Vatan Haini (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pseudacteon_emigre) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mylittlejamjar2013-08-16 02:21 pm
pseudacteon_emigre) wrote in mylittlejamjar2013-08-16 02:21 pm
Neurosis 01 [Visual]
[The week was nearly over, and the air was starting to clear significantly... the town wasn't quite as blue as it was Monday morning. Literally or figuratively. Yet, trueberry-induced awkwardess hung in the air even still, liable to last a few more days yet. Now seemed like the perfect time to strike.
He'd spent most of the week watching from a vantage point nopony would question - after all, they were so worried about blurting out their deepest secrets that nopony paid the suspiciously new potted plant near Town Hall any mind, even though it was blatantly wearing a ratty toupee. And with that, he learned of the situation... including what was going in in town, and how he had gotten to a place like Ponyville anyway, when normally changelings still couldn't get within miles of Canterlot.
Making sure he's not seen, the changeling reverts back to his normal form, unrolling the nearby scroll and working its magic.]
Greetings, my little ponies. I see that I have arrived in your world during a bit of a... crisis. Something in the air compels you to speak truths uncontrollably, yes? I notice a large number of you are highly uncomfortable with the idea, and yet it is highly liberating, is it not? Being able to vent what is truly hidden deep in your minds. Perhaps it would help you to seek a neutral third party in this situation, to allow that truth to flow without fear of judgement.
I would like to introduce myself. I go by the name "Hain" amongst ponies, and yes, I am fully aware that I am a changeling. However, I have nothing to hide. I shall not pretend to be some random pony whom you have never met simply to garner love from you - I will do that, instead, with honesty and promise.
You see, I am a deserter of my changeling hive, and as of such have to subside on whatever love I can gather from ponies directly. To that end, I have taken up profession as a therapist. I help ponies with their problems, and in lieu of coin, they provide me sustenance. It is actually truly a remarkable deal, yes?
And it sounds to me like many of you need the assistance. While I do not have a place of residence as of yet, my non-existent doors are quite open for any and all of you.
However, do bear in mind that I do not work pro-bono. As I said, I ask only for my next meal, but that is payment I am unwilling to negotiate at this present time, as a sheer matter of self-preservation. I also do not take kindly to being short-changed.
Regardless, my offer is on the table. Allow me a meal, and I will listen to your problems, even help you through them.
And I assure you; despite the teeth, I will not bite.
He'd spent most of the week watching from a vantage point nopony would question - after all, they were so worried about blurting out their deepest secrets that nopony paid the suspiciously new potted plant near Town Hall any mind, even though it was blatantly wearing a ratty toupee. And with that, he learned of the situation... including what was going in in town, and how he had gotten to a place like Ponyville anyway, when normally changelings still couldn't get within miles of Canterlot.
Making sure he's not seen, the changeling reverts back to his normal form, unrolling the nearby scroll and working its magic.]
Greetings, my little ponies. I see that I have arrived in your world during a bit of a... crisis. Something in the air compels you to speak truths uncontrollably, yes? I notice a large number of you are highly uncomfortable with the idea, and yet it is highly liberating, is it not? Being able to vent what is truly hidden deep in your minds. Perhaps it would help you to seek a neutral third party in this situation, to allow that truth to flow without fear of judgement.
I would like to introduce myself. I go by the name "Hain" amongst ponies, and yes, I am fully aware that I am a changeling. However, I have nothing to hide. I shall not pretend to be some random pony whom you have never met simply to garner love from you - I will do that, instead, with honesty and promise.
You see, I am a deserter of my changeling hive, and as of such have to subside on whatever love I can gather from ponies directly. To that end, I have taken up profession as a therapist. I help ponies with their problems, and in lieu of coin, they provide me sustenance. It is actually truly a remarkable deal, yes?
And it sounds to me like many of you need the assistance. While I do not have a place of residence as of yet, my non-existent doors are quite open for any and all of you.
However, do bear in mind that I do not work pro-bono. As I said, I ask only for my next meal, but that is payment I am unwilling to negotiate at this present time, as a sheer matter of self-preservation. I also do not take kindly to being short-changed.
Regardless, my offer is on the table. Allow me a meal, and I will listen to your problems, even help you through them.
And I assure you; despite the teeth, I will not bite.
[Visual]
Or unless you're in a society that doesn't have "microwaves", whatever those may be. I assume that the reason that 'only the elderly do it' in your world is due to the oldest of a people generally not adapting as quickly to new things.
Tell me; if you're from a coocoon, then what of your queen? Your brethren? Did any of them come with you?
[Visual]
My queen? Super hot and super unavailable. 21's the only one who came here with me.
[Visual]
I wasn't interested in her appearance, moreso her power. It's unimportant if she didn't come to this world with you, I suppose. You two are drones, then?
[Visual]
Henchmen. And we're butterflies, not bees.
[Visual]
Strange, in Equestria, butterflies aren't usually this.... snarky.
[Visual]
Do they?
No, you know what, if they do talk when confronted with the power of sweetness and light, I don't want to know.
[Visual]
Trust me, it isn't any "power of sweetness and light", it's just nature.
So you're saying that you're a 'fake' butterfly?
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That doesn't mean you weren't a butterfly before you showed up here; I have no idea how this "offworlder" thing works.
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Theme villainy. I had not been aware that such things happened outside of comic books.
[Visual]
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[A pause.]
I assume your leader does it for love of the job. And, assumedly, global domination.
[Visual] Holy shit this is ancient, but you're getting a tag anyway!
No, he does it to take down Dr. Venture.
[visual] leeet's do the tiiime warp agaaaain
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There is always someone more evil.
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Because you're pretty good at villain speeches.
[visual]
[...curse those trueberries.]
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You weren't completely into it, so it probably wasn't your best work, but you had the emphasis down. And [he makes his voice go deeper and wavery, like he's trying for reverb] quake in fear. That's total villain talk.
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[Hain that's less a "mane" and more a "dead rat".]
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