my little avenger: negativity is magic//[4th wall/text/action]

[blackmass]

[Kirei Kotomine was no stranger to moving between worlds. By now, he would almost dare call himself an expert on the matter, or at least accustomed to it.]

[But this? This place held the distinct honor of rocketing past Kalos in levels of sheer absurdity, and that was no easy feat. Usually Crawford had the decency to warn him before things like this happened, so either his associate hadn't seen it coming or Kirei had recently done something to annoy a precognitive psychic.]

[This whole world was a sugar-coated equine hell drenched in happiness and pastels.]

[Revolting.]

[Being a 6'4 presence in black and purple who all but literally radiated 'evil'...Kirei realized he was a little out of place, retreating to a corner of the library to collect himself and examine this particular communication device. With a strange sense of distaste, he realized the scroll seemed as though it wouldn't have been out of place in Tokiomi's or Rin's collection.]

From what I have seen so far, all of this seems to be a particularly unusual occurrence for this place. Have similar things transpired in the past, and if that is the case how was it resolved?

In short, what do I need to do to get out of here?

[And then, almost as an afterthought:]

Additionally, if anyone has seen an obnoxious individual with red hair and terrible fashion sense, tell him to come to the library.

[Look out, Equestria.]

[(ooc: kirei kotomine of fate/stay night, danganroleplay edition--spoilers for heaven's feel are likely, fair warning!)]

Comments

[backstabbery]

I'M SO HAPPY I'M GONNA EXPLODE.

[Fuck this place especially, evidently.]

This is the very definition of hell.

[blackmass]

Yes, I had noticed this. It looks like Dante forgot a circle or two.

And don't explode, I didn't bring a spare coat.

[backstabbery]

...Okay, so think back, did either of us really piss off Crawford lately, or...?

[blackmass]

That's exactly what I thought. I don't believe I did anything to him as far as I'm aware. Unless this is about that time I broke Farfarello's arm, but it's hardly as though I didn't fix it.

[drama queen]

[backstabbery]

Not like he felt it, either, the jackass.

Maybe he's mad I washed the whites with the colors again, I dunno. I don't see why he gets so pissy about it, pink looks good on him.

[blackmass]

I don't know, is it possible he failed to see this coming in advance?

[backstabbery]

Anything's possible. The question is how likely is it that Crawford would end up missing something like this?

[blackmass]

You would know the answer to that better than I would.

[backstabbery]

...He's pissed about the laundry.

Remind me to slap his stupid glasses off when we get back home.

[blackmass]

What did I do to deserve this? The laundry was your job this week.

[THESE ARE MAIN ANTAGONISTS]

[backstabbery]

Hell if I know, you probably dodged one time he was hoping to hit you in the face with a door.

[#SchwarzLife 2k15]

[blackmass]

He did it three times last week. It isn't my fault if I've come to expect it, and it certainly doesn't warrant being cast into the deepest circle of pastel and sugar hell.

[backstabbery]

That reminds me, I am fully aware that I'm still mashing my face against your incredibly broad chest, by the way, that's intentional.

You make the pastel sugar hell go away.

[blackmass]

I'm more than accustomed to you gluing yourself to me by now.

[His life is so difficult.]

Just refrain from trying to knock me over again.

[backstabbery]

You weigh like three times what I do, shut up.

More important question: have you seen the car anywhere?

[blackmass]

If I had seen it, do you really think I would be standing here instead of there waiting for you?

[Because he's fairly sure that car is a Schuldig magnet.]

[backstabbery]

...There's something really cute about that mental image, you know that?

[blackmass]

Not now, Schuldig. Spare me the sentimentality.

[backstabbery]

I'm just saying! That's like some end-of-the-movie shit, the one guy running up to the other guy already there waiting by the car.

...This place is getting to me.

[blackmass]

Really? I hadn't noticed.

[:|]