We Went To the Land Of the Ice and Snow

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[The scroll flickers on to show nothing but white. Distantly, beneath a blowing wind, the sounds of whirling propellers and hard work press faintly through. Then crunching -- the unmistakable sound of hooves compressing snow.]

Aww, crap.

[The viewpoint jerks up to reveal the Overlord, snow spotting his coat but not his fiery mane, as he stands in the midst of a swirling blizzard. In the distance, barely visible, his minion horde marches off the airship he'd long ago stolen for Talk Like A Pirate Day and... neglected to return.]

Who the hell designs a magic scroll that's so easy to accidentally turn on?

Hmph. Looks like the cat's out of the bag. [Smirking, the Overlord sweeps a hoof out as he turns the scroll to reveal great mounds of snow lumping up across an otherwise featureless plain. Closer inspection shows that these lumps are in fact ruins, crumbled buildings in various states of decay.]

Stalliongrad. The site of an ancient battle between ponies and windigos, and if Princess Celestia's dreams are anything to go on, the Frozen Fire of Friendship just might be here somewhere. Once I find it, I'll have all the power of ice and snow that the windigos have... and then Equestria will either be mine, or a frozen hell of ponies in ice blocks, trapped and wishing their Princesses had surrendered instead of condemning them! Hyaaa ha ha ha ha!

[Zetta flicks his tail at the scroll as he turns to match towards the ruins, shutting it off.]

Comments

[badassfreakingoverlord]

What, are you kidding? Just look at it. Name one other non-Princess pony who even HAS an animated mane and tail. Just having one alone is evidence of my power and awesome might!

[fckingcazadors]

Alright, fine, it looks unique. But the thing is that animated hair really isn't impressive or intimidating.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Of course it is! It's a symbol of how much power the pony in question has. This mane is pony shortcut for "can kick your ass handily"!

[fckingcazadors]

*Alex opens his mouth to protest but stops. For all he knows that's REALLY how it works for this place.*

Then why haven't you taken over already?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I've been holding back. If I just went in and beat up Princess Celestia, everyone would say it was because she was distracted by the Pale Pony and all the problems Equestria has.

[fckingcazadors]

The what?

So why now, wouldn't you still get people giving you the same excuses as to why you still suck?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

It's a completely different conquest mechanism. Extortion plays under different rules than overthrow.

[It clearly makes sense to Zetta, at least.]

[fckingcazadors]

I'm not really sure that it is, either way power is still being transfered due to a threat.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

No, in the first one power is transferred because of the violent defeat of the current ruler. Totally different.

[fckingcazadors]

You're right. This way is a lot less fun.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hey, I agree with you there. Blame all the ponies who seem to believe that an evil Overlord with standards and a certain amount of dignity for the position isn't actually evil and can be taken lightly.

[fckingcazadors]

*Alex considers for a few moments.*

For what its worth, I think that tends to make them more evil.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Well, at least that's one of you. Around here, general consensus is if you're not doing villainy 24/7, you're a 'decent pony'.

[fckingcazadors]

Some of the least decent people I know were best at hiding it.

*Or making people think it was somehow a good thing.*

I'm still going to have to stop you, though. I can't stand the cold.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Don't worry. The Princesses will have enough sense to step down rather than let me freeze everything.

[fckingcazadors]

We'll just have to see how it goes.