mylittlejamjar | not an offense at all (visual)

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not an offense at all (visual)

[Hey, guess what, it's Strong Bad.

Guess what else, he's wearing a black apron. And he's chilling in the kitchen, bowls and morsels laid before him. There's also a plate of cookies toward the edge of the table, all colors.]

You ever have those nights when you just need to get your hands dirty and make something? 'Cause I do. So I've made about three dozen cookies in the last two hours, and no way can I eat that much. I mean...I can, but I shudder to think of what my girth would begin to resemble.

So y'know what? For once, I'll give y'all something. No strings attached. Come on down to the shack and take it---and if you want to help me perfect these more exotic recipes, come on down.

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[After all that's happened between them, Feena is a little shy to ask.]

...Would you mind if... I come down?

Would I mind?

[He laughs, a quick bark.]

Get over here. There's gotta be something here that'll conquer your taste buds.

[The mare's expression immediately brightens at that, and she nods eagerly before rolling up her scroll to get a move on. She'll be showing up within about five minutes, lightly thumping his front door with a hoof.]

Strong Bad, I'm here!

Get in here, the good stuff's still cooking.

[He ushers her in, all smiles, the scent of warm spices filling the place.]

So. Are you a snickerdoodles kind of gal?

[She breathes in the scent of warm spices, and sighs contentedly.]

Wow, it smells so good in here.

[But she blinks in confusion at the question, before blushing slightly in embarrassment.]

Um... I've never heard of snickerdoodles before, actually.

What? Come on, we're fixing that. Now.

[He ushers her in, presenting one of the sugary treats.]

The union of cinnamon spice, sugar, and dough. Just one of my favorites.

[Feena picks up a snickerdoodle, looking it over, before putting it in her mouth. She chews for a moment, savoring the treat, and then grins.]

Oh, wow! Those are good! I wish I could bake like you. Mother was real good at baking, but... I never got the hang of it.

[His face falls a little, though he tries to hide the reaction.]

...seriously? But you cook, right? It's not that different. Measure ingredients, mix, watch the time. Here, I'll show you something simple: chocolate chip. You heard of those?

[He has a bet with Kafei here and no way is he gonna lose.]

[She nods, a proud smile on her face.]

Yes, I can cook pretty well, actually! Stews are my specialty, though! [Her eyes widen at the mention of the familiar cookies.] Oh! I know what those are!

...But I really don't think you should trust me, Strong Bad. Really, I'll probably burn down your house.

You can use an oven, can't you? Come on, it's not that hard. I'll help you through it.

And there's no way I'm letting Kafei win this one.

[She heard that.]

What do you mean 'there's no way I'm letting Kafei win this one'?

[Now she just eyes him skeptically. Just what are you planning, SB?]

Are you both in an argument? Or competing against each other or something?

Edited 2015-08-14 03:22 (UTC)

[He flinches a little.]

He thinks we can't make something he'll like. We're gonna prove him wrong.

...What.

[Oh no he didn't. She's just quiet a moment, eyes wide, before she flashes Strong Bad another one of her wide, proud grins, a fire of determination in her eyes.]

He thinks so, huh? Well, he certainly doesn't complain when I make something! [...Feena, cooking and baking are two different things.] And from what I can tell, you're wonderful at baking! Strong Bad...

[Her expression is now dead serious.]

We'll bake such delicious cookies, it'll knock his pants off. Let's do this.

[He's so proud of you right now, Feena. He nudges her shoulder with his own big grin.]

...why does he wear pants, anyway?

Come on, we're winning this one. Sugar, eggs, flour, powder, chocolate, let's go!

[He's hauling everything to the kitchen in a whirlwind of activity.]

Could you turn the oven on? First thing, we wanna make sure it's nice and hot before we shove anything in.

I don't know.

[She'll have to ask Kafei why he wears them when she sees him next. With a nod, she walks over to the oven. And turns the temperature all the way up.]

That good?

[FEENA NO]

[He's watching, just in case...and his eyes widen.]

No! Uh. I mean. Sorry. Should've given you a temperature. 350'll do it.

Then we mix the powder stuff---flour, baking soda, salt. See the measuring cups? Three of the big one of flour, one little spoon each of baking soda and salt.

Oh! I'm sorry! I told you I have no clue what I'm doing!

[Feena turns the temperature to 350, and walks over to Strong Bad, to watch what he's doing for a moment. She then looks over at the measuring cups. Okay, she can do this.]

Got it. [She picks up the bag of flour and just... begins to dump it into one of the measuring cups, some flour spilling on the table. There's probably a less messy way to do this, but...]

It's okay, we got this. Here, level off, level off...

[He leans over and uses a spatula to swipe flour off the top, ensuring the measurements that go in are precise.]

You gotta watch your measurements. Too much flour, it's stiff and crumbly. Too little, it's a sheet of buttery goo. And speaking of butter, I'll go mush it. You got the sugar?

[And that is what he does, though he keeps watching her nervously .]

[.............................]

...You bake?

[That is a look of both terror and awe.]

Yeah, well, what other deliciousness do y'all expect me to eat? Can't have barbecue.

[Hm...there's so many ways he could go about this. After everything Strong Bad put him through, though? It only seems logical to rub that in his face.]

Honestly, I'm not sure how you people handle that. I, personally, have no idea what I'd do if I couldn't eat meat anymore, there isn't anything else that is nearly as satisfying. There's just something about biting into a well cooked meal and having those juices pour into your mouth...

Really, it's a shame you never got to try Feena's cooking while everyone was back to normal. She is an exceptional cook.

...she...ugh, I can't believe it.

[That hurts, man.]

But if she's that good, then together we're gonna make the best doughy morsels on the planet.

I said she was good at cooking, I don't know anything about her baking abilities. They're two completely different arts.

[YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.]

But whatever it takes to fill that meatless void in your heart, I suppose.

Hmph. You'll see, you'll all see!

Swing by here tonight and try what we cook up. I dare you.

Let's see... [He begins to tap his chin.] How much do I value my life...?

[Really, it's not like it can be worse than Anju's cooking. And if they do mess up, he won't feel nearly as guilty for not liking it. ...Maybe a little guilty if Feena's involved, but he's pretty sure he can get away with it.]

Very well. Do not forget, I'd rather not waste my time.

We won't, man. Promise.

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not an offense at all (visual)

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