mylittlejamjar | a probablo (text)

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a probablo (text)

You ever ask yourself why the crap you're still here? Because I do. Seems like just about everybody I fell into caring about got a golden ticket back home in the last few weeks, leaving me here. To carry on the awesomeness by my lonesome. And with very little in the way of morality-minded compadres to hold me back, I thought about re-igniting a reign of terror the likes of which you've never seen before. But in my case, 'terror' would just mean rolling barrels in the middle of the walkway or tracking mud places. I mean...I'm just about back to square one with the whole making friends thing, so it's like: where do I go from here? It's kinda like a video game. Or a board game. That ridiculous game of Life where I keep rolling the janitor piece---that calls for a good ol' table flipping. So you've got the good guy path, the bad guy path, I beat both and now I'm starting over again. And I never thought it'd come to this, I gotta say: the friend path's looking better. I wouldn't miss everybody this much if it didn't mean something to me, I guess. Maybe I don't know y'all as well as I should, but I do know I'm not the only one back on Level 1. And there's nothing sadder than a bunch of Strong Sads moping around. Uh. Not that I was doing that or anything. So---y'all have got no reason to trust me, or even begin to like me, but. My door's open. Especially if you like wrestling, rock, video games, baking, or some combination of the above. Or I'll try just about anything at this point. ...except talking. My lips are sealed 'til we do something about this poison joke thing. Don't ask.

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[Donna is also suffering the Poison Joke. Specifically she's suffering it with a green, mangy-looking mane rather than her usually red and neat coif. Tough times, indeed. She'll survive it. Grudgingly. And just stay in the house until someone finds a cure.]

It does seem like there're more going. Do you think it's maybe Twilight pulling as many people as she can while she can? Nicer to think that way...

[She's quiet for a moment.]

So, I've got to ask: How d'you manage wrestling and baking at the same time?

[Hey, if he's looking for friends, they might as well start off with some humor.]

[Because he's not switching to audio when he sounds like his tongue's taken over his entire mouth, no way]

Sounds about right. But...she'd better wait a bit before she takes me. There's still something I've gotta do. And---can't say I've done it at the same time, but I figure you can use a pile-drive to knead the dough. Then you fling it into the oven while you're grabbing on...and if you turn up the heat, it'll be done by the time you win the belt.

[Because she's not switching to text when she has to write with her mouth, thanks.]

What's that, then? Not sure if we can actually get any messages to her with Jappleack gone. Or... maybe the people who're taken remember for a bit what's going on?

[Donna's not entirely sure, but now she's wondering. There's not really a good way to test it given how random some of the disappearances seem to be.]

That's still sounds, like, seriously dangerous. What if you knocked over the oven?

[Oh, he writes with his hoof. Because residual boxing glove power.]

It's called spicing it up a bit---thrill of the fight, with the thrill of the muffin---but seriously I'm more of a late night munchies guy. You need cookies at 2 AM, I've got you covered. There might be a way to get a message down there, but...I dunno if she has control yet. Might not be her choice who goes. So I've just gotta do what I'm gonna do ASAP.

Well, I'm always up for late-night baking. Could do to see what you're made of. Care to join me at the Commune once we've got a cure for this Joke sorted out? Say, around midnight? [A brief pause.] It's not a date or anything! Just late night, you know?

Still need to know what you're actually doing. Need any help?

I don't usually invite anybody, but...hey, why not? And there's somebody I hurt a while back. I gotta find her, 'cause she thinks I hate her. I know Twilight didn't take her home, but she went on some kind of trip and her group's still out.

Well, you said you were looking for friends. Figure meeting's the sort of thing they do.

[Meeting and making cookies at ungodly hours. That is the sign of true friends in the making.]

That's right... I saw your message about her an age ago. Ever sort out what you need to do once she's back, then?

You're right. Yeah...I guess you can come around. I know what to do. I've gotta tell her I screwed up---that just 'cause I don't think I'm her boyfriend, I mean. I still love her. I just hope she believes it. But even if she doesn't...guess I'd deserve a kick in the face.

Only once this joke stuff wears off. You're not talking, and I'm not being seen unless it's to help someone else out.

Knowing guys? Yeah, you probably do deserve a kick in the face, whatever it was. Still, nice to hear I love you for us girls now and again, yeah? D'you know when she'll be back?

That's what's got me worried. One day, she said. Yeah...hasn't been a day yet. But what if they don't make it? If she goes out thinking I hate her, then...

Hey, don't start thinking like that or you'll never stop. She'll come back, and if she doesn't, then I think you'll have the best incentive out of any of us to wrestle Calice into submission so you can get to her, right?

Little things like universes won't keep friends apart.

[Except the Doctor and Rose. Donna's not going to mention them, though.]

Yeah, you're right. About more than just her...everybody else who's gone on. Thanks---guess I'll see ya when we've got the flower wilted.

Sounds good. Can't promise a good wrestle, but I like cooking, at least. Should be fun! Take care of yourself until then, yeah?

You too, Donna. Thanks. Just...don't punch me too hard, I might need my nose eventually.

Rock's an interesting subject, especially once you're looking at different eras of it.

Of course it is! Do you play?

Sadly I never had time to learn like I wanted to. Best I can do right now is a kazoo.

In desperate times...I'll take it. And. Uh. It's not too late to learn, if you want. Might have to find a trick to work with your limbs, but it can be done.

Technically I'm a changeling...I might be able to figure out something if I can force it beyond standard pony hooves, though maybe I can cheat with experimenting with Unicorn form. Got any suggestions?

Claws? Anything to pluck the strings with.

Possibly. If all else fails, even hooves can play the drums. What do you think I should try?

Claws first.Shredding is awesome. Then do the hoof thing if you have to.

At the risk of sounding my age, 'shredding'?"

Playing awesomely. A cool solo. Something like that.

Playing awesomely. I like the sound of that. Do you play?

'Course I do, and it rocks. But I need a new bandmate, I'm thinking.

I start with few skills, but I've been told I'm a quick learner.

Good enough! You wanna learn, swing by the shack anytime. Not like I've got much else to be doing.

Let's hope musical talent actually does run in families. And I will definitely be swinging by soon.

In families? What, you got a rockstar dad or something?

[He is so glad this is text, so Strong Bad couldn't see the face he made]

No, just older brothers that are fairly talented in that area. My father wouldn't know music if it bit him.

That bad, huh? Well I've definitely got my, uh. Hooves crossed. That you're like your brothers.

Even if I'm not, there's still a lot of room in the realm of 'listenable'.

And y'know there's something to be said for that at the end of the day.

It's still a win, that's for sure.

That it is. So I'll be seeing you soon, man.

You most certainly will. I look forward to it.

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