mylittlejamjar | [Audio]

Yes! But, well, you don't typically put all the newspapers together and call them a book, do you? Boy's Own has got drawings, too, but it's not really what you'd call a proper picture book. It's a periodical for the enterprising lad young lad looking to make something of himself, you know?

Er... well, that's a bit of a crass way to put it, old boy, but that does sound like her. She has an orange coat and wears a hat. But really, any of the native Earth Ponies could probably show you a thing or three.

Yeah, I don't think comic books are anything like your Boy's Own, dude. Comics are usually about d-bag superheroes and the villains that fight them. Although there are a couple of other genres like the "goofy teenager slice of life" comics and comic versions of movies or books or classical poetry, they should be avoided. But I can't think of a single comic produced in the past fifty years that would be like what you're describing. Unless they decided to print the Boy Scout manual as a comic book.

Well, you knew exactly who I was talking about. Yeah, I guess they could. They might be better at it than Pinkie Pie was. She kind of seems like she's ... maybe not the most serious of horses.

I suppose this might be the time to mention that I'm from 1925? Er... if you're from Earth, that is. I've heard of villains, but superheroes? Have a leg up on the average hero, do they?

Ms. Pie certainly has a silly streak. A jolly girl, though! She's the sort to take out for a night on the town, make no mistake.

And suddenly everything makes a whole lot more sense. Yeah, comics won't come around for another eight years. They kind of do. They have all kinds of different powers. Some can run super fast - like, fast enough to run around the entire world in a minute -, some can fly, melt stuff with their eyes, or they're super strong.

You really think so? She's like a kid who needs her Ritalin. She's a nice horse, but dude, I think that if you had to deal with her for more than half an hour you'd end up with a wicked bad headache.

Oh! Do they hop about from world to world saving the day? That sounds like The Doctor. He's a Time Lord. Or Dante! He's a half demon and trots about slaying fiendish folk. Hah! That's brilliant. I'll have to let them know they're superheroes.

And what rot. My chum Biffy back home forgets his own name sometimes, and Catsmeat talks just about as fast as one of Lord Bittlesham's racehorses at the Ascot Opening Day when he's had a snootful of vodka. To each their own, of course, but I think she'd be perfectly pleasant to step out with on occasion.

I guess some of them might. I can't think of any that do that ~~because I don't watch BBC~~ but I don't see why not. So those guys you were talking about, they're here? And they really do that thing?

Yeah, on occasion. For short periods of time. That's exactly what I was saying.

They most certainly are here, my good...

I do apologize. U've been nattering away and I haven't even made a proper introduction. Bertie Wooster. How do you do?

That sounds pretty cool. I thought I saw someone who might be like the superheroes in the comic books I'm talking about... but he was a horse so I'm not entirely sure.

Yeah, I'm Gary. I'm doing fine, I guess. Yourself?

Well, apart from being equine in shape, I fancy these chaps and chappesses are more or less human, what? They've got photography, gramophones, and all sorts of things we have. The magic is new, though, it must be said.

I'm perfectly well, and it's a pleasure to meet you, Gary, old sport. Dreadfully sorry you're having a rough go of it.

Yeah, but they don't have computers, cars, or ... meat. And dude, 'gramophones'? I've never even seen a real gramophone in real life. They stopped making them like fifty years ago, dude, they are totally obsolete.

You know what's really weird though? How is it that everyone is adapting so fast to being a horse? Seriously, we've been here less than three months and like 99% of people are totally okay with hooves and becoming vegetarians and using words like 'everypony.' It is so Twilight Zone!

What's a computer?

Well, regardless, I will admit the loss of a proper meat pie has thrown a bucket or two of cold water on the spirits, but I seem to have developed an unaccountable taste for flowers and hay in the interim.

[He has no idea what the Twilight Zone is, but he suspects it isn't related to Princess Twilight and her place of residence.]

I, er... well, I had noticed a bit. The vernacular here is catching... before you even hear it, in fact. My chum Vantas doesn't seem to be able to get on with his usually colorful range of vocabularly judging by the amount of times I've heard him say something was 'bucking ridiculous.' I wonder why it hasn't affected all of us, though. That's dashed odd. Have you spoken to the princesses about it?

Okay. Do they have calculators in your time?

[21 knows they have some technology. At least he won't have to explain electricity. Just everything else about computers.]

Man. I know a vegetarian lifestyle is supposed to be healthier for you, but it's so bland. The cupcakes are nice, though.

Wow. Really? I haven't experienced that. I can swear just fine. ...Maybe it's got something to do with all the food. I've really only been eating the grass in the park. And I guess that if they've slipped any kind of ponification drugs in the food, they missed that grass.

Dude, I don't think the princess knows anything about us. She seems kind of ditzy, you know?

I think Jeeves has one to manage the finances. What's adding numbers up got to do with this computer business, though?

[He frowns at the mention of vegetarianism.]

I hadn't actually been thinking about it. Madeline made Gussie become a vegetarian for a week once. The fathead was on his last legs by the time I'd got there to sort them out. Best not to dwell on what you don't have, what? Do you really think they're, er... drugging us? That seems awfully unsporting.

[The comment on Celestia just earns 21 a cocked head.]

Well, I've detected a certain larkiness about her, but I wouldn't go that far, old boy. Provided you're talking about Princess Celestia. Princess Luna seems properly sober in serious matters if that's what you're looking for.

Okay, well then, it can do everything that Jeeves can do with finances, except like, a billion times faster. And then I want you to imagine all the books you ever seen. Not read, dude, seen. All of those books could fit into one computer. And there's a function that's kind of like these scrolls. Except it's not a scroll, it's in the machine. It does like, almost everything you could want it to be.

Well, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? Everyone's so... accepting. And happy. It's unreal! No one could possibly be as happy as these horses are on a daily basis. It's either drugs or everyone else is a robot.

There's more than one princess? I've only seen the big white one.

You're having me on. Really? By Jove, that sounds amazing! I knew they were getting everything sorted out so that you can get a home television, but that sounds almost impossible. And just the sort of thing my man Jeeves would be onto like hound on a fox. From what all of the other futuristic chappies have been telling me, the world a few decades or so on sounds about as peculiar as Equestria.

I don't see what being happy has to do with all that! Most of the ponies here just seem to have a sunny disposish. Nothing odd about that. I've always had one, too. Awfully glum times if you're looking for the cloud in every silver lining, what?

There are three, as far as I've been told: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight. Rather a theme, there. In any case, Princess Luna's in Canterlot. Princess Twilight lives here in Ponyville, but I haven't had the pleasure of making her acquaintance.

Oh yeah, you can watch television on it too. It's kind of slow and buggy right now, but I'm pretty sure that in a couple of years it'll be worth paying for the subscription to it. Yeah, uh, I'm pretty sure that my time is totally different from yours. I mean like, you guys have just invented planes and cars, right? They're totally common when I'm from. Like almost everyone has at least one car. And planes? Dude, like billions of people have their own private plane. Plus there is like so much more stuff.

You don't think it's weird that everyone is so cheerful all the time? I don't think I've ever seen a single one of these horses frown. At least none of the ponies that were born here. They're all so cheerful that it can't possibly be real!

That seems like an awful lot of princesses. So you've met the other one, the Princess Luna one? Is she like Celestia?

Princess Luna is, well, she's a regal sort and seems to be of a more serious bend than Princess Celestia. I can't say I know either of them well enough to point out anything apart from the physical, though. Princess Luna has dark fur and a mane that looks rather like she's gotten a few stars caught in it.

As for all the rest, I look forward to the future if we can get home. I have a two-seater, but flying? Having a taste of it here, I should very much like to have the chance when I'm a human again! And I'll be a jolly fellow all around. I really think you're looking too much into this business of most ponies being the jolly sort. Equestria seems a lovely place. What would they have to be unhappy about?

What do you mean by stars caught in it? Is that like some old timey way of saying that she's going grey?

Yeah, I don't think flying back in the human world will be quite the same as it is here. But it's still pretty cool.

Ok. I don't know what they have to be unhappy about. You've got me there. But being so cheery all the time just isn't natural.

Er... no. I mean it looks like her hair is the night, and she's sparkling with the light described by many a poet and love-sick sap therein. It's like Princess Celestia has a sort of... pastel rainbow twirling about on top of her head and off her hindquarters.

I suppose flying back home will be more like being one of the Tommys out for the Huns than the plane itself, but I'll take what I can!

You ought to meet my chum Barmy, by the by. One of the happiest bloke I know. Hasn't got but cotton between the ears, but he's a corking fellow and well cheery almost all the time. I think it's probably them putting on a brave face, though, what? They're decent sorts and they wouldn't want to go worrying visitors.

Oh. Seriously? [He's trying to imagine that and it isn't really working. Either this is the coolest looking horse or the worst looking one. But now he really wants to see this mane full of stars.]

Yeah, you lost me at flying back home, dude.

So... you think that all the ponies here are too stupid to get sad? Or they're trying to put on a happy face so we don't get bummed out, or... okay guy, seriously, do you speak English? Because I can only understand like half of the things you say at any given time.

I wouldn't take such a thing lightly. A filly's hair is typically a feature very dear to her. No chap who value his teeth in the proper order would jest.

[Bertie snorts at the mention of language.]

I can assure you, I'm speaking the King's E. But to return to the original intent of this missive, I think I'm needed for a spot of weather.

[He looks off the scroll and waves.]

Just a moment! It's been brilliant talking to you, Gary. Best of luck with everything. I'm sure you'll sort it out before you can say lickety-split.

Yeah, all right, dude. It's been...

[He's got to think about this.]

It's been really interesting talking to you, Bertie. Good luck with your weather thing.

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[Audio] (I will stop attempting to make replies on my cell phone. Apologies for all the typos.)

[Audio] I was wondering why you suddenly went to using things like 'U've'

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