mylittlejamjar | A Theory [voice/video]

[Suddenly, there's a voice that goes throughout Ponyville. It's only as strong as a talking voice, but curiously only being heard in the right ear. For those curious enough to open up their scrolls to see what's going on, they would see a white unicorn with red eyes in their visual port. As they did, they would also find that their normal hearing has returned.]

[The message that is being said is the same for both.]

Greetings. Is what I am supposed to say to implicitly suggest that I come as a non-threat. I know this is the first time I have communicated with everypony this way. Do not be alarmed. I will be brief.

I have given the matter of our current circumstances some thought and I have devised two ideas that may be useful to you. As you may not be aware, beyond the reach of your universe there is a deep beyond that is intractable to you. It is a land of perpetual chaos which does not follow any known law save for the beings that reside there. Between these lands of order and chaos there is a narrow ring where the two touch. Consider a bubble; it would be the soapy suds swirling and ready to pop.

The windigo threat was another presence of chaos entering into this world. Our--their kind thrive on the energy of chaos. This Calice is similar as well - a being of chaos consuming into itself those of us she wishes to acquire. Yet we are also seeing many of the rules of order be in observance. Of course we have our Princesses to thank for this in part, but it would seem that the natural inclination of this world itself demands their intervention lest everyone succumbs to the darkness of chaos.

For those of you with the lack of intelligence to follow this locomotive of thought. We are in that narrow band between chaos and order. And it would seem the denizens of chaos has taken quite an interest in unbalancing this world into one that suits them.

If you have any questions about this, I will hear you.

[The voice then comes from everywhere.] Trust. Me.

[The images blinks and stares quietly into the scroll.]

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[He knows that voice too well. He winces and opens it just to write her a request to stop, but that helps. So he'll just leave it open as he quietly takes in the information. But before he can even begin to discuss her theory...there's something more important he needs to address first.]

Ygg---uh, Yg'baladoth?

[He has to reach a bit to remember how to spell her name. He's thinking he's not a nickname-friend with her at the moment, not after...all that.]

Can we talk? With our mouths, I mean. Face to face. If that's all right with you.

[There's a voice that comes from right behind him. Of course, were he to look, she would not be there.]

Yes? What is it?

[The tone is cold and it's sharp. Like the prickling of ice crystals forming.]

[She wants to do it this way? Fine, he'll do it this way. He swallows and steels himself, hoping he sounds a little more confident than he feels.]

It's about all that crap I yelled at you the other day.

[He pauses for a second to see if she's going to kill him first.]

That was all...totally the opposite of what I meant.

Oh?

[That's the only word that she was going to say. The awkward feeling lingering in the air for Strong to stew in.]

[Fine. She'll make him do this the hard way. Grumble grumble.]

You're not a freak. Or, uh, if you want to be, it's only in the best way. You're cool, and I liked hanging out, and maybe this 'supposed to be a bad guy' business was getting to me, but...

I don't want push you away or anything. I was...

[god, he chokes on this word. and the next.]

...wrong. Sorry.

[There's a pause in the stagnation of the air, but it flares up a bit.]

[The voices in the air are multiple and rancorous.]

Why should I care? You think you are more important than you are to me.

[Talk about a blow to the old ego, but he clenches his jaw and continues.]

Because you made me care! I wouldn't have talked it up at the festival with just anybody. I mean, I've got standards. And...I dunno, for a second there I thought maybe we could relate. On our baditude, or...sometimes a lack thereof.

[Unseen, his ears flatten against his head. He looks around---good, he's alone, only she will hear him, so he might as well say it.]

I thought maybe we could do some befriending. Guess not.

[The long sigh there at the end says it all---yeah, he screwed it all and he knows it. He just didn't expect it to hurt this much.]

I do not need you, or anybody! I have never needed anybody! I am Yg'baladoth, the Lingering Murmur! The only reason why I acquiesced to your help was that it was more appropriate than anything I could come up with! I could destroy you just by being!

And yet, you, the one who seemed the most able to show me how to friend... you choose to speak the truth to me! Your truth. Your reality. Then is that what friendship is? To swallow their true selves in order to facilitate commonalities? Then it is foolish! You will perish at the deception of trust! Those that are near you, they aspire for their own selfishness! And when the opportunities to present themselves to live their true expression of self, then we are able to see that their aspirations are no more noble or notable than the most selfish of my kind!

My greatest hatred is to myself, for letting myself believe that you had anything to teach me that I didn't know already!!

[God, they're alike. They are way too much alike. And it's that knowledge that allows him to weather her anger with nothing but a tiny flinch.]

You know what? In a world that made any sense, you'd still be right on the nose. The jerk who pushed you away---that's who I was. I didn't give a crap about nothing or nobody. Live like a king, hang the rules, make fun of lesser beings...that's who I wanted to be. And when I got to Ponyville, I had absolutely no intentions of buying into this friendship crap.

So I did my bad guy thing...as much as I hate to admit it, it didn't go so good. Y'all are a lot harder to rile than some people I know. But then...somehow I met Marty. Japple. You.

Know what hanging with you taught me? That I can be my awesome self and have a friend. Or few. Unbelievably---yeah, I'll admit maybe I'm a little different, but not 'cause I'm pretending to be somebody else. I don't need to. I'm just more awesome with you than without you.

Oh, and one more thing---that iced-up Strong Bad who said that crap? The ice didn't give me nothing back. It's more like it put an icicle-shaped hole of jagged hatred in my brain. But when it melted? It hurt, and not like the brain-freeze kind that goes away after a minute.

If I was still that guy, why should I care if you hate me?

[Those words... were heartfelt and sincere. She knew that. And even before he said those things about the ice did she know that he was not in the right mind.]

[But she was Yg'baladoth. And her pride demanded satisfaction. And the fact that she did not understand these feelings only made her pride scream for vengeance stronger. Anger was what she knew. Vengeance was what she knew. Humility and honesty? Those things... scared her.]

[The air seethed. In fact if it were possible for sound to be hot, it is so now. The energy built higher and higher when suddenly...]

[Everything crashed. And darkness was all around. The world of sound was lost to Strong Bad.]

[The only thing she permitted were her voice, sent to his mind.] If you care so much, prove it to me. Until then my realm will be closed to you. Perhaps then you will learn just whom you are dealing with and the danger I pose.

[And if he was to abandon her, even when he was not of the right mind, she was only right to do the same.]

[If incredible agony and the loss of one of his favorite senses is what this friendship crap gets him...why did he even try, again?

That's what he wants to think, anyway. His instincts scream at him to just hobble off and become one of the world's greatest silent critics, writing scathing screeds wherever he goes.

But he is nothing if not incredibly stubborn when challenged. Like hell is he letting it end this way. And...well, if he never got to hear Marty play again, among other things, that would suck. So he bows his head to hobble off, with a lot to think about in the silence.]

Fine. I'll be back, you'll see.

[There was a throaty chuckle.]

That is all you can do. I, meanwhile, will wait. And listen.

A Theory [voice/video]

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