Prelude in C Minor - [Visual/Action]

[saxappeal]

[There's a minotaur all up in your collective grills, Equestria. One that has his face mostly obscured by a trenchcoat and fedora, both in a dusty light brown.]

Alright. Clearly, I musta fallen asleep in front of one of Peacock's shows or something. Because this is one hell of a dream.

[His voice is smooth, rich, and deep, almost as if he's a natural born singer.]

... well, either that, or some Skullgirl made the world's worst wish. Seriously, why's this place gotta be so bright...

Moping aside, might as well introduce myself. The name's Ben Birdland, but you can call me Big Band. It's what I'm used to.

Now, anybody wanna give me directions to the nearest bar? Because if I'm gonna wait this thing out, I'm gonna wait it out with some gin.

[If anybody so chooses, they can find the hulk of a bull stomping (lightly) around the Town Square, trying to get his bearings. Seems like there's a similarly massive saxophone strapped to his back, and he's having no trouble carrying it around.]

Comments

[millionbitpipes]

You're lookin' for Canterlot. Or maybe Las Pegasus. Pretty much everythin' here is a pun, don't ask.

I think it's got somethin' to do with the Princesses' old castle bein' off in the woods. And they've got their own royalty livin' here now - I'm kinda surprised it ain't more busy here.

[saxappeal]

... I was gonna, but. Peacock'd love this place, I can tell.

Whatever the reason, this is still a heck of a far cry from New Meridian. How long's it usually take to get used to the boonies like this?

[millionbitpipes]

I dunno, took me maybe a year or so when I moved outta the city back home. But that was different. Less magic ponies. [More mafia ties. It was a whole big thing.]

[saxappeal]

[It's probably a good thing you didn't mention the mafia out loud, Harv. Ben's got some bad blood with some mafioso types.]

So what's it like when you do factor in magic ponies?

[millionbitpipes]

[So does Harvey. That'd be how he got run outta the city.]

Faster than you'd think. I've been here - god, it'll be two years come spring. I'd been turned into a pony before - weird dimension travel stuff - but it took me a good few months just to get the hang of not havin' hands.

Guess you don't gotta worry about that.

[saxappeal]

Hold on, before? Man, sounds like your adventures could be some kinda comic. Guess bein' around here for two years would do tha-- [Hold on.]

Two years?! No, wait, hold on, I can't stand bein' around here that long. I've got stuff to take care of!

[millionbitpipes]

Don't we all.

[saxappeal]

[Thanks, Harvey.]

... and y'all ain't found a consistent way out in that time. [Ben looks visibly deflated at this point.]

Damn.

[millionbitpipes]

Nope.

From what we've gathered, the one that brought us here controls who comes and goes. Sometimes when folks vanish, they get sent home. Sometimes they end up with her.

[Harvey practically growls the word, glancing sidelong at the bartender, who isn't paying any attention. Damn, he could use a drink right now. Lucky (or too bad) everyone workin' here knows not to serve him alcohol anymore.]

[saxappeal]

And that'd be the Pale Pony. [Things are slowly starting to click together.]

You sure you guys never heard of the Skull Heart? 'cause shenanigans on this kinda level are... it's specialty. As much as a malicious artifact can have a specialty.

[millionbitpipes]

Not a thing. She seems pretty based in pony stuff, she's got their Elements of Harmony. Some kinda ancient magic weapon they use. I'dve said she was like a few things I ran into back home too, but...

[He just shrugs. There's been a lotta people lately talkin' about reachin' out to the pony underneath the eldritch abomination, but Harvey is not yet entirely convinced that that pony exists.]

[saxappeal]

Guess you get eldritch weirdos everywhere, then.

... somebody else was babblin' about the "elements" to me. Uh... man, what was her name... Lucia Bolido. Yeah, her. Tellin' me how there's a copy of 'em in every universe or somesuch.

You think all those other universes got their avatar o' death, or is this one the millionth caller?

[millionbitpipes]

Ah, yeah, one of them.

Hard to say. This one already ate the universe she came from, and who even knows if she got others. If there were more of her, one of 'em would probably just absorb all the rest. She don't seem too keen on sharin'.

[saxappeal]

Ate... the universe. [Hold on.]

Alright, this stuff is officially out of my league.

[millionbitpipes]

It's inside her. All still there, but sorta...grayish, I think she said? With the Pale Pony watchin' it all for anythin' that moves. We're talkin' full-blown Outer God.

We got a mare here that can go inside her. No idea how that works, but she's been twice.

[saxappeal]

Whoo. That's some crazy stuff. Uh... how in the hell are y'all planning on dealing with this?

[millionbitpipes]

That's a real good question.

Some folks think they can talk her down. Offer her friendship or somethin'. [He pauses, staring down into his drink.] I dunno. Sounds silly to me, but there don't seem to be much else we can even try. The strongest people here couldn't even really make a dent in her.