mylittlejamjar | Scroll 14: Denial isn't just a river [Text; Anon]

So I normally don't do anon messages but I have an issue that has been eating at me for some time. By some time, make that a few years.

I've had a crush on someone from a past world I've been to.We have been apart for some time and I honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever see them again. Lo and behold, we both land here. I've already confirmed that it's possible it could work into something much closer but I'm not exactly sure if this person would return those feelings back. We managed and maintained a good sibling like relationship so far and I don't want it to go south in the worse case scenario.

Plus there's another reason why I haven't tried to initiate anything. I'm afraid it could possibly fracture another friendship. Technically that friend is not here anymore but knowing him, he'll be back sooner or later. I'm probably overthinking all of this aren't I?

You're free to judge me for asking for relationship advice when we have things like Calice to deal with. It's just something I wanted to get it off my chest for sometime and Hearts and Hooves Day made the internal nagging feeling worse.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm not judging you. You're not the only one struggling through a relationship in these tough times, and we all need people to help support us, be they friends or lovers. We need to stick together, and the windigoes before were proof of that.

Sounds to me like you don't trust him - or that mutual friend - to be rational about things. Otherwise you'd both be responsible and mature enough to know that a failed attempt at romance is just that - a failed attempt to try something that didn't work. Why would it be any more life-ruining than something like putting chocolate in macaroni and cheese?

Which is actually a lot better than you'd think!

Edited 2015-02-22 07:12 (UTC)

Well, it's kinda complicated. Long story short, said crush and friend are both from the same world but were on opposite sides of a super long conflict. They managed to create a truce in the first world the three of us were at and are now friends who like to snark at one another and argue who gets the spot in front of the fireplace when it gets too cold.

There's also the fact my friend lost contact with their significant other in the last world we were at. They keep saying it's alright but I feel like it isn't right for me go for a deeper relationship when my friend has no means of seeing theirs.

Like I said - I'm hearing a lack of trust here. If someone says it's alright, it's your choice not to believe them, but just remember that it's your choice. Don't use it as justification for getting cold feet, or you're gonna start resenting them and wreck the friendship anyway. It probably won't be obvious when it happens, either, just a bunch of subtle little things that gradually push you two apart.

If you ask me, I'd say go for broke and see if your friend wants to make it a package deal; if they were bigger enemies but patched things up, those two probably got some unresolved... shall we say 'tension' going on.

[Thanks, Flare. Saori almost choked on her tea due a mixture of horror and laughter.]

You do have a good point there.

Unfortunately a threesome wouldn't work for several complicated reasons including the fact one isn't interested in the opposite gender. If it were between my crush and my husband, instead we wouldn't have any problems. And before you ask, yes I'm married but it's an open relationship.

Then we shouldn't need to have this conversation, right? If your friend says he's okay with it, believe him. Chances are, if he's a true friend, he's telling the truth and would be much happier seeing you in a healthy relationship than beating yourself up over maybes or could-have-beens.

Go for it.

You don't wanna live with regret.

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