mylittlejamjar | [Audio]

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Okay, I just noticed that there are pegasii actually controlling the weather. Literally, they are moving clouds around to make it rain and things like that. That is so neat!

So can all horses do that? If I were to fly up there, could I kick the clouds away or make them shoot lightning? Because that would be the coolest thing.

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Okay, well then, it can do everything that Jeeves can do with finances, except like, a billion times faster. And then I want you to imagine all the books you ever seen. Not read, dude, seen. All of those books could fit into one computer. And there's a function that's kind of like these scrolls. Except it's not a scroll, it's in the machine. It does like, almost everything you could want it to be.

Well, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? Everyone's so... accepting. And happy. It's unreal! No one could possibly be as happy as these horses are on a daily basis. It's either drugs or everyone else is a robot.

There's more than one princess? I've only seen the big white one.

You're having me on. Really? By Jove, that sounds amazing! I knew they were getting everything sorted out so that you can get a home television, but that sounds almost impossible. And just the sort of thing my man Jeeves would be onto like hound on a fox. From what all of the other futuristic chappies have been telling me, the world a few decades or so on sounds about as peculiar as Equestria.

I don't see what being happy has to do with all that! Most of the ponies here just seem to have a sunny disposish. Nothing odd about that. I've always had one, too. Awfully glum times if you're looking for the cloud in every silver lining, what?

There are three, as far as I've been told: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight. Rather a theme, there. In any case, Princess Luna's in Canterlot. Princess Twilight lives here in Ponyville, but I haven't had the pleasure of making her acquaintance.

Oh yeah, you can watch television on it too. It's kind of slow and buggy right now, but I'm pretty sure that in a couple of years it'll be worth paying for the subscription to it. Yeah, uh, I'm pretty sure that my time is totally different from yours. I mean like, you guys have just invented planes and cars, right? They're totally common when I'm from. Like almost everyone has at least one car. And planes? Dude, like billions of people have their own private plane. Plus there is like so much more stuff.

You don't think it's weird that everyone is so cheerful all the time? I don't think I've ever seen a single one of these horses frown. At least none of the ponies that were born here. They're all so cheerful that it can't possibly be real!

That seems like an awful lot of princesses. So you've met the other one, the Princess Luna one? Is she like Celestia?

Princess Luna is, well, she's a regal sort and seems to be of a more serious bend than Princess Celestia. I can't say I know either of them well enough to point out anything apart from the physical, though. Princess Luna has dark fur and a mane that looks rather like she's gotten a few stars caught in it.

As for all the rest, I look forward to the future if we can get home. I have a two-seater, but flying? Having a taste of it here, I should very much like to have the chance when I'm a human again! And I'll be a jolly fellow all around. I really think you're looking too much into this business of most ponies being the jolly sort. Equestria seems a lovely place. What would they have to be unhappy about?

What do you mean by stars caught in it? Is that like some old timey way of saying that she's going grey?

Yeah, I don't think flying back in the human world will be quite the same as it is here. But it's still pretty cool.

Ok. I don't know what they have to be unhappy about. You've got me there. But being so cheery all the time just isn't natural.

Er... no. I mean it looks like her hair is the night, and she's sparkling with the light described by many a poet and love-sick sap therein. It's like Princess Celestia has a sort of... pastel rainbow twirling about on top of her head and off her hindquarters.

I suppose flying back home will be more like being one of the Tommys out for the Huns than the plane itself, but I'll take what I can!

You ought to meet my chum Barmy, by the by. One of the happiest bloke I know. Hasn't got but cotton between the ears, but he's a corking fellow and well cheery almost all the time. I think it's probably them putting on a brave face, though, what? They're decent sorts and they wouldn't want to go worrying visitors.

Oh. Seriously? [He's trying to imagine that and it isn't really working. Either this is the coolest looking horse or the worst looking one. But now he really wants to see this mane full of stars.]

Yeah, you lost me at flying back home, dude.

So... you think that all the ponies here are too stupid to get sad? Or they're trying to put on a happy face so we don't get bummed out, or... okay guy, seriously, do you speak English? Because I can only understand like half of the things you say at any given time.

I wouldn't take such a thing lightly. A filly's hair is typically a feature very dear to her. No chap who value his teeth in the proper order would jest.

[Bertie snorts at the mention of language.]

I can assure you, I'm speaking the King's E. But to return to the original intent of this missive, I think I'm needed for a spot of weather.

[He looks off the scroll and waves.]

Just a moment! It's been brilliant talking to you, Gary. Best of luck with everything. I'm sure you'll sort it out before you can say lickety-split.

Yeah, all right, dude. It's been...

[He's got to think about this.]

It's been really interesting talking to you, Bertie. Good luck with your weather thing.

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