mylittlejamjar | [Audio]

Naw. You have to be a pegasi. It's our "gift", I guess. Earth ponies control the food and plants, we control the weather, the unicorns control everything.

So basically... anyone who isn't a unicorn got screwed over at birth. I mean it even sounds like pegasi get gypped. If the unicorns can change the friggin' seasons, then they could totally do the weather.

Well the unicorns can't change the seasons on their own. They'd still need us man.

[But wow. Holy crap does she agree. She agrees with that assessment so damn bad.]

We've all got our role to play, you know? You just got to get used to it.

Sure doesn't seem that way.

No way am I going to 'get used to it,' this sucks way too much to just go along with it.

Edited (Sorry, used the wrong word in there and just noticed. I'm sooo good at paying attention.) 2013-05-11 05:03 (UTC)

Okay what do you plan to do then man? Whine about it? You might as well just suck it up and be productive.

Okay. So I haven't figured out a solution yet. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to give up and go be a friggin' farmer for ... forever.

Then don't man. I mean even if you're stuck as an Earth pony there's gotta be something you're good at back home too. I mean not every one of them farms man, just like not every pegasus has an immediate interaction with the weather. I'm an engineer.

Edited 2013-05-12 03:24 (UTC)

Yeah, I don't think my skills are very useful here. I don't know, man, is there like a pony temp agency or something? Maybe a pony welfare office that offers job training?

...My Equestria has one.

Uh.

I don't know if this one does though. It kinda seems like this one doesn't really need it, you know? It's like....happy. Disgustingly happy, like a dream a five year old would vomit up or something.

Seriously? I was being mostly sarcastic about that. [Surprisingly, 21 has very little trouble accepting her insistence that she's from a different Equestria.] Yeah. This place is so Nick Jr. it's horrifying.

Well, aside from how everything seems to be based on what race of horse you ended up.

[And drive thrus. And grocery stores. And all kinds of weird modern conveniences that are out of place in comparison to everything else. And man, it is really just going back to the different types of ponies thing with you, isn't it?

It takes her a minute, but she's privating this just because it's a fact that bugs her so damn much she's having more and more trouble keeping quiet about it, but it's not an opinion she wants just free-floating out there either. Even if she doesn't have to fear reprisal from the Princesses here for criticism, it's something ingrained in her.]

...Look man. You're right, it sucks alright? The unicorns are always at the top man. They just have the advantage. But here, I guess...it kind of works. Like the unicorns here are pretty decent instead of overbearing. Or snobbish. Or...you know what? Unicorns are just assholes most the time, alright?

But here they're not bad. Yet.

[It takes a lot for her to say that, with the overbearing hatred she has for unicorns simmering deep down inside of her. And its confused her with how decent they, or anyone else is, here. She doesn't get it.]

All I'm saying is if you don't want to be a farm pony, don't be a farm pony. I doubt anyone is going to get on you if you aren't one as long as you're not, like, setting fires throughout the town man. Just do something but don't make it whining about the class divide because you're pissing me off considering how much worse it is in other places.

What do you do back home that's so weird you don't think it could apply here anyway?

Well I wasn't complaining about the unicorns themselves. Just how everything seems to be made for them. Like actual items. And how it's pretty damn unfair that your job is based on your race. Just chill out, man.

[But 21 will be shutting up about this. It's really very surprising to hear a horse telling him to check his privelage. Luckily for him, Surprise has given him something else to talk about, otherwise this would have been the most ]

I'm a henchman. I don't know if you noticed, but there are no villains here worth henching for. I mean, what has that overlord guy done? Steal rainbows to make a pizza or some dumb shit like that? Yeah, I don't do that kind of villainy.

I also sell comic books sometimes, but that's more of a fallback for when my boss is in prison or - or something else comes up. And I don't see any comic books around here to sell.

Oh.

[She had...never really thought about the item thing. Because in most cases, at least as far as she could tell, it had never been a problem. Then again, she'd never bothered to leave Cloudsdale in her own world. And she'd take any excuse to essentially show her own prejudice, or hope that her prejudice was justified.

Now she just feels like an asshole. So yeah lets move on to the henchman thing.]

What, so there's a market for hanging around with psychopaths in your world? ...Like does that even pay well?

Man, I dunno. Like there are comic book stores in my world, it's just...weird here. Like it's nicer here but everything is kinda old fashioned. I just thought it was Ponyville at first but its the same in Cloudsdale too. I mean there's no grocery stores or drive-thrus or nothing.

No, it's more of a labor of... well, hate, I guess. Maybe other henchmen get paid better though, my boss is kind of a tightwad when it comes to paying for stuff that isn't y'know, stuff that he wants. But man, he's is amazing at being a villain. You should see him when he gets on one of his I-hate-Dr. Venture rants. It's freaking epic.

So... how did you drive cars with hooves? [Because you have to drive through a drive-thru, after all.] And did they sell anything good or just this crappy vegetarian food that they have here?

Man, I dunno. Like I guess it has to be a labor of passion then cause it sounds crazy. You don't get increased danger pay or nothing cause I'm guessing most of what you do has to be dangerous on top of illegal.

[Says the pegasus who helps service a machine used to grind up children for the nefarious purposes of the government. If she bothered to think about it she'd realize how hypocritical she was being, but she's trying to avoid any self-realization on the matter as much as she can.]

...What's a car? That like a cart? Because we pull those, along with vans. Though only creepy weirdos pull vans. And what's wrong with our food? What do you eat that's so much better?

[That's right. They don't have cars, but they do have vans apparently that they can pull behind them. Parody worlds man. They are kind of a hodge podge of things at times.]

Oh yeah, I have totally seen so many henchmen get killed. But it isn't technically illegal. It's sort of a grey area in the law. The Guild does their thing and everyone just turns a blind eye to it.

Wait. What? You know what a van is but you don't know what a car is? How does that... [21 shakes his head. Not that Surprise can see it of course. Still, this libe of conversation is not going to get them anywhere. He needs to find another way to phrase this.]

Okay. Imagine a smaller van that has a machine inside of it that makes it able to move by itself. No horses required. [21 won't go into the whole mechanics of "horsepower" just now.]

...So...it's like a cart with an engine or a generator in it or something?

Like is that cost-efficient or something? I mean we do it for buses but we don't have many of those anyway, but how many ponies they can take is usually seen as worth it. Like how big is it?

Yeah, that's the easiest way to explain it.

Well, it's cost efficient because they're mass produced where I'm from. They vary in size. Like some only hold two people, some hold like... thirty or forty. Maybe more, depending on how many people stand.

Huh.

.....Do you have computers too?

Yeah.

Do they have computers here? Man, the keyboards must be huge.

Not here man. At least I haven't seen any. Like I said its kind of like stepping back in time.

They have them back home. And they have this game for it where you run a farm and grow carrots which I thought was stupid because we do that anyway. But I keep playing it. I mean I will just play it at home for hours.

Just growing these virtual carrots.

I take it MMOs and other grindfests haven't been invented yet. If you think growing virtual carrots is addictive, wait until you're trying to outfit a little avatar of yourself with the best armor and the best weapons so that when the newest expansion comes out you can get even better gear and weapons...

But growing virtual carrots is nice, too. It sounds like it's one of those simple but hypnotic games that you can't help but really like.

Man I don't even know if it's nice or anything anymore. I just know that "carrotcake878" manages to grow 5 virtual carrots more than me per day, and it's pissing me off. I have tried everything to try and compete with them. Virtually water my carrots every day, bought special packs from the online store that's supposed to increase input - seriously I have no clue how many bits I've wasted on this game. One month I was behind on rent because of how many damn virtual carrots I tried to buy.

Sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing I ended up here before I ended up blowing my savings on a computer game.

And then I remember it's not just a game. It's a personal matter by this point.

Maybe there was more than one person playing on that account. Like they were on a team or something. Or they might have had more money than you. But yeah, micro-transactions totally suck.

Sorry to hear that you ended up here before you could get one up on that guy, though.

But hey, who knows? They might show up here. And then you can settle the matter in person.

Man, would it even matter if they did? It's not like I know what they look like.

Maybe it's good I don't have the conveniences of home anyway, you know? Maybe they are evil in their own little ways if I care that much about virtual carrots.

....Though, you know. Tell me more about the "car". Like, what shape is it, what's it made out of, what kind of engine does it use...

Edited 2013-05-28 06:41 (UTC)

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[Audio] Also, does she still sound like a dude?

[Audio] I'm gonna go ahead and say yes

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