[Is that... Zetta's voice, sounding out over a low roar of water? Is he singing?!]

Divide me down to the smallest I can be!
Put your, put your venom in me!

[...yep. When she nudges the scroll through the bathroom door, there's the Overlord standing beneath the shower head, water cascading down on him as he flails at the air as if playing a keyboard. It's not particularly scandalous thanks to the whole pony body, but it IS ridiculous. Also he's levitating a scrub brush for a microphone.]

I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle
Oh, oh, I keep you like an oath
May nothing but death do us part!

[No more keyboard flailing, at least. The Overlord stomps his back hooves and one front one to the beat, sending water and mana power splashing everywhere as he takes a moment to scrub his back. But just a moment, because he's gotta go back to hamming it up.]>

She wants to dance like Princess Cadence
Bury me till I confess
She wants to dance like Princess Cadence
And I can't get you out of my head

The blood, the blood, the blood of the lamb
It's worth two lions, but here I am
And I slept in last night's clothes and tomorrow's dreams
But they're not quite what they seem

[Oh look, he's rocking out on air keyboard again.]

I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle
Oh, oh, I keep you like an oath
May nothing but death do us part

[Back to stomping along to the beat as he turns off the water, then tosses his head back to fluff out his fiery mane. On his last three stomps he lifts his foreleg, then better to pump it to the chanting.]

You'll find your way
And may death find you alive
Take me down the line
The Crystal Empire turns the tide
You'll find your way
And may death find you alive
Take me down the line
In Ponyville we'll turn the tide!

[The Overlord flings his forelegs open, creating the magical illusion of two keyboards with their keys desperately bouncing.]

She wants to dance like Princess Cadence
Bury me till I confess
She wants to dance like Princess Cadence
And I can't get you out of my head!

[Wrapping one hoof around his wayward scrub brush, Zetta leans over it to bellow.]

I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle
Oh, oh, I keep you like an oath
May nothing but death do us part!

I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle
Oh, oh, I keep you like an oath
May nothing but death do us part!

[Bathed and clean, there's only one thing to do: Zetta ends the song on a massive air drum solo and Rarity is desperately trying not to laugh her flank off at the utter ridiculousness she's witnessing. ]

[Zetta has no investment in the farm. Zetta really has no bond or attachment to the place. So the alicorn merely taps his scroll thoughtfully as he brings it on, looking into it.]

Far be it from me to meddle in the affairs of private citizens, subjects of mine though they might be. But a bid isn't a purchase, you know.

No owner would turn down a higher offer if one came along.

Okay, somepony tell me something:

Did anyone remember to set up a deed to the Commune or did everypony decide to set up shop without thinking of that?

[Who's this pony? His face certainly isn't familiar...at least, not without that trademark black mask. But the voice, lower and flatter than it's ever sounded, is definitely Strong Bad's. Yes, apparently that's him, but he won't even look at the scroll directly.]

Lemme make one thing crystal-clear: I never want to hear a word about friendship again. At least not where I'm concerned.

I'm nobody's friend. Been there, tried it...and ended up being the bad guy anyway, so I'm thinking life's trying to tell me to stick to what I know. We're all be much happier pony-people this way, and that's just how it's gonna have to be.

So, uh...I hate you. I guess.

Attention, a new phenomenon has been observed within the Everfree forest. Various caves within the area are showing a very unusual kind of sound magic. Presumably this may have something to do with one of the various encounters there. Most of the local animals seem keen to know which ones they are and have already learned to avoid them.

Those interested may enter if they wish. I have been able to identify five of them, each possessing it's own unique tone, as wind pushing past a open hole. The magic within, however, is very real and exceedingly dangerous. You may be expected to encounter voices, be inundated with sound, or perhaps even pressed back with forcible energy. Furthermore, this phenomenon appears to be random. Do not be surprised if there is no monsters within nor rewards for completion.

That being said, I would not be surprised if several parties seek to explore them anyway.

[private audio to the people she likes.]

I made a home for myself. It can be found within the Everfree Forest. If you are interested in it's location, let me know. And I can make it safe for you to traverse. The other five are decoys that I have made. Do not go there.

Alright everyone. Quick question. Since Mom and I are going to head back into Tartarus sometime in the near future, who wants to join in? We know some people are already coming in.

[Fluttershy opens her scroll. She looks a little urgent and a tiny bit ashamed.]

Omigoodness, with all that's been going on, we forgot about this! The Princesses have been saved from Tartarus! Me, Fluttercruel, and some others went into Tartarus to rescue them, and with the help of a unicorn named Alicantor, we, um... made sure that the creature that was trying to attack them didn't hurt Princesses Celestia, Cadance, and Luna.

So, um... just so you know they're safe now.

[She kind of... sits there awkwardly for a couple seconds before rolling the scroll up.]

[It's been one hell of a battle against Tirek so far, and there has been a lot of people who once had power, and even just were strong physically, that are now without that, and even without that, their cutie marks are gone; for many, the power was part of their identities, and so after seeing many scared to stand up to Tirek, whether in battle or in spirit, Nephenee decides to try to raise eveyone's hopes...and simultaneously show their enemy that they won't back down.]

[So, before some of them travel into Tartarus, the Sentinel makes two posts: one locked from the centaur...and one decidedly not.]

( Visual, locked from Tirek )

( Unlocked, viewable to EVERYONE )

[Zetta seems completely unconcerned as he lounges in his throne, waving a hoof casually at the scroll.]

So somebody blabbed my plans already, but that minion-mimicking minx got the basics in one. You guys are losing power left and right, but I -- I, Zetta, the most badass freaking Overlord in the entire cosmos -- have it to spare!

So, how can you get a piece of my might? A slice of mana power all your own? [Zetta rubs his forehooves together in delight.] You join my team, of course. Become my loyal minion and I'll give you power. Add it to your own or replace what you lost, I don't care.

...Seriously, you guys haven't stopped this weirdo yet? You're slipping. Anyway, offer's good starting now!

[The scroll turns on. Sailor Venus is transformed, and ready to fight. However, she's currently bent low, in a corner somewhere, and her voice is low.]

Hey, everypony, I just want to give you a heads-up. Zetta is going to try and take advantage of the situation by offering ponies a small bit of power to fight off Tirek, especially if they've lost their power. But the twist is, if you do so, you have to swear to be his minion! That means he's...he's going to...

[She trails off, and is silent for the moment. Finally, she lets out a frustrated sigh.]

I don't know anymore...he's evil. Zetta's evil. Heck, he's caused so much of a ruckus. And its my duty to stop evildoers, my destiny. But I don't want Tirek to be in charge either, now that the princesses are gone. Tirek's a monster. And...I feel like I've failed.

[She slowly stands.]

They...they say better the devil you know than the one you don't. If...you guys really want to take Zetta's offer when he gives it to you...I won't stop you. I guess I can't, now.

I--

[And then the door opens.]

Ah-!

HEY! Who are you and what did you do with that hot but mysterious blonde minion that I don't remember making and that keeps randomly coming and going from my castle and who otherwise looks just like you!? SHE SAID SHE'D BE RIGHT BACK WITH MY PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH AND THAT WAS THIRTY MINUTES AGO!! I'M GETTING HUNGRY, DAMNIT!!

...Wait a second...

Gotta go--!

[DONE.]

[Hey, guys, it's Minako! And she's got some film reels in her hooves along with a smile on her face.

Hoo boy.]

So, everypony. You all remember that movie that came out earlier this year that we were kind of blackmailed into going to see? Weeeell...

[Turning the reel around to reveal that it is, indeed, Quest to Canterlot.]

...I got tons of copies of the full movie for practical peanuts! Some of them original prints from the theaters, even! And I know just what we can do with them! Back on the Satellite of Love, Mike and his robot friends used to riff really bad films because the Mads made them. So I'm thinking...let's riff this movie! And not just do it in Ponyville...let's do it in Manehattan, Vanhoover, Los Pegasus, Fillydelphia...all over Equestria, different ponies riffing on it, at the same time! So everypony can have a chance to see we're not all psychotic criminals!

[Hoofraise!]

And all the proceeds of our simultaneous riff goes to the newpony fund! YEAH!

[...Cricket.]

Oh, yeah, on a completely unrelated note. Skyfire's doing a garage sale...um, you should check it out. He has a lot of stuff he would be totally ok with selling you. Yup.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF ROTTENNESS IS GOING ON HERE!? Why am I not in my house? WHY am I a walrus? WHY!? WHY!!

[The volume from the scroll intensifies with that shout and you could feel the magic parchment shaking in your hooves. A great big, red walrus pops up on the visuals, perfectly livid.]

Whoever's responsible for entrapping and locking down the great Dr. Rrrrrrobotnik in this despicably decorated dimension will have quite a lot to answer to! And I'll get my answers, even if I have to strangle it out of every last creature around here!

[He gives that some thought and smiles an evil grin. No, he'd do that anyway, answers or not. Sounds like a rip-roaring way to spend an evening. But he shakes that off, resuming his angry tirade.]

Regardless of whether or not I can make it back home today, this indiscretion has entitled me to one omelet. My breakfast is ruined and I'm holding that against everyone.

[And there's a picture of a quite disgruntled Lyrical Twilight and she looks like the type whose going to go feral on someone.]

I'm back, I'm hungry and I am quite angry.

Yayoi - either one - I'm gonna need food. Lots of it. I need my strength back for what I'm gonna do.

Everyone else, if you got magic - any kind, natural or given - please, let me know so I can figure out how much I need. I'm going to find a way to bust into Calice's realm and free Fluttershy. I messed up once because Fluttershy got in trouble. I wll not let that happen again. And those of you who are going to tell me that I should wait and "trust in Fluttershy" can just go... go... buck yourselves! Friends don't abandon friends and friends don't hope that some entity that's wanting to destroy all of reality will just spit her out one day!

And if you're going to tell me that, save your breath. You're of no help to me.

[Good afternoon folks! It's everybody favorite... oh... it's her. Clearly she's up to a deep profound philosophical discussion of everybody's current situation.]

Hello everybody.

I just wanted to tell you today: I find you all adorable.

That is all.

Guys guys guys! I was walking down to the store, and suddenly, I felt a sudden spike of heat in my body! I was all flush and hot, my chest was all aglow, and I realized it meant one of two things.

Heartburn, or one of us is getting married~~!!

[Somepony is super super excited about this.]

And I am never wrong when it comes to these things, so--come on, you lovebirds! Spill it! You know you want to~♥

[OOC Note: This takes place after his scuffle with Dark Cure Spring, which take place after the threads with DDD!Tails and The Flutters as well.]

[The scrolls open, but it's unclear who's opened them yet - it seems the view is showing the sky, and the weather, and after a few seconds, the view finally comes back to the older/3G!Tails. He has puncture wounds across his body, and he seems to be flying fairly erratically... and he, as one might expect, doesn't look happy. His breathing is also a little heavy, due to both his wounds and the weather he's flying in.]

Don't know... what's going on with the weather and all these hostilities... but something else has happened...

Coco... she's turned pretty mean... and she even used her Pinky Catch and transformed... but her form looked corrupted more than anything... I tried to stall her, but there was no way... I could find help or do anything with her there... so I flew away... so she wouldn't be able to catch up to me.

Does anyone know... how to turn her back...? [He isn't even asking for help for himself... he's just flying for the nearest shelter he can rest in. But he certainly wouldn't say no to some healing. And probably being yelled at by at least somepony for flying in this insane weather, even with a warm outfit on.]

[Heyo, its Minako. And she looks very. Un. Happy.]

Ok, what's this bull about me stealing things from the Stalliongrad site!? I'm going to put it on the official record that no, the books I brought home were not stolen! Is this Hoovesweek's doing again!? If it is, so help me--

[She lets out a growl.]

The ponies excavating the site know I brought them home and why - and also that we might be bringing other items home for research! Besides, it's not just me you're making look bad, you're making everypony else up here look incompetent for "letting me get away with it"! Me and a bunch of others have been working our flanks off to preserve and learn about this place, and we're not about to go compromising that, got it!?

It's been several days since...The Event, and Terra is no closer to understanding it now than she was then. So she's decided to seek the wisdom of the emotionally normal people on the scroll network. Once she's switched it on and made sure Dust can't see it, she takes a deep breath and launches into a clearly rehearsed speech.

"Hello. I need help figuring something out. What does it mean when someone touches you and your heart starts beating fast and it's not because you're about to get in a fight?"

There's a slight pause as she goes over the second half of the speech.

"I would appreciate an answer, please."