Does anyone know where I can get several gallons of, say, beeswax? Or...more. Probably more. Also suggestions for commune-related scents other than Burning Building.

[Zetta has no investment in the farm. Zetta really has no bond or attachment to the place. So the alicorn merely taps his scroll thoughtfully as he brings it on, looking into it.]

Far be it from me to meddle in the affairs of private citizens, subjects of mine though they might be. But a bid isn't a purchase, you know.

No owner would turn down a higher offer if one came along.

As long as we're asking questions to the network at LARGE! Is it still considered immoral to rip someone - say, a pony - from the timestream and consume his entire existence so that he never truly came to be at all? At which point one would obviously sew the resultant gaps in reality back together, just to keep things from collapsing entirely...

I'm asking for a friend.

Okay, somepony tell me something:

Did anyone remember to set up a deed to the Commune or did everypony decide to set up shop without thinking of that?

[Well, this is unusual. The scroll comes on, revealing a middle-aged, stocky green stallion, with slicked back dark brown hair and a pencil mustache. He would seem tobe an otherwise normal pony - nothing outwardly odd or ominous. For those who deigned to go to the movie premiere, however, there is no doubt who this is.

This is Tom Shanks.

And he's beaming.]

Howdy, my friends! That's how Ponyville talks nowadays, right? Well, in any case, this is Tom Shanks, owner of Placeton and Quarterhorse Quarterly, with a special announcement! We're expanding again!

[Why does he look so happy. Why is he telling the off-worlders.]

And we've found the perfect place to do so. See, I've wanted to expand my business to the smaller towns, spread the truth and beauty I've come to find recently, but I just can't seem to do it without a significant presence. So, I've decided to buy up some lands that were in lien - don't worry yourselves about what that means, by the way - to make a brand new production lot right here in Ponyville!

[Waving his hoof, he moved aside, revealing a curtain. An unlucky assistant pulled it, revealing a large sign with a before and after picture. The after picture is a sprawling mecca of buildings, studios, and even a mini theme park clearly designed with Quest for Canterlot in mind. Its, for pony standards, impressive and advanced?

The before side?...looks...an awful lot like Satyagraha Farm.]

We'll have the legal niceties wrapped up by the end of the week. I've already put a bid on the place, and I believe I'll be able to bring my dream of truth to Ponyville at long last.

[A pleased, deep breath of contentment. Then he comes back to the scroll again, his voice flat as he stares.]

Oh, also, to the squatters on my land? You have a week to pack up and leave before I start razing. Nothing personal, just progress.

There you are! [The scruffy pony who appears on the scrolls seems to be talking to…the scroll itself? He tries to brush something off of it with one hoof only to put a big smear of mud down the middle of what would be its lens if it weren't a magical piece of paper, and grimaces as he uses an elbow instead to mostly get it back off. Dressed in a torn blue vest, he looks like he hasn't washed in over a week, let alone combed his mane. The view over his shoulder is of a forest canopy.]

Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! Thought I was going to have to get a new one whenever I got ho -- got back. To the commune, not home, suppose the commune is a home -- right. Ah…right.

What'd I miss? It's been…what? Few weeks? Anything happen while I was gone? And before you ask, I did not find the Tree of Harmony, that was a bad lead. A very, very bad lead.

[All right, this has gone long enough. Hiding in her little cottage is really not working. In spite of being embarrassed about the mossy mess that her mane as become, Donna takes to the scrolls.]

Okay. Scientists. I know there are, like, 20 of you out there. What's actually being done about this Poison Joke thing and how can we help? Because I'm about sick of having my hair constantly damp and slightly slimy. It's a mess on my pillow in the morning, and I'd really rather not live life on plastic sheets, thanks.

I know the regular cures for the Joke aren't working. What's next?

*It's a castle day again, but Alastor isn't in her throne. No, she's standing on a balcony, looking out into the distance. She's not bothering with her helmet today, and her eyes are glowing harshly. Her ears are flat against the sides of her head, and her tail is swishing around in irritation.*

I think I can safely speak for all of us when I say all this 'offworlders get nothing but negative attention' thing has been going on for long enough. But I guess I can concede one point: we don't generally get involved in this world's affairs unless it has something to do wit Calice or there's an active threat. We don't have anything we can point at and remind them that we've done good that they can't claim was just because we were in danger too.

( OOC cut for tl;dr )

I'm sure by now you're wondering what my point is. The short version is, I want to have a 'chat' with the head of the Griffon Council both to keep her from postponing the elections and to find out just what er beef is with Equestria. Uh...no offense to anyone with bovine friends. But anyway, I have a way to catch her alone after a meeting, but I don't want to go alone, just in case something crops up that isn't quite in my area of expertise. I was going to bring Dante, but...

*She shakes her head.*

I'm looking for about four people to come with me, ideally including a couple that are good with negotiations and a couple that can handle security if she manages to call them in. Everyone involved should be able to pull of stealth. We don't want the entire secret service kicking in the door while we're trying to talk politics.

So...uh. That's it. Anypony who wants to know details about what happened with Ironclaw's family can talk to me in person, but besides that...any takers?

I always thought of the creatures born of Earth as weak and helpless. They entrust their feeble hearts and pitiful strength to each other to distract them from their own futility. But I think I understand how they must feel.

What happens when the people they counted on being there for them simply vanish in an instant? All the treasured time spent with the ones they call their "friends" becomes just little more than a memory. As if it had never happened. This is the eternal burden the weak bear, a consequence of their inability to trust their own power. They latch onto the warmth of the past, but the cold, vast future inevitably consumes them.

This thing called friendship only makes isolation that much more unbearable.

Remember that escape is our highest priority. Our experiences here are transient and inconsequential to the goals and responsibilities that still await us in our own worlds.

I won't forget that anymore.

[The younger Tails is standing inside a shop that looks brand new and has likely never been seen by other ponies in town before. There's a counter with glass showing different colored versions of a strange looking horn-like device. He's holding one with a yellow gem inside.]

After many delays, I'm happy to announce my new shop, which sells my creation, the Artif-Horns. Some of you might be familiar with these back in November, but since then they have been hugely improved. Those of you who weren't around to see them, allow me to explain.

The Artif-Horns are fake horns that use special gems with magical properties to simulate a unicorn's basic magic or telekinesis. It gives off a magic type of electricity that are completely safe. With these, no more having to use your mouth to pick up things.

[He slips on the Artif-Horn he was holding and yellow electricity comes out and lifts the scroll up as the gem inside glows yellow. He looks to the side and more shoot out to pick up a couple books, which are then placed over to on top of the counter.]

As you can see, no damage to the books. It's also completely safe on pets, no more tickling issues.

If you want to test them out while in the shop or if you feel like testing your unicorn magic if you're a unicorn, you can.

[He moves the scroll to the side, showing what appeared to be several small bean bags and two wooden boards with a hole in each of them.]

This game is called Cornhole. The object of the game is using either one of the Artif-Horns or your unicorn magic to throw one of these beanbags into the opponents' board to score points.

Both players or teams take turns doing so. If you manage to get one in the opponent's board, you score three points. But if both opponents have the same score, they cancel out and the person or team that was first in the last round has to throw again. You win the game by whoever scores 21 points first and whichever team wins two games wins the match.

[He lifts a beanbag with the Artif-Horn and throws it into one of the boards before moving the scroll and turns his attention back to it.]

If you have other games or suggestions on ways customers can test out the Artif-Horns, I'm open to suggestions.

[He moves the scroll closer to the counter, showing a better view of the Artif-Horns behind the counter.]

As you can see, they can come in all colors you can find in the rainbow. Though sadly rainbow-colored Artif-Horns are not available at the moment.

[The scroll is finally moved back to Tails' hoof and both the glowing and the electricity stops.]

Any questions?

Alright everyone. Quick question. Since Mom and I are going to head back into Tartarus sometime in the near future, who wants to join in? We know some people are already coming in.

[It's Patchy on the scrolls again, but this time she's much less composed than she usually is. She looks quite embarrassed, completely unable to make eye contact with the scroll for more than a few moments at a time.]

I have a... problem that I require assistance with. It's...

[There's a moment as she figures out how to say this.]

I have just received a substantial grant from the Equestrian Department of Magic Research. However, it came with a stipulation. I have been tasked with seeing if there are any effects on off-world magic in response to the local magic of "friendship." The presence of the latter has a significant spike in intensity when a new friendship is formed, so I have been tasked with "making a new friend." Further, with the Gala soon, I am also required to attend as their date.

I don't know how to go about doing either of those things. I will need help, in that regard.

[She looks like she has something else to say, but decides against it, hastily closing the scroll to end this torture.]

Harvey, there's something I should have told you.

You told me once that Pollo was wearing the skin of your friend. When we returned to our own forms I helped him remove it, and we buried it in the White Tail Woods.

I'm sorry.

[Why, yes, that is indeed a train on the scrolls.]

[A very angry, rather demonic-looking train.]

[It doesn't seem to be doing much, however. Just kinda sitting there at the train station.]

[From behind the scroll, presumably holding it, Patchy speaks.]

I was not expecting this to survive long past its creation. I had intended it to be fodder to hold off the magic-hungry centaur, but, as with every other figure attempting to perform a coup, it was wholly incompetent, and failed to drain even this train. Perhaps it sensed the trap I had set up.

[The train doesn't appear to be all that happy to be referred to as "fodder," but it always looks like that, so it's hard to tell.]

Regardless, I cannot disenchant it now, due to the fact I designed to to violently combust if its magic fails, so I must leave it here at the train station. The staff isn't happy with this, but there is little to do now. It considers itself the guardian of Ponyville, and refuses to move. I simply make this announcement to let the general population know that, despite its appearance, it is harmless to you. It regards Ponyville, as well as all natives and off-worlders living within and around it as its domain, and it will serve to protect it, if violently. Do not attempt to destroy or dispel it, or we will be without a train station.

...Perhaps I may convince it to serve as emergency transport. Does anypony know how to commune properly with a train given sentience via a combination of psionics and magic?

[So yeah. There's a familiar unicorn popping up on the scrolls, except, uh, he's not a unicorn any more. There's a couple of wings poking out from behind that massive fire mane.]

...As my first decree as Overlord of Equestria, apparently, I hereby, uh, politely request you all go light on the Princess jokes.

[...maybe he actually totally legitimately earned those wings, if he's asking like that.]

So, hey. I've got a question, now that th'world is back to what passes for "normal" 'round here.

What do you do if it turns out that you've been livin' a lie all your life? Not, like, in the Mayfield sense, but... what if you thought you were a hero and you turned out to only be hurtin' people, or...

[Flare goes quiet, and glances away.]

...or what if you believed you were cursed, only t'find out it was all in your head, and you were only holdin' yourself back? What do you do when you find that sorta thing out?

( [Private to Zetta] )

Ahahahahahahahaha!

[Well look at that everyone. Cameron is clearly in such a good mood to be human again he can't help but laugh. And change voices. And eye color - pretty sure Cameron's eyes weren't always an off-putting yellow.

Never mind the several, several scratches across his face. Nope.

Cameron's just happy.]

Hello Ponyville! Boy, I've been meaning to visit you guys for a while but ol' Owl Eyes is hard to get by, even for me! Gotta admit, if there's a downside to near omnipotence it's that it's only 'near'. But hey good job buddy for smashing through reality like a box of orphaned kittens that was thrown with a catapult smashing through concrete! You wouldn't imagine how loud that can be. Or even the cleanup! Go ahead, try; I promise your imagination can't get it right!

But hey long time watcher, first time caller! And you guys have been so fun to watch I've decided to throw a mystery prize your way: information! Ask me a question, and receive an answer, free of charge and fully true! Ask me the right question you might even get the right answer, but hey I'm not holding out too much on any of you doing that!

This goes for any of you out there who got sucked in here along with me thanks to the rainbow colored kaboom! For those of you who aren't familiar with the place either, I've got some tourist advice for you too: run into the forest right outside town and tackle the first living thing you see! I guarantee you it'll be a hoot! I suggest the wolves who look like they're made of sticks, they sure put up a fight and are funny when you're tearing them apart with your bare hands!

Really, they're kind of pushovers when you just jump on the biggest one and start tearing at it. I'm kind of disappointed!

[Bertie knows he's not a fighter by this point. He's invited ponies from the village to come hide in his and Dante's cave, and there's a gaggle of them gathered around, some already gray-eyed and drained of their powers. What one of them has told him is something that needs to be shared, though. And it's something that he wants to take part in. It's already the afternoon and so many ponies are already affected. He's not sure how much longer Tirek's reign of terror will continue.]

Hullo, everypony! Bertie Wooster here. I know we've all been having an awfully rough go of it with that Tirek blighter bobbing about, hoovering up everyone's cutie marks and powers. But I know we're all fighting the good fight, as well. And there are three ponies who should be here with us to do that, powers or not.

I'm going to Tartarus to rescue the princesses. They've been down there for hours now and there are a frightful lot of fiends scurrying about in the place. If this villains escaped from there, I'm more than certain there's got to be a dreadful lot of trouble in Tartarus. Ms. Nana Granate is a pony who sort of... runs it. I think? She'll probably need our help, too.

There's something that she told us the last time Ms. Zecora, Dante, and I managed to get lost down there: The door to Tartarus appears where it's needed.

[He glances off-screen and motions. A pale blue Earth pony with a silver mane leans into the frame of view.]

Mr. Terry Cloth arrived at mine and Dante's cave just half an hour ago. He found the door to Tartarus in his home.

[Terry speaks up.]

Yeah... it's kind of, like, where my bathroom used to be. So, that's awkward.

[Bertie's earnest expression fills the scroll again as the other stallion leans back out.]

He's at 331 Clipclop Drive in Ponyville. I'll be meeting anypony who wants to help there in two hours. It's a lot of time, but we haven't got much before the whole town is drained. Be careful moving there and avoid that villain at all costs!

((OOC: The log post associated with this is located HERE.))