1st Diversion - Action

[surpriserainbows]

[Now that she's fairly well convinced that she isn't dead and this is some bizarre afterlife/her mind's death throws, Surprise has found it kind of a necessity to get busy. If she keeps from work or from doing something for too long, she inevitably begins to ponder. And just as inevitably pondering tends to force her mind to go down some dark, dark roads she's rather keep from even setting hoof on. The question for a bit had been what to do with her time. She'd already decided going back to Cloudsdale and the Weather Factory wasn't worth it, and that for the most part she wasn't sure she could take going back and seeing what it was like in this world. But something she did know was that she needed to make money. And it was a few days ago that a plan started to form.

In the square where many of the ponies have shops and fruit stands Surprise has started her own. It's a small little wooden stand, not much different from a kid making a lemonade stand, though it at least seems more sturdily built. The sign on the top of the stand, written in white paint, reads "REPAIR AND PAWN SHOP".

Anyone bothering to really look at the sign will notice in much smaller and neater letters under the main sign has been written "All sales final prices subject to change". It's not particularly reassuring, but hey at least she said it outright. Sort of.

As for the stand itself, it seems to have several very simple mechanical goods scattered on it and around it: alarm clocks, watches, a toaster or two, some of those stupid mechanical bobbing birds that drink water. Most of it was junk Surprise had found around town and managed to repair. It had, in fact, been finding and repairing it that gave her the idea to even try this.

As for Surprise herself, she's wearing an incredibly loud purple suit and tophat. She isn't exactly the best salesman, however, as her plan to draw attention seems to just be pointing at random ponies passing by on the street and shouting.

Right now she seems to be trying to pass off one of the many, many little mechanical drinking birds she has.]

Hey, you know what you need? You need this little guy right here! Wow, just look at him go! I mean, I guess you could see him drinking water if I actually had a glass of water, but if I did oh man he'd be drinking that water so much it'd be crazy!

...Okay, so you don't like the one little mechanical bird. Okay, okay! How about....

Two mechanical birds! Wow! Can you believe how crazy it's getting here?

[Her sales pitch could use a bit of help.]

Comments

icon words are surprisingly appropriate in this case

[polyturtle]

[Oh hey, there's a pony trotting over to inspect the goods! And Surprise didn't even have to point at him for it!

...And when we say inspect we mean he's really inspecting and examining them. Indeed, he looks like he's trying really, really hard not to take them apart himself.]

[surpriserainbows]

Hey! Take a look-

[Oh, you're already looking around. Really, really intently. Surprise assumes that's good! She also assume's that if Donatello is actually interested, what she has on the counter won't do.

She brushes away a little space, knocking a few watches and one of those stupid birds over the side.]

You look like you want something and I know something you'd want!

[Surprise ducks her head behind the counter for a moment, and when she returns she's gently holding a phonograph by the styli in her mouth, which she puts on the counter of her little ramshackle store.]

Neat huh! I found it yesterday!

[polyturtle]

Woah--

[He manages to catch everything before it all falls onto the ground. When he looks back up, he sees the phonograph.]

...Actually, I wanted to ask about the watches and birds. Did you repair these? And where did you find them?

[surpriserainbows]

[...Huh? Well. Alright. The guy is just curious. Surprise supposes she can deal with that.]

What these? Oh yeah man. Most of the stuff I found in the garbage, or, you know, here and there...

[Here and there meaning she found it outside unattended. No one seemed to be claiming it so hey. To the shop it meant.]

I mean for a small town Ponyville has some nice stuff. But yeah man I fixed it. I worked at the Weather Factory back where I'm from. Or, uh. My version of this world, you know?

[polyturtle]

Really?

[He blinked, and...actually smiled a little.]

So you dumpster dive for stuff too? And you fix it?

[Action]

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

[Trixie was walking by. She looks at Surprise... unsurprised.]

...Trixie deems that your sales pitch is less than satisfactory.

[Action]

[surpriserainbows]

[Oh. You're the loudmouthed unicorn who was babbling on about saving Equestria from whatever. It annoys Surprise that the loudmouth, of all people, would say she has a bad sales pitch.

Usually most sane people would ask what that person would suggest to improve their sales pitch. Surprise's pride, however...]

Yeah, well. That's your opinion. Just keep walking by if you don't like it.

[Action]

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

[Trixie haughtily giggles.]

Trixie thinks you should take a page out of the mare that graces your very eyes. Her shows have been successful, and her advertising has something to do with it.

: [Action]

[surpriserainbows]

[This is ridiculous. Who does this bonehead think she is? Thinking she's just all that because of her stupid magic. And her shows...

Well, Surprise can't really say anything about Trixie's shows. In fact if she was being objective she can't really say anything about Trixie. All she knows is that Trixie is a unicorn.

And to Surprise, that was enough. Help from another Pegasus? She would take. For an earth pony? Maybe begrudgingly. But from a unicorn, let alone one this obnoxious? No way she isn't tolerating that.]

You know what? Don't think our clientele would be too much the same! So hey I'm pretty sure I'm fine!

[Action]

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Nonsense. You wish to amass a crowd of loyal purchasers? The Great and Powerful Trixie has an exceedingly generous heart and shall show you how to properly advertise.

[She clears her throat and turns away from surprise. She's about to say something, but she stop and turns back to the white pegasus.]

Trixie knows not what your name is.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Knick-knacks and random crap, huh?

Perfect!

[Apparently meaning that entirely sincerely, the Overlord bulls his way up to the counter.]

Let's see your stuff.

[surpriserainbows]

[Oh good a customer. Surprise nudges a few of the pieces of assorted nonsense she's found a bit forward.]

Hey man I got everything you could ever want! I got little mechanical birds. I got watches. I got alarm clocks.....clocks without alarms....alarms without clocks....

You know! I just got everything!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

An alarm, huh? What kind? Bells and stuff?

[That sounds like a good defensive-caster type in the making.]

[surpriserainbows]

Yeah see-

[Surprise ducks her head down a little behind her counter, bringing a small box with two bells on either side of it.]

See, I'd think you could like attach it to a lock or something and have a current going into it, so if someone opened the door while it was locked it'd go off!

Uh, I'm still not fully sure how to do the current part. I'm more mechanical than electrical.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I don't care about that crap! This alarm will serve the Overlord far more gloriously than as a makeshift doodad!

[tinkertytonk]

[Bertie glances behind himself for a moment when Surprise points at him. As no one else is stopping, he approaches. Did he really need a... mechanical bird? This finely fitted filly in the top hat sounds awfully sure. He'd never thought about it.]

He does look a lively sort of lark. Does he take anything apart from water, though? I'm more partial to a whiskey and soda, myself.

[surpriserainbows]

Well I'm pretty sure the little guy could drink anything! He just loves drinking, you know? Just does it all day!

But between you and me man, I wouldn't give him too much. Or at least give him some water afterwards, cause the alcohol might clog its pipes a bit more than water. You know, like it would with anyone else!

[tinkertytonk]

It actually drinks? Hah! How quaint! I thought you were joking, old girl.

[He eyes the other items on the table.]

Fairly eclectic sort of lot you have here.

[surpriserainbows]

Eh, sort of.

Oh you know it! You know what man, you seem like you got a real eye for quality, so have I got something for you!

[And she bends down behind her little counter to bring a phonograph up, putting it front and center on her storefront.]

Nice, huh?

And tell you what! I will give it to you for, oh....half-price!

[tinkertytonk]

[Bertie's face lights up at the sight of the phonograph.]

Half-price? Really? Oh, that's awfully kind of you, Miss... erm. Sorry, I don't believe I caught your name. Mine's Bertie. Bertie Wooster.

[soulofblue]

[And here's another pony trotting closer to observe. A potential buyer? He lifts a hoof to point to one of the (hypothetically) drinking birds.]

What is it for?

[surpriserainbows]

[What is it for?

She never really thought of having to explain that. And saying "wasting time" isn't exactly a great answer.]

Oh, you know, it's-

Who doesn't love birds?! And man, it's got a top hat on? That's crazy! What kinda bird wears a top hat you know! That bird loves fashion and water it's a win win situation!

[That answered absolutely nothing but hey. She tried.]

[soulofblue]

[...yeah, that totally didn't answer anything.]

I...see. Well, it's certainly a very nice bird?

[surpriserainbows]

Yeeeaaaah he's great!

....You wanna buy one? Cause, like, I have a few trashcans full of these things. I dunno if someone was just selling them like crazy a while back or what but hey!

If you missed out you can buy one here!

[soulofblue]

You're selling these out of trash cans? Isn't that unsanitary? [Seriously, isn't it? He didn't pay all that much attention to germs and things when he was a robot.]