Stitch Nine - [Visual]

[topgun_textiles]

[Hey, it's this guy again. He'd traded an acoustic guitar for electric, and for a moment he's strumming a note or two to test the richness of the sound. It's just right. Well, he's clearly about to do a little ditty for everyone, but what on earth for? Was this another accident, an entry meant for someone? Don't want a song? You're welcome to close the scroll. He won't blame ya.]

[Still here? Cool. Thanks. But something's not right. Kanji does not look happy. And when he begins... he just sounds angry. Here goes.]



I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break, holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use

I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose

My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose
My head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose

I swear I'll never give in, I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

[A short break here. He's focused on the guitar, having practiced every day. But the strums are hard, the sound of someone trying their goddamned hardest not to quit in the middle. He'd come this far.]

Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession, my friend... I'm no fool.
I'm getting tired of starting again, somewhere new.

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse.

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

[The song demands a wail and he gives one in spades, hammering out the final notes before he grit his teeth. If he keeps this up he might wreck the poor instrument...]



[Then, he stops. He looks away from the 'camera', took a breath, and sets the guitar down a little less than gently- the amp makes a brief and terrible sound from the impact vibrations over the strings, and Kanji simply walks out of the frame. The feed dies a moment later.]

Comments

[visual][private]

[topgun_textiles]

That he was from the big city, for starters. It's weird, but... I got the feeling the place didn't let him grow, not like Inaba did.

Outside of battle, he was... kind. He fed the stray cats, helped the fox mama and her babies that lived next to my place. It got bad some days with all the stray cats following him or hangin' out on his uncle's house, but he didn't care. He loves cats. He was so kind to Nanako-chan, his cousin, and did everything he could for her like they were brother n' sister. He was a huge dork, but... but I mean that in a good way.

[He laughed.]

I taught him how to make oven mitt hand puppets, and a bit of a line stitch. His work was messy, but he was learning real fast. But then, he was crafty too: He liked origami, folding cranes, and I think at one point put together a couple of model robots.

He was so... mature, and free on days off. I wanted to be like him... maybe mature a little more myself.

[The breath was shaky. Were his eyes a bit shiny? They were a little glassier than usual.]

If something was bothering him, he'd tell us, and we'd follow suit, yeah? 'Cause that's what friends do. He wasn't just our leader that we leaned on, we were all a team that worked together, and if we had problems we'd work it out. Otherwise we never would've won, we never would've saved anyone.

[But his teeth grit. He looked angry again, but he was teary-eyed. The 'guy who seemed to recover the most from all of this' was simply bottling the whole time. Sorry, Minato.]

That's the fuckin' memory I have of him. That is how he is.

That is why I'm so goddamned pissed that I'm told I should just 'get over it' and forgive this piece of shit that's hardly the guy I met at all! What the hell do they know?!

[visual][private]

[verygassy]

[She doesn't respond to that. Not yet, at least. She just waits. Clearly, Kanji needs to do this. Nothing she can say right at this moment is going to help at all unless he does this.

She just nods. Go ahead, let it all out.]

[visual][private]

[topgun_textiles]

I hate it. I hate this. I feel like he's winding up to screw us all over some more like he's been doin' to us for months, and I feel like the only one who NOTICES this shit!

I notice as everybody's face darkens with the mere mention of him. I've seen every one of them cry. They all cried, blamed themselves when he's the one who screwed up and treated us all like crap. Like we don't matter.

Then at the Gala... N-naoto... she told me what I'd heard from everybody else. She fought so hard to keep a stiff upper lip, but she was... she was hurting too.

[He tried, too. But now, after slamming a hoof down on the table, he couldn't stop. Again and again, he brought it down on the table, some of the impacts joined by golden sparks. All of his frustrations, months of wondering why any of this had to happen was voiced in one long, low snarl and a few tears making a slow and steady mess of his face. His hooves lifted to what first appeared to cover his face, but no, he was fighting to wipe off his face, but he was too far gone to stop them now.]

I love my friends too damn much to let them be hurt by shit like this any more!

I love Chie-senpai! I love Yukiko-senpai! I love Teddie! I love Rise! I fuckin' love Naoto!

I love the hell out of 'em, damn it!!

Re: [visual][private]

[verygassy]

[Still she doesn't respond. She let's him do what he needs to. She's quiet.

Keep going, Kanji. Like nopony's watching.]

[visual][private]

[topgun_textiles]

Damn it, c-come on, no...

[He didn't seem to have much else to say, too busy trying to pipe down on this mess of whatever the hell he was feeling right now. Frustration? Hurt? Embarrassment? He wasn't sure. Now he covered his face and tried to calm down.]

I'm s'posed to tough this shit out...!

[visual][private]

[verygassy]

Hey!

[At this, Minako finally speaks up.]

There's nothing wrong with being honest with your emotions and thoughts. Bottling them or pretending they don't exist will only make things worse. You need to cope with this. Don't tough it out.

[She crosses her hooves together. None of this 'I'm a tough guy who can totally handle this' bull because clearly this guy is not very well at all right now.]

Let it out and face what you're feeling!

[visual][private]

[topgun_textiles]

That- that ain't it...!

[A breath:]

I know that bottling ain't good, and I admit I've been doin' that for a while. I figured that song would help me get out what I couldn't say 'cause I ain't good with voicing how I feel without comin' out wrong.

But I thought about everybody and I just... everything came out. I wanna help 'em, because... because of that stuff I said. I wanna do what I can for 'em, after everything they've done for me.

Even though I got lost in the dreams, and even if Tirek's bullshit beam got me... I can't lie down n' quit when I can still get up and do something! But I guess when ya get down to it, I shouldered too much and I was... less okay than I thought I was.

[He sighed, ran a knee over his nose, and shook his head. This time he just let his eyes run, because it was helping him feel better deep down. They may all find it strange, but by the end of the day, he was going to walk up to Chie, to Yukiko, to Teddie, to Rise and to Naoto and just... hug them for a bit. Maybe they won't understand why, but he felt it was something he needed to do.]

But I'll be okay, I think. I blew all that bad steam. I'm gonna try to help the others feel better in my own way. My friends, and... and Ponyville, too!

I'll face what I'm feeling like I faced that other me... as myself, and not an angry, pent-up coward.

[visual][private]

[verygassy]

...Good.

[She's glad. He got that much out of him. And, he's going to do what needs to be done.

Of course, there's also the reason she responded.]

Look. About that guy. Like I said, you have every right to be mad and you shouldn't be expected to just forgive him. I think its just this place...is very forgiving by its nature. The ponies here, a lot of the off-worlders, they - a lot of us - have seen what bad can happen and what other ponies are capable of, and why. Helping to redeem somepony is the right thing to do, if they can be redeemed, instead of just letting them flounder in the dark. That's what friendship is here.

It might be me, also, but...I think if there's anything left of the guy you knew back home in him, he'll come to you, somehow. Even if nopony can't see it right now, one day, I'd like to think he'll give you the closure you need on this. Right now your first priority should be like you just said, to help your friends and to let them know how you feel. Listen to them on how they feel. To get yourself and them back on track.

When the time comes for that guy to say his piece, that's when you figure out where to go from there regarding him. And when he talks to you, you make sure you let him know what his betrayal did to you. If you plan on not forgiving him, or not being his friend anymore, or if you give him that second chance, you make sure you get everything to him. Don't let anything be unsaid, right? Otherwise you'll regret something you didn't get to say, no matter what you decide.

[She stops, then awkwardly rubs her head.]

If, uh, that makes sense?

[visual][private]

[topgun_textiles]

[At first Kanji appeared slightly weary- he's ready to hear that Because Pony Land, he needed to put aside his sense of right and wrong. But he's caught by surprise by her reasoning. Closure... he wanted closure. The minute he heard that word, everything made sense. He'd been feeling like this for months, and couldn't find a way to blow the bad steam, taking up guitar, singing and everything else to express how he felt.

But it was closure he desired. He wanted it to end. He wanted everything to be clear, make his point known, and let there be no uncertainty in how he felt and how everyone else felt. Though he doubted Yu would bother speaking his piece, he couldn't ignore the possibility that he might finally say something after months of running away and hurting too goddamned many people.

Kanji's features softened. When he lifted a knee to wipe away the tear streaks, it's to alleviate the mild itch. He nodded when she seemed unsure.]

No... that sounds good, actually. Why growl about this stuff when I can just be up front and honest?

I want my friends to feel better, to be themselves again. When he wants to have a talk, then... I'll listen.

[He paused.]

You said ya had no forte in this.

[visual][private]

[verygassy]

My forte's way more romantic love than friendship. Seriously, I can think of plenty of people and ponies better at giving advice on this kind of stuff.

[Usagi's the friendship sailor. She forgave Chaos, after all.]

But...I guess there are a couple things they both have in common. The need to talk, and stuff.

[visual][private]

[topgun_textiles]

[He nodded, and then he blushed and peered out-of-frame.]

Yeah... I'm gonna try to talk to her.