[Discord appears on the scroll once again. He's his usual self by the looks of it.]

So, looks like some of us have been turning into diaper-clad foals, while others seriously need some wrinkle cream. Am I right?

[...Yup, silence. Loving it.]

...Right. Anyways. It has come to my attention that my help might be required to return everypony to their rightful, confused selves. And I have been force-[coughcough]-asked nicely to lend a hoof.

So... whomever wants to get back to their normal selves, kindly give me a call, and I'll do what I can. C'mon, what's the worst that could happen?
[Because absolutely nothing can go wrong here. Do you sare give it a chance?]

[Here's one of the rarer ponies on the network. She looks kind of contemplative as she starts the feed.]

I've been wondering something. Now that I have magic, would it be easier for me to learn how to Warp?

[You... may have to ask for clarification.]

[Hello, Equestria. The scroll's video feed opens up on a very large orange pony with a yellow mane, beard, and tail. There's a large trident propped up on the wall behind him, and it matches his Cutie Mark rather well.]

OUTRAGEOUS! Just when I thought this day couldn't get any more unusual, they've given me a magic scroll to record my adventure with! How thoughtful!

[Bad news: he's mistaken the scroll for some sort of personal diary instead of a communication device. This is because he likely quit paying attention when he got it.]

But every adventure needs a good title! I'll call this one..."THE TIME I GOT TURNED INTO A WEE ORANGE PONY AND GOT A MAGICAL SCROLL BEFORE STARTING OUT ON THE REAL ADVENTURE!"

So this adventure all started when I was in the ocean one minute, and on land the next, only I had HOOVES...

[Someone had better stop him before he starts giving an overblown, exaggerated play-by-play of his life story in Equestria up to this point, really.]

[For a moment, there is just a white pegasus staring out at you from the scroll. She rolls her teeth over her lower lip nervously for a moment, thinking, and for a moment it doesn't look like she's going to say anything at all. Until, finally, she manages out an]

Um.

Hi.

[Crap. That wasn't all that good a start to this. Surprise contemplates just rolling the scroll back up and giving this up for the moment, hoping that no one noticed this embarrassing display. But at the same time, if she doesn't do this now she knows there's a good chance she's going to lack the courage to try and say it later. And even she's aware that it's important she says this, for her own mental good if nothing else.

Surprise takes a deep breath, and then starts again.]

My name is Surprise. A lot of you probably don't know me - I mean, I don't use the scroll that much, or go out that much, or talk that much, or do anything that requires the word "much" in front of it that much - but I think. Um. As presumptuous as this sounds, I think we should talk about the last month, cause something's been bothering me.

I'm not going to really...say much about what happened last month, because I wasn't there and it isn't any of my business in the end. But I am going to say that I what happened kind of stressed something, and that's that all of us here, who got brought here or who naturally have the scrolls, kind of need to work on knowing one another better. And I know that sounds kind of childish and silly. I know that there are a lot of us here who've been brought with others they know, and they just want to stick to who they know or form their own little groups. And there are a lot who just want to be left alone, and not have to deal with anyone. And you know something?

That's okay! In the end, it's alright to not want to have to deal with everyone else if you don't want to, or to actually get to know others! A lot of ponies, or people, or whatever noun you use to describe yourself, don't want to be here. A lot of us want to just go back home, especially after a third of a year, and that makes sense too. A lot of us are shell shocked, some by how strange and the drastic change to themselves here and some of us just by how familiar and yet different the place is. There isn't really anything truly familiar anyone has to hold on to. So, sometimes, you have to hold on to something you can rely on, and that you can get a hold of easily. And in a lot of cases, that's going to be each other.

Look. When I say that? I don't mean we all have to be friends. I don't really think that's possible for a lot of us. But we do need to at least try and see if we can act like a cohesive community, and we need to for two reasons. The first is that if we do, we'll have a better chance of finding others who could be...problematic before an actual problem or incident occurs, and we cut any tragedies off before they occur. The second is that if we want the cooperation of the actual population here, we need to act not just like a community, but show we at least have goodwill towards them. If we don't, the ponies here are going to be scared of all of us just because of the actions of one or two of us, and they're going to make living here, especially for natural ponies, a lot harder than it has to be.

I know this is asking a lot, especially after the event last month and last week. But. I guess...

[She pauses for a moment. What she wants to say isn't hard to phrase per se. It's more that it's difficult just because of how different it is compared to how she's thought before.]

I guess I've learned something, after four months here. Especially after the last few weeks. And that's that it's okay to trust. Even if things are going bad, or you don't really know somepony all that well, or even if you're just scared and nervous in general. More often than not, it's okay to trust others, even when you don't necessarily want to. That's what I learned.

I guess what I'm saying is...we need trust. And at least some cooperation between each other. Because if we don't, things are going to go more and more south as time goes on here.

Uh. Thanks for listening, man. I know this was kind a rambling and didn't go no where, but. It's just something I had to say.

[Oh, the smirk on the unicorn's face as he addresses the scroll...]

So, Ponyville... how are you enjoying that trueberry-laced storm we had the other day?

Hyaaa ha ha ha ha! Don't sugarcoat it! Go on, be honest!

[when AJ comes on the screen, she looks a little more subdued than usual]

Howdy there, everypony.

Uh. Ah don't wanna make light of all the things that've been happenin' around here lately, yanno? But Ah was wonderin' if anypony would like to help me put together a hoedown, or somethin'. [Pinkie Pie, she's looking at you] T'lift spirits?

[at that, she looks a bit sheepish. did that sound inconsiderate? things like murder don't. usually happen here, at least not that she knows of... AJ rubs her cheek with her hoof]

Yeah, so... Lemme know. Thanks.

[Vaan had been pacing quite a bit after arriving, just getting used to... standing like this. It was different then having claws, or hands, or anything like that. But, okay. He can do this. He's a clan leader, even if there's probably a large feathery leviathan out destroying Mt. Gulug.
He's sitting down now, trying to look as serious as he can, one hoof on his necklace. Please...]
My name is Vaan, of... of a clan. I'm guessing I'm not the only one who was turned into some sort of... pony-esque creature? [What sort of monsters are these? Vaans ears twitch, his wings pressed to his body. He does not want this, his whole body is trembling.] I'll keep this brief. I brought some weapons with me - but... how am I meant to use them with these hooves?
[He's quiet for a whole minute, before adding, a little sheepishly:] And where am I meant to live? Back home, I had the airship, but... [Though he's trying to keep his face straight, Vaan is taking this rather badly. He does not want to be here. He ends the transmission with a grumpy pout - and, he does jump a bit when the scroll vanishes in green flames.

He does not like this. He wants to be able to fight as soon as possible, so he can find a way home. If you wanna action it up? Vaan's gonna be pacing around the Town Square, thinking over what he needs to do. Maybe he should have asked if his clan mates had been around? He's still sort-of wanted for the murders he's done. Hopefully, these people don't know about that - why would they?]

( And then this happened )

Ah! There's my scroll!

[And with that, Celestia floats the paper over to her.]

I figured I'd find it again sooner or later. Anyhow, I do apologize, my little ponies, for being so silent these past few...weeks? Its hard to tell how much time has passed without seeing the sun. Especially down in this part of the library! I completely forgot how deep this could-

[A suddenly chorus of "yooooguuuuuuurts" echo behind her. She turns, seeing a giant cadre of skeleton pony zombies, of various types, staring at her, tongue spurs instantly out and licking their lips.]

Hmm. Hold that thought.

[Cue the fight music!]

[She wasn't sure what to do.

Having grown up mostly in a climate where animals breaking into one's home wasn't a concern, she wasn't prepared for it here. Her kitchen was a mess, most of her food had been partially eaten, and now there were... sizable patches of ice everywhere? In summer?

Oh, and all the weasels running around.]

Does anyone know how to deal with pests? Or wouldn't mind coming to [insert some address here] and helping me with them?

[Well, here's Honeycomb, leaving the EVIL Zetta's castle. Just. On her own. Some minions waving back at her, holding...jars?]

Bye! See you later, guys!

[Oh, right. Scroll.]

So that was totally fun! Being kidnapped was certainly an experience - I read comic books, I played hide and seek, and kept getting put in closets. I even got to see a almost wedding! It was sooooo cool! I dunno why people back home told me why being kidnapped was bad.

[At this, Honeycomb shrugs.]

Well. Its only fair that I at least give Zetta a gift for hosting such a cool kidnapping, so I gave him a couple free jars of a special edition honey that the beehive I brought produced while we were here.

I call it...Hijacked Honey! Its definitely got a little more kick in it than normal honey, that's for sure. So I'm gonna be selling the rest of my stock of it once I get back to Ponyville if anyone's interested! You all should try it - you won't regret it!

[And with that, she leaves, waving back to the minions before turning the scroll off. One of them has the jar stuck on its muzzle, in its attempt to eat it. Oops.]

VISUAL to ACTION

[ He looks like he's considering something, ]

I went off exploring for a while and've been wanderin' 'round for a while now, actually 'bout two weeks... I guess I sorta got lost. So I was wonderin'f anypony knew how I'd be able ta find the way back to anywhere anypony knows of.

[ He rambles off a description about a forest and a path and a lot of things, and then stumbles out of a bush. ]

[ And that's when he notices that he's strolled right into the town square. ]

Oh... Oh!

[ He laughs sheepishly. ]

Seems I ain't lost 'nymore!

[Hey there, everyone! Here's someone who hasn't been on the network much; He seems to be working on painting the panel!]

Ok...and...done!

[...Wait. Why is Don's voice coming from behind the scroll. As Don's voice speaks, his body starts awkwardly trotting in several different directions, as if it were indecisive.]

Ok, now that I'm...done...nope, right, go right...turrrrrn around...Ok.

[And as Don's body turns, well...be prepared, Equestrians, as his head tilts around - finally - looks at the camera.

He has no face.

No.

Really.]

So, uh...I'm just wondering. Those who...might know something about equine medicine. Is it normal for your face to float away from the rest of your body while you sleep? Because...that happened. And...every time I try to get my body towards my face it...randomly starts floating towards another part of the room. I can...mostly control my body, but since it can't see where it's going...you can see where problems would start.

[There is a sheepish chucking at this. The body, meanwhile, is tilting its head and scratching its back with its back hind leg.]

If this is not normal, ah, just for the record, I am not allergic to penicillin. And...take your time getting here to check me out if you need to, I'm in my home and not...going to be going anywhere for...obvious reasons. And, uh, no pain. Just...this.

[At this, the horse body began to feel around for the scroll, in order to turn it off.]

Nope, wait, overeaching-

[Click.]

So, you know what is even more confusing and upsetting than waking up and finding that some kind of voodoo has turned you into a pony overnight?

[Have a moment to think this over while Fai levers a severely unimpressed look at the scroll.]

It's waking up, realizing that you're a pony, and then finding out that your ex-boyfriend and best friend are also ponies and they're currently trying to kill each other. Or at least maim each other severely.

[Yeah, Lovino and Feliks, he's looking at you here. He's so very disappoint, you don't even know. Then he rolls his eyes and actually manages to smile, visibly relaxing just a bit.]

The somewhat better part is finding out that on top of my normal mutant power, which still seems to be working, I am suddenly apparently telekinetic. Or my horn is, maybe? Wow, that didn't sound dirty or anything... But seriously, is that somehow part of the deal? Like, become some kind of weird unicorn, get telekinesis? Or did I just develop a random secondary mutation while I was at it?

[He takes a breath, seeming to realize he's babbling, and shifts from one side's hoofs to the other's, seemingly in embarrassment, but his smile stays.]

So, either I'm caught up in some kind of mass-hallucination caused by a seriously weird telepath, or this is really happening. Either way, I guess I'm stuck as a pony for now. So, uh... what do people do around here, huh?

[Johnny stood in front of the scroll, tilting his head every now and again. Once in a while, he'd give it a gentle poke with his... muzzle. He was only trying to make sense of the thing that was in front of him.]

Now then, what to do with you?

[It didn't take too long, before he realized what the scroll's use was for.]

Well, isn't that clever! Now then...I should be using this to make a call out to those I know...

Excuse me, for interrupting your daily lives. I understand that I'm now a small talking equine, but I'm rather curious as to why... No, that's not right. Perhaps it would only be polite of me to make an introduction.

My name is Johnny. Try not to forget the name, hm?

[A pause...]

So, might someone be so kind as to tell me what's going on? This isn't exactly the town I recall from yesterday...

(forward-dated to sunday)

[Slipstream is dressed in her best dress uniform, looking more stern than usual.]

It has come to my attention that an attack has been made on the princesses. A subtle attack, or as subtle as graffiti during an event as important as the Gala, but I feel that it will demand precise unification among those who can fight.

I require names, skills, and pony type for any and all willing to take up arms. I don't want to go looking for trouble, but if it comes, it would be careless to not have a civilian force designed to address foreign threats. I will, especially, require a roll call, and I will set up an official training session within the week.

I myself am skilled in endurance, training new recruits, and keeping strict order; Ms. Flare Star can place ponies in their most useful positions, and Ms. Rainbow Dash specializes in speed and combat. Together we should be able to put together a force to be reckoned with. Just don't expect it to be easy. Cadets, you will take on further responsibilities as you advance, but traitors will be unceremoniously removed from the program. Is that understood?

[And then, a note just for Rainbow Dash and Flare Star.]

If this crosses a line with either of you, please correspond with me. We have spoken on such matters in the past and it seemed that swift action was necessary.

[The scroll opens with a special sparkle as a pure white pony with a flawless purple mane is seen, batting her eyelashes at the viewers]

There's no time for introductions right now since we have very important business to attend to, my dear foreign ponies. I heard from a little bird that there are ponies out there who are having gala related problems and I would like to take it upon myself to help you poor creatures while there's still time.

Come to my boutique and I'll whip something up for you. Think if it as a "welcome to ponyville and have fun at the gala" present.

As for my dear, dear friends...I may have already finished some dresses for you girls.

Okay, I'm in a sticky situation now, and I'm not just talking about all the tree sap.

[Karrin's eyes narrow, and even from the two-dimensional image of the scroll, her irritation is tangible.]

So. Much. Tree sap.

I can't possibly be this bad at getting a job. I mean, sure, I've been working at my life calling and career for over two decades, but I have skills beyond being a police officer and martial artist!

Maybe it's been a while since the last time I had to fill out a job application, but it's not like the song and dance really changes - you dress up a bit (still only seen a handful of the natives put on clothing more than once or twice, setting aside that one purple-haired unicorn shopkeeper), talk about your strengths and weaknesses and why you're a perfect fit for the job blah blah blah...

Three kitchen fires. Five glue incidents. Six incidents that ended with ponies getting things stuck in their eyes. Eight incidents that ended in near violence. And no less than fourteen incidents involving tree sap.

[At this point, Karrin reaches over and physically shakes the scroll in vexation. The veins of her eyes are clearly visible.]

HOW, I ASK, DID TREE SAP GET INTO THAT BUCKET OF PAINT!? HOW?!

[Deep, calming breath. The scroll is put down again.]

Anyways, I'm at my wits end, and I can't mooch off of Blossomforth forever - does anyone have any odd jobs for some...-pony... who's down on her luck? I don't have a lot of strength, seeing as how the universe decided it'd be hilarious to stick me in a body even shorter than the one I'm used to, but I work hard and can stick to my guns.

Anybody?

...Any... pony?

[Hey, remember those scrolls everypony got yesterday? They come to life again, though this time you get the ever-so-pleasant image of a a salmon-pink hoof firmly prodding at the scroll combined with a frustrated, gruff feminine voice.]

Urgh... how am I supposed to get these bucking things working...

[The hoof prods a few more times, then the pony owning it lets out a sigh.]

Guess there's only one way to see if it works...

[The pony stands up, stretching out and looking down at the scroll, speaking up. There's no way to gauge her size, though she is a bit broader than most of the other ponies around.]

Oi! Newponies! I take it that someone around Ponyville has already filled you in on the specifics - what Equestria is, the fact that we don't have any idea how you got here or how to get you home. Hopefully by now you've learned how to walk on four hooves; if not, life's only gonna get harder on ya. There should be unicorns and pegasi willin' to teach you how to use your horns and wings, if nothin' else. Should come naturally enough with enough time, all of it.

ANYWAY. For those of you who didn't see me in that mess with you all, name's Flare Star. Freelance monster hunter, retired town guard. I notice it didn't take folks long to stick their noses where they shouldn't belong - I've heard rumors that an Ursa Minor got woken up, and there's been whispers of ponies wandering in all sorts of unsafe directions. If any of it's true, it's gotta stop.

I get it; a lot of you come from worlds different from this one. Where danger is a constant, not an exception. But the ponies in this world? They don't have any reason t'constantly fear for their lives. Don't give them one, don't muck up this world by fussin' with things you don't know about.

Look, what I'm saying is stay out of the forests south of Ponyville. The Everfree Forest is full of all sorts of nasty magic, and critters there can and will try to kill you, or worse. Stuff both bigger and more deadly than the dragon you woke up next to. If you decide to go in there anyway, you take your life in your own hooves, so if somethin' happens, for the love of Celestia DON'T DRAG IT OUT OF THE FOREST INTO TOWN WITH YOU, OR YOU'RE ENDANGERING A BUNCH OF INNOCENT PONIES.

If anyone's interested in learnin' self-defense as a pony, I can teach ya, but for now the best way to stay safe is to not go into dangerous areas. Th'trains travel between pretty much every town in Equestria, so there's no excuse for wanderin' off on your own outta ignorance.

I'm stationin' myself in a shack not too far from the edge of the forest to make sure no monsters get out of there, but I'd really rather not see any ponies headin' in there, either.

We clear?

[Sometime after the ponies wake up, scrolls and quills suddenly start raining from the sky. Don't worry, its not the ponypocalypse, its just a squadron of flying white ponies dropping them from above.

Once everyone receives one, the scrolls suddenly glow and come to life, its surface revealing the visage of a large white alicorn with rainbow hair and a golden crown, sitting on a large, velvet-upholstered throne. She has a calm, reassuring, regal smile on her face as she speaks, though those who know her better can see the light of worry and concern in her eyes.]

Good afternoon, newponies! I am Princess Celestia.

I've heard of your arrival in Ponyville and of some of the more interesting stories that have come from it. We're...not certain how this phenomenon has occurred, but we here at the royal castle will put our efforts into solving this mystery, and I hope you will help us out as we wish to help you out!

Rest assured, no harm will come to you. Nor, as some of you have worried, are we holding you against your will. On the contrary, you're free to move about Equestria as you please, be it through Ponyville, Los Pegasus or anywhere in between. I only request that you use the scrolls we have provided you to check in from time to time, so that we know where you might be when we figure out the solution to this current situation.

If you have any questions, you are free to ask them of me. If I am not available - and, I will admit, there are times when I can be quite busy - there are many other ponies willing to help you, including the other princesses of Equestria. We are all in this together, after all.

[And then she smiles a little more. Its a much more relaxed smile. The concern is still there, of course.]

But, in the meantime, I'd also like to get to know all of you! I always like to meet new people, after all. I hear we even have a dragon?