mylittlejamjar | [Audio]

No, it's more of a labor of... well, hate, I guess. Maybe other henchmen get paid better though, my boss is kind of a tightwad when it comes to paying for stuff that isn't y'know, stuff that he wants. But man, he's is amazing at being a villain. You should see him when he gets on one of his I-hate-Dr. Venture rants. It's freaking epic.

So... how did you drive cars with hooves? [Because you have to drive through a drive-thru, after all.] And did they sell anything good or just this crappy vegetarian food that they have here?

Man, I dunno. Like I guess it has to be a labor of passion then cause it sounds crazy. You don't get increased danger pay or nothing cause I'm guessing most of what you do has to be dangerous on top of illegal.

[Says the pegasus who helps service a machine used to grind up children for the nefarious purposes of the government. If she bothered to think about it she'd realize how hypocritical she was being, but she's trying to avoid any self-realization on the matter as much as she can.]

...What's a car? That like a cart? Because we pull those, along with vans. Though only creepy weirdos pull vans. And what's wrong with our food? What do you eat that's so much better?

[That's right. They don't have cars, but they do have vans apparently that they can pull behind them. Parody worlds man. They are kind of a hodge podge of things at times.]

Oh yeah, I have totally seen so many henchmen get killed. But it isn't technically illegal. It's sort of a grey area in the law. The Guild does their thing and everyone just turns a blind eye to it.

Wait. What? You know what a van is but you don't know what a car is? How does that... [21 shakes his head. Not that Surprise can see it of course. Still, this libe of conversation is not going to get them anywhere. He needs to find another way to phrase this.]

Okay. Imagine a smaller van that has a machine inside of it that makes it able to move by itself. No horses required. [21 won't go into the whole mechanics of "horsepower" just now.]

...So...it's like a cart with an engine or a generator in it or something?

Like is that cost-efficient or something? I mean we do it for buses but we don't have many of those anyway, but how many ponies they can take is usually seen as worth it. Like how big is it?

Yeah, that's the easiest way to explain it.

Well, it's cost efficient because they're mass produced where I'm from. They vary in size. Like some only hold two people, some hold like... thirty or forty. Maybe more, depending on how many people stand.

Huh.

.....Do you have computers too?

Yeah.

Do they have computers here? Man, the keyboards must be huge.

Not here man. At least I haven't seen any. Like I said its kind of like stepping back in time.

They have them back home. And they have this game for it where you run a farm and grow carrots which I thought was stupid because we do that anyway. But I keep playing it. I mean I will just play it at home for hours.

Just growing these virtual carrots.

I take it MMOs and other grindfests haven't been invented yet. If you think growing virtual carrots is addictive, wait until you're trying to outfit a little avatar of yourself with the best armor and the best weapons so that when the newest expansion comes out you can get even better gear and weapons...

But growing virtual carrots is nice, too. It sounds like it's one of those simple but hypnotic games that you can't help but really like.

Man I don't even know if it's nice or anything anymore. I just know that "carrotcake878" manages to grow 5 virtual carrots more than me per day, and it's pissing me off. I have tried everything to try and compete with them. Virtually water my carrots every day, bought special packs from the online store that's supposed to increase input - seriously I have no clue how many bits I've wasted on this game. One month I was behind on rent because of how many damn virtual carrots I tried to buy.

Sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing I ended up here before I ended up blowing my savings on a computer game.

And then I remember it's not just a game. It's a personal matter by this point.

Maybe there was more than one person playing on that account. Like they were on a team or something. Or they might have had more money than you. But yeah, micro-transactions totally suck.

Sorry to hear that you ended up here before you could get one up on that guy, though.

But hey, who knows? They might show up here. And then you can settle the matter in person.

Man, would it even matter if they did? It's not like I know what they look like.

Maybe it's good I don't have the conveniences of home anyway, you know? Maybe they are evil in their own little ways if I care that much about virtual carrots.

....Though, you know. Tell me more about the "car". Like, what shape is it, what's it made out of, what kind of engine does it use...

Edited 2013-05-28 06:41 (UTC)

Hey, weirder things have happened. Way weirder things.

Uh, well, there are a lot of different shapes. At the very simplest it's like a rectangle. With wheels. It's usually made out of metal. You said you had vans, right? Imagine those but smaller.

They have an internal combustion engine, I guess. My friend would probably know a lot more about that. He had this car, right, and it was totally run down but he managed to keep it running somehow. He probably knows way more about how they work than I do.

Man I'm not saying it's impossible. Far as I know they could even be here already. I just don't know what they look like.

Yeah we have vans, but we don't put engines in them like we do the buses. I don't know why we don't, we just don't.

Huh. Well, if he has time I'd like to talk to him about it I guess. I don't really have much to do and I guess I need...some kind of project to keep my mind off things.

And I'm saying that you might figure it out at some point. Look for a horse with carrots on their ass who doesn't belong here. That's probably a good place to start.

Okay, just hold on a sec.

Edited 2013-05-30 08:32 (UTC)

[not shouting AT Surprise, but someone has yet to turn off whatever recording option there is.]

24! C'mere! Some dude wants to talk to you about cars!

What?

Edited 2013-05-30 09:02 (UTC)

SOME DUDE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT CARS!

Why would-?

[Oh for...

24 gives up and walks over to 21, peering at his scroll.]

I don't see anyone. Are you doing voice or did you decide your scroll was a dude?

[spooky voice]

Ooooooh.

Oh great and mystical scroll, what would you like to know about cars?

[Well you two are just a pair, aren't you?

Surprise is halfway between amused and annoyed especially on the insistence of "dude". Why does everyone here think she's a male?

She's silent. Absolutely so. She wants to know about cars sure. But you know what? She's in a weird humor. Why not mess around with them a little at first, especially if the other one is goin to be this sarcastic.

So just no response. As if no one was there for now.]

[He waits a few seconds for an answer. When there's no response, 24 assumes 21 has just pulled the saddest prank ever.]

Ha ha very funny. You made me talk to your scroll when no one was there.

No, there was someone there. Maybe he hung up on us....

Right. Hung up on us.

I don't know. He was there when I called you over. You might have scared him off.

Why would I scare someone off?

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[Audio] 1/something

[Audio] 2/3 maybe?

[Audio] 3/I've just extended this

[Audio] 4/ So you have to blame 24/Lorie. 24ie?

[Audio] Done/'Tis completely my fault!

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