1st Revenge [Visual]

[angry_jerk]

[Today on the scroll network, the pony community may get the distinct honor of meeting this lovely batpony. The one glaring at the feed.]

Alright, here's how this is gonna work. Whoever is in charge of this vacuous collection of depravity, send me home immediately. Even if you do not, I will be merciful and choose to simply OBLITERATE this asinine carouse of deceit!

If you heed my words and don't try to bilk me of my safe return, I will try and forget that I have been kidnapped against my will, transformed into this abomination, dropped off in some candy coated sinkhole, with-

[He pauses mid-rant.]

On second thought, SCREW THE DEAL! I'LL ERADICATE WHATEVER MALEVOLENT JERKWAD THAT THINKS IT CAN STULIFY ME BY TURNING ME INTO A HORSE! I'll PURVERIZE YOU! I’LL EVISCERATE YOU! I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!

[He finally stops to take a deep breath.]

...So, get back to me when you get this.

...I'm Dan.

Comments

[visual]

[honeycombing]

. . .

[visual]

[angry_jerk]

[Oh. That was quick. He blinks a little and his wings sort of twitch a bit.

Doesn't look dangerous, but the whole pony universe thing might mean they're more deadly that they appear. Especially if this thing's the ruler.]

...So, should I start eviscerating you right away, or...?

[visual]

[honeycombing]

That's not very nice. You shouldn't be threatening ponies like that Especially when they don't know how they do here either.

[hangthedj]

[Grinning. Just... grinning.]

Oh, you're just a big ol' bucket'a cheer, ain't ya?

[angry_jerk]

Your face is a stupid, big, dumb, bucket of cheer!

[hangthedj]

Oh! Hostile. I can feel the hostility.

Dan, my man, I can tell you're gonna be makin' a lotta friends around here.

[tinkertytonk]

[A pegasus with a furrowed brow is gazing sternly at the batpony.]

Steady on, old boy. Princess Celestia hasn't got anything to do with bringing you here. And you really oughtn't go around threatening ponies. It's just not on.

[angry_jerk]

Oh joy. The British.

I'll decide for myself what I think your "innocent" monarch's involvement in this nonsense is!

And don't you tell me how to carry on with my business, you snooty half-wit!

[visual]

[snowpointvictor]

[Yeah, Zoey doesn't even know this guy and already she's picking up a very strong 'Paul' vibe from this Dan guy.]

A few things: one, threatening people here doesn't work. Two, there's plenty of people here trapped and tranformed into ponies. The screaming isn't helping anything. And third? No one knows who sent us here, but it wasn't the people in charge of this world.

[visual]

[angry_jerk]

[He briefly mumbles something like "make lists at me, I'll make you a list you brat."]

1. Threatening people always works! How do you think PETA got power?

2. Same as the first, but replace threatening with screaming and PETA with the Salvation Army.

3. Sure, that's what they say. I don't expect a brat to understand how corruption works.

[Visual]

[taiyoooohhh]

[And amidst all these ponies there's also a phoenix.]

Such threats! Do you truly intend to follow up on your actions? Or are you merely blowing hot air?

[Visual] 1/3

[angry_jerk]

I'm less planning on blowing hot air and more BLOWING UP YO-

[Visual]

[angry_jerk]

[Visual] done

[angry_jerk]

...the hell are you supposed to be?

[visual]

[sekai_level]

Dear guest, if there is an individual or being responsible for ALL of US being brought here and transformed into various pony-esque creatures against our will, they have not yet stepped forward and identified themselves.

I am Pierrot. The pleasure is mine, I'm sure.

[visual]

[angry_jerk]

[He stares for a few seconds before face hoofing.]

And then the Cirque Du Soleil reject shows up. Perfect.

[Audio]

[surpriserainbows]

[Man. Why do so many of those who end up being brought here end up being some kind of psycho, or freak, or just plain rude? Surprise guesses she's one to talk but it's beginning to get legitimately annoying.]

You know man, if you really want to bargain with others you might want to try and come up with a better deal.

[Audio]

[angry_jerk]

[He taps his chin with his hoof, thinking carefully.]

You raise an intriguing point. If I tear off their limbs, I might not get any good information.

[Visual]

[pseudacteon_emigre]

[Guess who has been watching Dan rant and rave in the town square for up to hours now? He doesn't go up to the batpony in person, though. No, he responds via the scroll network, like anyone else would.]

The one behind it is a mare running a cursed antiques shop right here in town! Her name is Harvester. Go to work.

[Well. That was surprisingly forthcoming and helpful! But then, all these other peopleponies were saying that nobody knew who was doing this.

Who do you believe, Dan? The changeling is rather hoping you believe him.]

[Visual]

[angry_jerk]

Harvester, huh?

[He bursts into a wicked grin.] Perfect.

[Being as fickle as he is, Dan immediately takes on the advice on this one creepy, if awesome looking, guy. He pulls out his notebook (once again failing to balance them between his hooves) and starts trying to write down the name.

After about five minutes, he pauses.]

Whad elf cam gyoo ell me?

[Visual]

[queentakesknight]

(Lo and behold, the scroll reveals a mare whose mane in fact, looks like someone vomited seaweed on her head.

No doubt, it's the pony that changeling said was responsible for this mess.)

What makes you think the one responsible would readily respond to such a...wonderful message?

[Visual]

[angry_jerk]

[Dan takes note of that awful mane. He quickly stifles the urge to scream at her, followed by quelling that need to laugh wickedly.

He can play this game. Badly]

All evil villains can't resist the chance to gloat over their captives. Especially if they think they've tricked the heroes...

It's just how their stupid, moronic, twisted minds work.

[strawberryredgrave]

(Hi, Dan. Have a red dragon on the receiving end.)

Let me know if you get your hands on 'em, yeah? This place is too nice for proper ass kicking and it gets boring real quick.

1/2

[angry_jerk]

I WIL-

[angry_jerk]

[Suddenly realizing what he was looking at, Dan began to sputter and stammer in surprise.]

Ah.... Uh.... You....

You're a dragon.