[Visual]

[adandyinspace]

Hey, what's shakin'? Name's Dandy, but you already knew that.

[WINK]

Hey! So, I got a game. Time to sit your asses down and listen up. For anyone who went on our little cosmic field trip, I need a list of names of all the GOD DAMN BASTARDS WHO YELLED AT THE FRIGGIN' DEATH HORSE SO I CAN SHOOT THEM IN THE FACE.

Bonus points if you're a cutie.

['NOTHER WINK]

Think you can do that for me? Because nothing, and I mean nothing, is gonna keep me from getting back to BooBies, baby. There is no way in hell I'm letting any of you colorful horse bastards ruin what I got going so far, you hear me? You jackasses just set me back way too far, there's a damn good reason why I screen my Team Dandy members.

You, uh, failed. So yeeeaaah...

[Seriously, gonna have a loooong talk with little miss Jappleack when she gets back.]

Oh, uh, Leatherhead? Try not to make any plans this weekend, you and me are going out, baby! OH YEAH!

[Dandy outtie]

Comments

[kuukai]

Yeah, nice screenin' approach. How did it go again? Oh right, everyone on board th'Dandy train. Really ran a tight crew, didntcha?

[adandyinspace]

That's...exactly how it didn't go, actually.

[kuukai]

Yeah... well...

[ Okay she wasn't paying total close attention but it did seem like a LOT of ponies left very suddenly. ] Took half th'town with ya, didntcha?

[adandyinspace]

Not my idea, okay? It was Queen Jackass's, and I was against it since day one.

[Do not even get him started.]

[kuukai]

Queen... wha? [ Oh wait, that's Jappleack. ]

Oh, hey! Hey! Don' talk abou' her like that!

[adandyinspace]

She's a god damn dumbass who knew I wasn't cool babysitting her asshole friends, but went with it anyway because what the hell does she care? I'll say whatever I want, it isn't like I'm lying. That's what happened.

[kuukai]

Well it was on you ta make sure it didn' flippin' backfire, wasn' it? Dammit...

[adandyinspace]

It wouldn't have backfired if I had a good team to start with. Now I gotta go back and fish her out.

Pain in my ass...

[kuukai]

Has tha' ever worked b'fore? [ Dully. ] Sounds like th'most tha's ever happened is we've gone in, we've seen some ghosts, or ponies have appeared later without their memories. Hell, it happened with Jappleack.

[adandyinspace]

There's one huge difference, baby. I'm Dandy.

[kuukai]

Ya've got just as much chance as th'rest of us of gettin' taken.

[ Sigh. ] If ya do go back, let me know. At least ya can damn vouch fer me.

[adandyinspace]

Uh, I'm sorry, when did I take orders from you? I'm doing this solo, step off.

[kuukai]

Even though ya know tha's a damn stupid idea?

[adandyinspace]

Stupid ideas are usually the best ideas, baby. Everyone expects a well thought out plan.

Besides, don't you have some nerd kid you hang out with? Won't he get pissed?

[kuukai]

Heh. Guess tha's one way o'lookin' at it...

He's said it'd be fine. We gotta do what we gotta do. An' besides, he's strong. I can vouch fer him.

[adandyinspace]

Yeah, well I can vouch for me and I'm awesome. I got this, you just go back to doing whatever bears do. Fighting sharks? Pretty sure they fight sharks. Go do that, maybe I'll finally think you're worth my time.

[kuukai]

[ Eye-narrowing. What are you planning, Dandy? ] Fine. Won' miss ya. Luck, I guess, but if ya don' come back, least ya went down tryin'.

[adandyinspace]

Save your luck for somebody who needs it, you're talking to Dandy here. I'm practically made of the stuff.

[discorderly]

Oh, you all failed.

[Discord snaps his claws and revokes Dandy's hair privileges.

...seriously dude it's gone now.]

[Visual]

[bigsoftie]

...why are we going out?

[Also he was one of the assholes that yelled at Calice, sorry Dandy.]

Visual

[downstairslife]

...BooBies.

[That's...probably the stupidest name she's heard for any establishment, no matter how straightforward it might be.

...

Sorry, Dandy. You might have a big green dragon trying to hold back a snicker or two.]

[not here]

[hattrickery]

...well, at least now Hayate doesn't have to explain to Dandy why his hair glows in the dark.

Thanks, Discord!

[weaponizedgems]

[Have a rather unamused looking Dame Rarity.]

I was not yelling, I was attempting to have a conversation while all the others started yelling. Quite personally, I think that if we had elected one person to speak in our stead, it may have went much better.

[adandyinspace]

[Damn it.]

Hey, if you weren't yelling, then you aren't on my shit list, baby.

Visual

[adandyinspace]

[She can laugh all she wants, Dandy just wants to see if he can make her say it again.]

The greatest breastaurant chain you'll ever find, baby. What about it?

[Visual]

[adandyinspace]

You and me got a play date, big guy. Found a whooooole joint filled with dog people, just like you. Whattya say? I need me a wingman, there's this Ruby chick-

[Not important.]

Well?

[Visual]

[bigsoftie]

Dogs...like me?

[He doesn't care about the dating thing, but maybe he needs the distraction.]

Will they like me?

[Visual]

[adandyinspace]

Are you kidding me? All I had to do was say your name, and they were wagging their tails faster than a cat strapped to a rocket. You're in, baby!

[And if he doesn't bring a Diamond Dog with him, Dandy is out.]

[Visual]

[bigsoftie]

Really?

[Thinking about that makes him beam. Yay acceptance.]

Then...we can go...if you wish me to...I would like to.

[Visual]

[adandyinspace]

Hell yeah, that's what I like to hear!

[Gonna score with a dog, aw yea- Okay...that sounded a lot better in his head. ...Where it still is.]

We're going as soon as they open shop, got it?

[Visual]

[bigsoftie]

I will be read--they have a store?

[He's still behind in some things.]

[weaponizedgems]

Do not call me Baby.

[She's already trained one stallion out of the habit. Don't make her train another.]

Regardless, I would advise not shooting people in the head. A hoof to the back of the head works rather nicely.

[downstairslife]

[Dandy, you are talking to a girl from 18th-century not!Europe. She'd be long dead long before the first not!Hooters ever opened its doors.

That said, there's at least enough information for her to get some idea of the thing.]

I understand the appeal, but does everything in your world suffer the same dearth of variety when it comes to names?

[Do you buy your food from the FOOD chain of grocery stores, Dandy? What about drinking BEER brand beer?]