Eighth Note: Every Little Thing [Private Visual to All Princess Lunas and Celestias]

[tinkertytonk]

[He'd really only meant to send it to the princesses properly located in Canterlot, but Bertie hadn't been paying that much attention to the auto-search function on his scrolls when he'd named the princesses. The pegasus who appears on the scrolls is looking just a little unhappy, but given the contents of Hoovesweek and the fact that he's got hooves once more, that's probably not too surprising. Once he realizes he's actually recording this time, he quickly draws himself up, expression going to nervous before he settles on a bracing smile.]

Hallo, hallo, hallo, princesses, all! I just wanted to say, 'hallo,' and... and all that. [Yes, moving on.] Hoovesweek's a rather wretched sort of paper, but I did note one of the articles discussing the Grand Galloping Gala. Seems only yesterday we were hieing forth in our finest to Canterlot to sing and dance and do as you do at these sorts of soirees. Frightful lot of work must go into the whole affair.

[Now they're coming to the beating heart of the matter.]

I'd, um... well, I mean I know you're awfully busy. I was head of the Drones Club Dining Committee back in London, and I just thought: 'If you can manage to sort out dinner and entertainment for about 50 of the lads, young Bertram, why not a whole stable-ful of behooved birds and beazels?'

What I mean to say is, if you need any help, I'd really like to. Help, that is! With the Gala. Harvey and I can do the music again, or I'm sure I can get someone else through his agent if you're wanting a touch of variety!

Comments

[pirateponyprincess]

I was taken away from Equestria by a similar phenomenon that brought you all here, yes. I have been absent for a little over three centuries, at this point.

[tinkertytonk]

I'm sorry, Captain. [The stallion frowns sympathetically.] Frightfully long spell to be away from the native shores. I'm sure Princess Luna and everypony else are taking care of things in your stead.

[pirateponyprincess]

I have all confidence that Luna will be able to handle things in my stead. Just in case, however, I do aim to return close to the time I left, to spare her the stress.

[tinkertytonk]

You can choose which time you return? [Bertie cocked his head in confusion.] I didn't think we got a say in the matter.

[pirateponyprincess]

Normally, no, but I do know travel through time is possible, and I intend to figure it out.

[tinkertytonk]

Have you talked to the Doctor, then? Or Andrew? They'll be the ones who know the most about it. They're, well, they're both sort of Time Lords. [He isn't wholly sure if Andrew wants it put about that he's a copy of the Doctor.]

[pirateponyprincess]

Only 'sort of'? Regardless, I will talk to them when I get the chance, thank you.

[tinkertytonk]

Ah... that's something you'll want to ask Andrew about, madam. 'Mum's the word, you know? Well, you know now. It's nothing bad! Just a little odd. I suppose you'd be used to oddities... where you were. Where have you been, may I ask? You said you're a space pirate? Are they much like regular pirates?

[pirateponyprincess]

It may be more accurate to say where I haven't been. I and my crew have been traveling the universe, trying to find our homes. The piracy is just a thing we use to fund our travels; more lucrative and straightforward than having to deal with merchant laws in every system we come across.

[tinkertytonk]

[That's wholly more mercenary than he would ever have pegged Princess Celestia for, but pirates are called 'scallywags' for a reason.]

All the worlds your crew are from are in the same universe, then? Not different ones? Were there humans in your crew? [His eyes widen. A universe where Equestria and Earth might be able to interact is a very odd thought, indeed.]

[pirateponyprincess]

No, we were all from a variety of different universes; the system we were using could potentially travel between them, but it is rather unreliable, even at the best of times. Nonetheless, I did have a few humans as a part of my crew for a while.

[tinkertytonk]

[He wilts a little bit at the news. But wait... something that could travel between universes?]

What was it helping you go between universes? The Doctor said he had a ship called the TARDIS that got him about time and space.

[pirateponyprincess]

It's a special sort of drive that runs off of improbability. Very useful, and rather powerful, but comes with side effects.

[tinkertytonk]

[A pause followed by a somewhat wary look.] Side effects? Nothing too grim, I hope?

[pirateponyprincess]

It is highly variable. Sometimes it is quite fun, other times a detriment to productivity. Nothing is ever permanent, however.

[tinkertytonk]

[That doesn't actually tell him much about the nature of the side effects, but Bertie doesn't press.] Glad to hear it, old thing! We've had a few odd things happen, but I think they've mostly been that blighter Discord mucking about. Half the ponies here got turned into fillies or frightfully old nags for a bit. Your counterpart was a something of a firebrand in her younger days from what we saw.

[There's an implied question of 'and are you?' Bertie doesn't ask it directly, though.]

[pirateponyprincess]

I have experienced those sorts of things before, as well. Discord may have gotten the idea from it.

[Because you never know what he knows.]

Yes, I was a bit... rebellious as a young mare. My apologies that you all had to deal with it.

[tinkertytonk]

[Bertie's just relieved that he got to stay his proper age. Dealing with the others as kids had been embarrassing enough.]

Oh, it's no trouble! Well, I mean, I think I heard she got thrown in lock-up for a bit, but who hasn't been, really? I daresay it's a rite of passage in one's youth, what?

[pirateponyprincess]

Jail? I'm disappointed. Actually managed to get caught.

[tinkertytonk]

It was younger days for you, old thing. Allowances have got to be made. I think I must have spent every Saturday night in the local chokey when I was in college. [Now it's only every month or so.] I'm given to understand Dante might have had a claw in it, too, the fiend. [He says this with a fond smile.] I'm sure he had something to do with your counterpart getting caught.

[pirateponyprincess]

If you're getting caught, then you just aren't doing it good enough. The real fun comes in running from the authorities, especially when they have missiles.

[This is what happens when you relieve Celestia of royal duties.]

[tinkertytonk]

[Well, she certainly sounds like a fun girl to be out and about carousing with. Wait. Missiles?]

Ahah... I've only had to worry about guns, myself. And bobby sticks. Rather unpleasant when they do hit you. I don't suppose you've ever fallen into fell hooves in your adventures?

[pirateponyprincess]

Oh, yes, my crew and I have gotten into all sorts of trouble. We've never actually been caught, however. You would be surprised how easy it is to bribe the police if you know where to go.

[tinkertytonk]

You can bribe the police? [Bertie's eyes widen. They'd never bothered to take him up on his offer of a five pound note when they'd been wheeling him off to the docket. Probably his being hungover hadn't helped with clarity on the exchange.] Oh, I say! How? Where do you go, Captain?

[This is vital information for his everyday life, Captain Celestia!]

[pirateponyprincess]

It depends on the police. I would not try it here; as the local authorities are far more disciplined than that. Additionally, if you plan to do such a thing, it is a good idea to not stick around in that area for too much longer. A bribe will buy you time, but it will not let you get off free. You have to run yourself.

[Spoken very much from experience.]

I've been all over the universe, going wherever the Drive takes me, trying to find some clue of lost worlds. We simply fund our journey by taking from less-than-ideal governments and corporations; things that will not be missed or were never deserved in the first place.