Visual

[hattrickery]

When the scroll turns on, it shows Hayate, sitting in her cloud shack and looking thoughtful, her wings rustling in contemplation.

"So, uh...today I realized something. It's been eight months since I showed up here, you know? And in all that time, I haven't died once. This is the longest I've ever gone without getting killed!"

Her wings shudder briefly before fully extending.

"It's actually kind of weird, really, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Like, what if I get out of the habit? I mean...I'd have to relearn how to fight and everything! So, uh...anyone got any good tips? Where can a girl go to get killed around here?"

...uh-huh.

Comments

[visual]

[tinkertytonk]

"M-Ms. Hayate, I can assure you, getting killed here isn't pleasant in the slightest." In fact, Bertie would have to rate it at the top of his list for Things Not To Do In Equestria. "You really don't need to practice it."

[toosmarttodie]

The brainwashing's supposed to make me feel better?

[Visual]

[thepoweroflove]

What.

[Marty's just... staring at the scroll a little before responding.]

Why the heck would you want to be killed?

[mechmadeoflove]

"You gotta understand, reliable rez magic is RARE here and where I'm from. Death is kind of a huge deal for us."

[mithrarin]

You really ought to reconsider that. There aren't any save points here.

[polyturtle]

Wh-no its not!

[rabbitheartedfox]

Well... Yes? If you die, you can't see your friends any more, or do any of the other things you like. You're just... put away, forever. Why would you want that?

[hattrickery]

"Well, what makes you happy?"

[hattrickery]

"...because it's...not forever?"

[hattrickery]

Hayate actually looks a little irritated now.

"I'm sorry, which one of us has a free ticket to the divine realm of the Almighty from which the entirety of creation was crafted? People do not die from violence. This is an AXIOMATIC TRUTH written on the very fabric of the universe!"

She pauses slightly to preen her wings in what looks like a ritual to calm down.

"...sorry for snapping at you, but all this negativity is really starting to wear me down."

[hattrickery]

"Thank you for actually bothering to explain, then! You're...Joshua, right?"

[mechmadeoflove]

"Sure. Joshua Preston, ex-human, ANIMa Pilot. That's what the winged heart on my butt says, anyway."

He demonstrates. He does indeed have a winged cartoon heart for a Cutie Mark.

[hattrickery]

Hayate actually considers her reply, since Bertie is her friend and all.

"It's just...I'm getting rusty, Bertie. I mean, in the past, I've died up to eight times in a single day in order to put down a threat, and now I'm worried that if something that needs that kind of dedication out of me comes along I might not be able to respond."

A pause as she ruffles her wings uncomfortably.

"...and if that happens, I'm basically failing you and everyone else in Ponyville."

[hattrickery]

"Practice. Gotta keep my hoof in!"

[hattrickery]

Hayate's eyes go wide as she considers that.

"...you know, I think you might be right? I can't remember seeing a church anywhere."

[hattrickery]

"I'm Hayate, Guardian Angel for Ponyville and the Night Market!"

A pause as she shifts her flank to reveal her own Cutie Mark of a winged shield with halo.

[tinkertytonk]

She seems so serious. Bertie can't imagine going through what Mechakara had done eight times in a day. It defies all logic and reason and decency. But her earnest response isn't one he can brush away lightly.

"My dear girl, I have full faith in you that, should the moment arise, you will put your life to the hazard without a single thought to your own well-being." Much to her detriment, in his opinion. "But don't... don't cheapen that. You said you've died taking out threats. What good is it to die for nothing? That's not really what you'd be doing."

[kungfublackfrog]

How about try not to get yourself killed?

[toosmarttodie]

Highly dangerous weaponry.

[Said in all earnest.]

[rabbitheartedfox]

What do you mean it's not forever?

All the morphs from my protect died and they're never going to wake up. Ever.

[polyturtle]

[Don might be shaking, just a little bit at this, even as he folds his arms. He might also be glaring, before turning away and closing his eyes.

Just a little.

Because did you seriously. Just say that.]

Lucky for you, I suppose.

Not everypony has that luxury.

[Translation: "I really shouldn't be continuing this conversation, especially after that, because that is just going to lead to bad places! In fact, I don't know why I didn't turn this off five minutes ago! But on the other hand, I don't know how the shell to respond to you after saying that people don't die from violence for....reasons. Terrible, terrible reasons.


...I'm five seconds away from punching something!"]

[hattrickery]

Hayate thinks about that for a while, her wings extending and folding back idly as she does.

"...I guess all I'd really get out of it was length of time until revival, huh?"

[hattrickery]

"That...doesn't make sense, though? People don't stay dead from violence."

[rabbitheartedfox]

But... [Mani flounders for a second, those morphs didn't die from Violence, but she does have another example to draw on.]

Yes they do, that's why Humans made morphs, so humans wouldn't die in combat so much.

[hattrickery]

Hayate's response is instant.

"Think you could make me a bow and arrow that don't need fingers to operate?"