mylittlejamjar | [Visual] -8th Shadow- No absence of light...

[The scroll opens on Crmsn looking down into it, it's flat on the ground and he's hovering over it. It's pretty obvious that he's barely given himself time to breath since getting back. There's also a rather...unclear focus in his eyes.]

Alright. Alright I just...I need a second here just...okay the-nngh...

[He winces a little and shakes his head roughly.]

Ugh...kay...I...okay...the dive into Calice. Right. We went in, we did our thing...J-A's team is still in there s'far as I know. Ya might have already seen, but we lost one on the way out...I just...I wanted to give this a day but...

[He lets out a deep exasperated breath.]

First things first...I know there's a lot of feelings going around...believe me I know what it's like. And...digital gods...'Shy was brave, and is a wonderful pony. She'd be the first to tell us it was okay though. She was shy, and meek, but she was strong enough to put our needs above hers and put herself in harms way so we would be okay. That was friendship. That was bravery, and kindness the likes of which any person here would be lucky to find in their lifetime. And I for one am going to pull myself off my sorry arse and not stop believing in her. One way or another we're going to get her back.

[He takes another breath and re-steadys himself.]

...Second. Regarding Calice...

[He mulls something over and shifts a little uncomfortably, then looks back to the scroll.]

I've given this a lot of thought, and I don't think Calice and Twilight are the same...I want to say entity. I think they're sharing the same body and I don't know which we keep speaking to, but I'd imagine Twilight's still in there fighting back for control. I think...I think the power in control is getting stronger, and it keeps having to exert more control to keep its hold on her. It's...it's theory right now, but that was not the same force we felt the last time we were in there, and it was not...it wasn't as...as...nngh...

[He eases back looking more frustrated than tired and rubs at his temple.]

Fracking...work dangit! I need you to think more and hurt less. Coherent! That's the word. It wasn't as coherent as it was last time. It was more disjointed...i-it was...

Look I know this might sound strange, and everything hurts right now, but this is what I need you guys to do. For...for our friends. Don't give up on them. Don't start thinking this is hopeless. They are not gone. Fluttershy...the Twilight of that world...bit every pony that's been taken. They need our bravery, for us to face forwards. Keep them in your hearts and believe in their strength. We will get them back. So please, for them. Don't lose heart.

[He nods to the scroll, a little more affirmative in his stance.]

We all hurt, but hurting isn't going to get them back to us...that's all I have to say right now. If you want more answers I'll try and answer anything I can over the scroll, if you want someone to yell at, you can find me at the Decanter soaking this headache in a hard cider.

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[His eyes reflect barely-restrained anger, a volcano ready to broil.]

I would wish to yell at you...but you do not deserve it.

[He definitely recognizes that look and goes back to his drink.]

...like I said, I'm at the Decanter if you want to vent some, Leatherhead...Zhuqiaomon knows I deserve it.

[He didn't have the control he needed to focus and grab her. What good were powers if you didn't use them to save people.]

You would not like it...

[He eyes look away from the scroll.]

I knew her...I knew her before this place...she was all I had left of that world...

[And with Donnie god-knows-where, it felt definite.]

Wouldn't be my place to like or dislike, just take it...

[He rubs his face and sighs deeply again.]

...to be honest you guys are the strongest reminder of home I have Leatherhead. People who actually know about Digimon. It's like some slice of home found its way here to me. Different, but similar...makes the digital part of me happy at least.

I do not want to hurt you...

[He's trying to warn you, dude. But hearing that last part? That hurt.]

...I am not sure I truly have a home anymore.

That is very sweet of you L-H.

[He's not aware of that really.

After a moment he lightly begins to gnaw on his mug.]

Believe me when I tell ya this, big guy, there's always a home...even when it seems or feels like there isn't, or if it takes a million years to get back to. Home is always waiting for you...somewhere...

I have yet to find it...maybe because I was born of two worlds...worlds that do not want me.

[SIGHS, he really thought he got past this a month ago.]

...you are trying to eat your cup.

I know the feeling Leatherhead...

[He blinks at the observation and looks at the mug then back at the scroll.]

Er yeah...why? S'what any 'mon does when it's hungry. Helps us restore our power faster.

Then you can see that my friends...are home to me...

...I do not remember you telling me you were a digimon.

More than you know, LH...but at the same time family is always with you. Friends are always with you, I'd think you'd know that from your time with Digimon.

[He smiles a little more easily.]

Every heart is connect, my friend...so long as we don't forget that they're always with us no matter the distance and waiting for the day we're reunited the same as we are.

[He blinks and looks himself up and down...were people just...blind?]

Part Digimon. DarkRyuumon to be exact, thanks to a few accidents with magic that soured my taste for the stuff...but yeah. I am. Wasn't really something I was hiding to be honest, sorry I didn't mention it sooner....

I would never forget my friends or family...never...

But at the same time...I went in there to keep them safe and I lost one of my close friends...

[Sorry dude he didn't have time to catch them all back in the Digital world.]

I did not notice until now...the pony form hid it well.

I...

[He sinks a little again.]

I'm sorry Leatherhead...

[he latches his teeth onto the mug and gnaws on it again. This sucked.]

My powers...the ones I use are all because of my digital form. Manipulating dark energy and shadows...stretching them out like tendrils...nothing works right anymore though.

[He's so sorry Leatherhead.]

Do not apologize...it was beyond your control...

[Enough about his problems, something's wrong with this dude.]

...Crmsn? There is something wrong.

Didn't used to be...

[He looks at Leatherhead worriedly.]

Oh geez, what happened now?

I understand...

[He gives a firm nod.]

It is you...I think there is something happening to you.

[That just gets the once-gator, a strange and confused look.]

Okay you lost...

...do you feel yourself differently?

You said you were eating your cup because you were part digimon...is that not strange?

...uh...I mean apart from actually being in my digimon form right now, I don't think so no. And I always eat things...

You feelin' alright Leatherhead?

No. But that has nothing to do with how you are not a digimon.

Uh...I mean I know I look like one of the usual dragons around here Leatherhead, but I can assure you, I am most certainly a digimon.

...I do not think so.

It is not possible.

Considering that I was in the throws of digivolving when we got pulled back it doesn't surprised me at all.

If you are sure you are a digimon...then I must agree.

This place has a power stranger than I thought.

It is, considering it's already altering our shapes and can't make up its mind...

[He shakes his head.]

Not to mention the kind of ceiling it seems to place over us to keep us here or weaken us...though I'd wager dimes to doughnuts that Calice has a hand in that...

Calice has a hand in all that is here, or so it seems.