HOOVESWEEK 6

[ponymeisters]

[Morning, Equestrians! It’s that time again, and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!]




Princess Celestia's darkest secrets are revealed under the veil of the scrolls! She was in fact corrupted like Nightmare Moon this entire time!? She and the legendary Star Swirl were on intimate terms!? And then she might have tried to murder him after he refused to support her!? And why not tell the populace instead of just the newcomer ponies!?

Well, maybe the dragon she's now dating - maybe all of us should watch out! After all, as the saying goes, "with friends like these"...

Other Top Stories Include:

Title: The REAL Truth About Princess Celestia
by Anonymouse

Title: The Griffaltar Goof
by Roberts Robin

Title: Equestria's Sleeping Scourge
by Eggs Benedict

Title: Good Morning, Night Market
by Tom Bronco


BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-Our Essay Contest winners are announced! The five grand prize essays are in this current issue, and they include writings about why cats don't like ponies, how 'humans' stole from ponies, and the lengths some off-worlders will go to incite violence in the pony population.
-A further look at the deteriorating conditions in Griffaltar. The drought may be over, but the heat in the Roc - the country's seat of government - is on. Protests and calls for free elections now threaten the current council's position as a result of mishandling, and one must wonder if this bodes well for our own rulers.
-A photo gallery of some of the strange species that appeared over the course of a week. Why were they here and where did they go?
-A report on the auction of the year, and some of the surprising treasures our reporters bought from it.
-The official confirmation of Tom Shanks' now-very timely movie, now known to be about Princess Celestia's youth.
-A retrospective about the Grand Galloping Gala, and some of its best and worst fashions.
-A review of Manehattan's newest and hottest eatery, a gastropub called The Hoof and Flowers! Everypony from across Equestria who is anypony will be knocking down the doors to this place, according to the famous food expert who ate there, and a franchise to spread the word would be a great idea.

So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!

((OOC: For those three winners among the playerbase, they recieved their copy of Hoovesweek the night before the issue hit stands, as well as a Hoovesweek badge card good for the day of April 28. Obviously, they will notice that their essays are...a bit different than what they remember writing. Ah, the joys of editing!

Also, as usual, feel free to react, or comment on those stories, or even make up seeing others in this issue!

Original picture credit is here.))

Comments

[superstylishsquid]

Did you see he even tried to take my sword?

[sumofallreds]

...So basically he tried to kidnap YOU. HAHAHA! I hope you cut him up good.

[superstylishsquid]

I fried him for it. And he found out the hard way that even if you do get it off me, I can call it back whenever I want.

[sumofallreds]

And give a nice zappy surprise in return.

[superstylishsquid]

He also tried to take the V-watch but I don't think it liked that. But I guess an alarm clock is close enough, right?

[sumofallreds]

It was certainly time for him to wake up.

[superstylishsquid]

I just hope he's learned better, it could get repetitive if he keeps trying.

[sumofallreds]

I've got plans if he shows up at my place again. I don't care HOW sneaky he is.

[superstylishsquid]

Now I'm almost hoping he tries again.

[sumofallreds]

Same here. Think we can lure him?

[superstylishsquid]

Hmmm...maybe leave a bunch of magic stuff just lying around?

[sumofallreds]

Some Ranger keys and such should do it.

[superstylishsquid]

Want some help? I could hide out in my sword form if he hasn't learned his lesson about that.

[sumofallreds]

Sounds good. Then if he gives us actual trouble we go badass form on him

[superstylishsquid]

I wonder what would happen if I turned into a sword while using the V-watch...

*Alastor no, don't be a Munchkin.*

[sumofallreds]

I don't think it'll be time for experimenting...try it beforehand.

[superstylishsquid]

Might be good to know, anyway. Just in case I need to combine my full power with yours or Dante's.

[sumofallreds]

Sounds good to me. Back-up plans are always best.

[superstylishsquid]

I just wish there wasn't a timer on this thing...and that it didn't lock me out of my full demon form.

[sumofallreds]

Well I wish my ship wasn't travel-sized. What can ya do?

[superstylishsquid]

Isn't any ship travel-sized by definition?

[sumofallreds]

Yeah...but not in the size of being on another ship usually.

[superstylishsquid]

Then maybe that's not the best phrase to use.

[sumofallreds]

Like any other is any better. I'm not comparing my ship to FOOD.