mylittlejamjar | Stitch Nine

[Hey, it's this guy again. He'd traded an acoustic guitar for electric, and for a moment he's strumming a note or two to test the richness of the sound. It's just right. Well, he's clearly about to do a little ditty for everyone, but what on earth for? Was this another accident, an entry meant for someone? Don't want a song? You're welcome to close the scroll. He won't blame ya.]

[Still here? Cool. Thanks. But something's not right. Kanji does not look happy. And when he begins... he just sounds angry. Here goes.]

I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break, holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use

I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose

My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose
My head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose

I swear I'll never give in, I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

[A short break here. He's focused on the guitar, having practiced every day. But the strums are hard, the sound of someone trying their goddamned hardest not to quit in the middle. He'd come this far.]

Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession, my friend... I'm no fool.
I'm getting tired of starting again, somewhere new.

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse.

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

[The song demands a wail and he gives one in spades, hammering out the final notes before he grit his teeth. If he keeps this up he might wreck the poor instrument...]

[Then, he stops. He looks away from the 'camera', took a breath, and sets the guitar down a little less than gently- the amp makes a brief and terrible sound from the impact vibrations over the strings, and Kanji simply walks out of the frame. The feed dies a moment later.]

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'Bout as well as you'd expect, Senpai... [Voice is kinda tight.]

But I'll get through it. Eventually.

...

[Please excuse Souji's slight blush there. He's just... kinda overwhelmed sometimes by Kanji's ... kindness? Strength? He knew who that song was for, and yet in the same breath Kanji could still call him 'senpai'.]

[It meant more to Souji than he could say.]

Yeah.

[He started to get things organized, get out the bowls and things he'd need. He'd been pretty Diligent about getting the hang of this body since coming here, especially after seeing both Kanji and Shinjiro could both cook amazingly well despite their current forms. He wasn't about to be left behind.]

If you want to talk about it, we can talk about it. If you rather let the song speak for itself, that's alright too. It's your choice, okay?

Yeah... thanks.

I guess I need to figure out how to get this brain scramble into words that make sense outside of it, too.

The song helped. But I feel like if I tried sayin' it out loud I'd just start growling or somethin'.

Well, it's okay if you do. But I think growling works better for Teddie right now than either of us.

[How to word this...]

I've been thinking a lot myself, about things. I don't want to get navel gazey but, being here has put things in a weird sort of perspective.

[Okay, pre-heat the oven to 180 C, then get the sause pan out-- measure out the sugar, and get the water ready...]

...Whadda you mean...?

[His ears lifted, and he's curious as to what the heck he's doing. Water and sugar in a pan? Did he just feel like making rock candy or something?]

Well... a lot about choices.

[He started to put the water and sugar into the sause pan, turning on the burner and slowly letting it heat up-- using his hoof to swirl it around now and again, letting the sugar slowly melt. When he wasn't doing that, he used another pot to warm up the milk.]

I guess... the big thing is, no matter how much I wish it wasn't true...

[Another swirl of the pan...]

I have to face the fact that if Narukami is another 'me', I have the potiential of making a choice as destructive as he did.

[There was a brief pause, and Souji chuckled halfheartedly]

Unless I take the easy way out and blame it on his dad's genes or something.

[He must've gotten his looks from his mom's side of the family, obviously.]

But... like a few people have told me, and what you all showed me before, is that it all comes down to choice. What we chose to be defines us more than anything else. So even if that potiential exists within me...

[He looked up at Kanji, that determination, that unwavering resolve-- it was a light in his eyes again, and he nodded firmly.]

I'm never going to let it be anything more then that. And I won't let his destructive and dumbass choices weigh me down anymore. I'm not him, as... odd as that sounds. We come from the same place, maybe, but I chose and will continue to chose to never follow down a path like his. No shortcuts, no shutting you guys out, no running away and not facing my problems head on. That's a promise I'm making to myself-- and to you all too, right now.

[His expression softened a little, and his attention moved back to the stove. Okay, the water was starting to change colour now... not quite to where it had to be, though. Swirl swirl...]

And I know I've said this before, but... I need to thank you. You didn't have to take a chance on me. You had every right to turn your back or... well, punch me out after what you went through.

[Okay, milk is hot enough... turn down the temperature so it just stays even and doesn't boil.]

But... you didn't. You gave me a chance. Even with all that justified anger, even with that potiential inside me, you still reached out to me. And not only that-- you vouched for me, even when you knew it could cause problems. You've been looking after me when I was as defenceless as... well. [He chuckled softly] A newborn foal, I guess, and even after that.

[Changing colour nicely now... good thing he had the ramekin's ready. Even so, he was a little sheepish as he looked up to Kanji, and then bowed his head.]

So... thank you. I won't waste this chance you gave me.

Edited 2015-06-01 10:55 (UTC)

[It was a lot to take in, and deep down he was relieved that the guy seemed aware that this was proof that there was a possibility he could screw up like Narukami did. He only nodded; that was part of why he was being kept here- so he could make the initial judgment call.]

You better not, dude. ...I can't deal with shit like that again.

[But he sniffed the air. He smelled vanilla and he smelled caramel. It'd been so long since he smelled that combo; it reminded him of days spent sitting on the school rooftop and his heart ached.]

...Why're you makin' all that?

[He couldn't help but think in the back of his mind that he was being bought. He knew custard cooking when he smelled it, and he could never forget caramel. So... why?]

And I don't want you to have to deal with it again.

[At Kanji's next question, he... sort of felt even more sheepish. Ducking his head a little, as he got the caramel to that perfect colour and removed the sause pan from the stove, carefully pouring them into the ramekin.]

Because it's your favorite, right?

[Okay, time to mix the sugar and vanilla into the milk--]

I can't do much right now, Kanji... I know that. I know my voice and face is like Narukami's, and that's enough sometimes to make things... uncomfortable.

[He's seen those double takes, those half starts before Kanji remembers, see's the horn, remember it's Souji Seta, not Yu Narukami. It's painful, but he knows his kouhai can't help it.]

Cooking and baking... I learned how to do it because my parents were gone so much, and I got sick of eating premade, instant things. But I never realised just how lonely it was to cook and eat only for yourself until I started making lunch for you all.

[He smiled, though it was almost... wistful. Aching for days gone by and days hopefully to come, all at once.]

Those were some of my favorite memories. And you always seemed so happy whenever I brought along something you'd like, so... I wanted to give you this, at the very least.

I remember the you from my time tellin' me the folks were out a lot for work... I guess some things don't change no matter what timeline ya slice.

[He tried a small smile.]

But it does feel good to whip up a ton of stuff and share it with your friends. Uh- that's... that's a lotta custard though, ain't it?

I mean, no sweat, I could eat it all... but, y'know.

Stitch Nine - [Visual]

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