Seventh Note: Whiskey, Whiskey on the Shelf [Audio - Private]

[tinkertytonk]

[After ascertaining for certain from Princess Celestia that Jeeves hasn't just been spirited away on another espionage mission, Bertie does what any right-thinking man would do: he turns on his scroll, picks out a trio of chums and messages them to ask after getting drunk. Harvey, Flare Star and Dante will do, surely! He tries to keep his voice light and airy, but he might sound more than a touch desperate.]

What ho, chums all! I was wondering if you might not like to join me for something of a bender. Of the jolly juice variety, I mean, not coffee or tea. I'm looking to sink a league or ten into the good stuff, steeping up to the gills and all that. Just thought you might like to join in, what? Always a happy time with one's friends. A good zozzling that is!

Comments

[Audio]

[tinkertytonk]

Whatever you'd like.

[You know how he's usually a doormat, Flare Star? He'll do just about anything you could ask at the moment without so much as a peep of protest. He doesn't have the emotional energy to be affronted.]

[Audio]

[stormbroken]

Don't you dare go making fancy eyes at anyone else until you get your sassy Bittish flank back to him, or I'll make an attempt at showing what you can live through.

[It's a bit brutish, but she means well.]

I know a special somepony when I see one, and I don't want to see you doing any of that stupid rebound crap just because you're down on yourself.

[Audio]

[tinkertytonk]

[He might not have the energy for protest, but confusion, certainly.]

What? Flare, what the deuce are you even talking about? Rebounding on... what?

[Audio]

[stormbroken]

[That gets a small scoff of... well, frustration?... out of the mare. Hard to tell with no visual, not that she seems to mind.]

...Sorry. Keep forgetting you're not up on slang my grandparents didn't use. Gimme a second to figure out how to put this in words you can get.

You and Jeeves were two peas in a pod, thicker than thieves, and so on.

If I catch you trying to date anyone just to try to get your mind off of him, I will get violent.

Better?

[Audio]

[tinkertytonk]

[Did he really seem like the sort of chap to do that? He isn't Bingo Little. But, well, his mind had strayed a bit to some of the other fellows he knew that were a bit nice talk to. Might be nice to hold for a bit when feeling glum and all. Maybe even cuddling with Fluttershy would work now-

No. No, that is not appropriate or preux to be thinking. Jeeves isn't gone three days and Bertie's already contemplating improper and terrible things.]

What kind of stallion do you take me for, Flare?

[There isn't any bite or anger in his voice, just weariness.]

[Audio]

[stormbroken]

A very confused and hurt one prone to boneheaded decisions that fly in the face of common sense.

[Said as straight as possible. She's not trying to accuse him, after all - just laying the cards on the table so that he's not blindsided by an angry mare.]

[Audio]

[tinkertytonk]

[It's not an inaccurate assessment, much as that embarrasses Bertie to admit to himself. He sighs, but again tries to keep his voice light.]

You've got me in one there, old thing. The Woosterly gaze shall stay firmly 'un-fancy,' I can assure you. Shall I meet you at the Decanter, then?

[Audio]

[stormbroken]

Yeah. I'll buy.

[She didn't have MUCH after that stupid auction, but she couldn't not help Bertie out through a rough spot like this.]