ponymeisters: (Default)
The My Little Jamjar Mods ([personal profile] ponymeisters) wrote in [community profile] mylittlejamjar2014-01-05 12:05 am

HOOVESWEEK 5

[Morning, Equestrians! It’s that time again, and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!]




Queen Chrysalis is at last fallen! But in her place, a new changeling queen has claimed the throne. Is she really sincere about peace, or are we going to see another invasion from those beastly insects who have caused nothing but trouble since the royal wedding? And for that matter, can we trust the off-worlders who have been threatening Equestria since the beginning of Nightmare Night?


Other Top Stories Include:
Title: A Frightful Nightmare Night
by Lamin King

Title: Alicorns Gone Wild! A Night in Los Pegasus
by Hunter S. Topline

Title: Honey and Vinegar: Use In Case of An Emergency
by Dan Knacker

Title: Tom Shanks and The Great Equestrian Movie
by Horse Greeley


BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-A report that Pinkie Pie has created a monster! Our science editor discusses the birth of the creature called Princess Pumice and what it means for the idea of "life" itself.
-A look at the crazy fog which plagued Ponyville. Cloudsdale's weather czar has announced a possible connection between the fog and the disappearing clouds that have now been reported as far west as Appaloosa.
-A report on PONIES RISING FROM THE DEAD. What is that even about? Are they pony-phoenix hybrids? Also, one of the murdered is a murderer and living now on the Ponyville commune. Seems like a dangerous place.
-An opinion piece defending Discord and his crazy antics over the past few months, hinting that his motivation was...love?
-Another op-ed on the sudden influx of off-worlder dragons. Are they getting more dangerous? They certainly seem to be doing something! And why are they harassing kitties?
-A further report on the disappearance of needed rainclouds. The problem seems to be spreading to Baltimare and Hollow Shades now, with local authorities stumped.
-Proof positive of the steamy relationship between Iron Liz and Harvey Finevoice. A kiss and a proposal happened; is a wedding not far behind?
-A review of the best Hearth's Warming gifts from this year around Equestria, including crystalberry jam and the latest installment of Daring Do! Just watch out for that grinch of an 'evil overlord', lest he try and steal them from you!
-Travel and foaleign news (or is it?) is reporting the shocking existence of moon ponies. Not only this, but said mysterious off-world ponies have begun opening up trade and tourism channels through several countries, including Griffaltar and Great Bridle. We're here to give an exclusive review of what to do, what to see, and how anypony can now experience this new frontier through an affordable international intermediary!
-A retrospective of Manehatten's Winter Fashion Week. Included is a profile on the winner of this year's couture contest, 國辔 of Galloxia*, and pictures of the first-timer's out-of-this-world designs and even crazier shoes.

So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!


*"Guo Pei", in Seres script, aka the writing system of Galloxia.

((OOC: As usual, feel free to react, or comment on those stories, or even make up seeing others in this issue!

Original picture credit is here.))
robotfightclub: ([kittencee] pout)

[personal profile] robotfightclub 2014-01-05 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
[Did someone say robot cat? How about robot cats right behind Marty's.

Somehow...]


Relax, it said dragons.

[She still doesn't believe Marty is one. He is clearly a newt.]
thepoweroflove: (Roll eyes)

[personal profile] thepoweroflove 2014-01-05 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
What the..?

[How did you get here so fast.]

I told you, I'm pretty sure I'm a dragon.
robotfightclub: ([kittencee] cute cute cute cutjsdhgjkd)

[personal profile] robotfightclub 2014-01-05 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
[She has this stupid speedy stealth problem. It happens.]

And I told you, I'm pretty sure you aren't. And by the looks of things? Magazine agrees. You said it yourself, you weren't harassing me.
thepoweroflove: (Unconvinced)

[personal profile] thepoweroflove 2014-01-05 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe I'm one of the exceptions, who knows?
robotfightclub: (Happy girl)

[personal profile] robotfightclub 2014-01-05 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
Don't think it mention exceptions, kiddo.
thepoweroflove: (I would really like context now)

[personal profile] thepoweroflove 2014-01-05 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
But it would be really dumb if the article was "all the dragons are harassing Arcee except Marty"

[In fact he'd be kinda creeped out how they already know his name.]
robotfightclub: ([kittencee] pout)

[personal profile] robotfightclub 2014-01-05 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
I don't actually remember being harassed. For all we know, they're talking about some other cat.

[Although Optimus is the only other she's aware of...

Oh well, it's not like she'll know every single person in town. It has to be someone else.]


So there. It's not about either of us.
thepoweroflove: (Roll eyes)

[personal profile] thepoweroflove 2014-01-07 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Alright, got it.

Still I wonder what the hell they were talking about. You'd think that a dragon harassing a cat would be pretty noticeable here.