HOOVESWEEK 5

[ponymeisters]

[Morning, Equestrians! It’s that time again, and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!]




Queen Chrysalis is at last fallen! But in her place, a new changeling queen has claimed the throne. Is she really sincere about peace, or are we going to see another invasion from those beastly insects who have caused nothing but trouble since the royal wedding? And for that matter, can we trust the off-worlders who have been threatening Equestria since the beginning of Nightmare Night?

Other Top Stories Include:
Title: A Frightful Nightmare Night
by Lamin King

Title: Alicorns Gone Wild! A Night in Los Pegasus
by Hunter S. Topline

Title: Honey and Vinegar: Use In Case of An Emergency
by Dan Knacker

Title: Tom Shanks and The Great Equestrian Movie
by Horse Greeley


BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-A report that Pinkie Pie has created a monster! Our science editor discusses the birth of the creature called Princess Pumice and what it means for the idea of "life" itself.
-A look at the crazy fog which plagued Ponyville. Cloudsdale's weather czar has announced a possible connection between the fog and the disappearing clouds that have now been reported as far west as Appaloosa.
-A report on PONIES RISING FROM THE DEAD. What is that even about? Are they pony-phoenix hybrids? Also, one of the murdered is a murderer and living now on the Ponyville commune. Seems like a dangerous place.
-An opinion piece defending Discord and his crazy antics over the past few months, hinting that his motivation was...love?
-Another op-ed on the sudden influx of off-worlder dragons. Are they getting more dangerous? They certainly seem to be doing something! And why are they harassing kitties?
-A further report on the disappearance of needed rainclouds. The problem seems to be spreading to Baltimare and Hollow Shades now, with local authorities stumped.
-Proof positive of the steamy relationship between Iron Liz and Harvey Finevoice. A kiss and a proposal happened; is a wedding not far behind?
-A review of the best Hearth's Warming gifts from this year around Equestria, including crystalberry jam and the latest installment of Daring Do! Just watch out for that grinch of an 'evil overlord', lest he try and steal them from you!
-Travel and foaleign news (or is it?) is reporting the shocking existence of moon ponies. Not only this, but said mysterious off-world ponies have begun opening up trade and tourism channels through several countries, including Griffaltar and Great Bridle. We're here to give an exclusive review of what to do, what to see, and how anypony can now experience this new frontier through an affordable international intermediary!
-A retrospective of Manehatten's Winter Fashion Week. Included is a profile on the winner of this year's couture contest, 國辔 of Galloxia*, and pictures of the first-timer's out-of-this-world designs and even crazier shoes.

So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!

*"Guo Pei", in Seres script, aka the writing system of Galloxia.

((OOC: As usual, feel free to react, or comment on those stories, or even make up seeing others in this issue!

Original picture credit is here.))

Comments

[robotfightclub]

[Oh, hey Crmsn. Thanks for almost giving her a heart attack.]

Huh? No, just some of them.

...One of them.

It's not even that bad, I'd rather get my hands on Starscream than whatever-his-name-is. Preferably around his neck.

[Just thinking about it makes her chitter under her breath. Birds.]

[theytookmypants]

[When you're quieter than the cat, you know you've still got your skills in tact. In other words, you're welcome Arcee.]

I'm guessing they're....a less than friendly from your home?

[He pauses briefly.]

Is this Starscream here?

[robotfightclub]

Unfortunately.

[Her tail swishes in irritation.]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but he's not even my Starscream. Doesn't feel right.

[theytookmypants]

...must have done something pretty nasty to make you say that.

[He'd chuckle, but he can't manage it really.]

What'd these guys do anyways?

[robotfightclub]

[You sure you want to know, Crmsn? You really wanna know?]

Kill my planet.

[Now you know.]

[theytookmypants]

Oh....um........oh.

[Oh....]

I'm sorry.

[robotfightclub]

[Yeah, good job Crmsn. She flicks her tail.]

It's bad enough I have to be here. It's even worse having to be here with them. Can't even do scrap about it...

[theytookmypants]

[He sighs deeply and looks off. Way to murder the mood dude.]

On one hoof. Yeah. It sucks...on another, we all need to make do with what we got here. Maybe there's some lesson to be learned in all of this?

[Hopeful optimism go?]

At the very least. They're just as stuck here....and being shown up by one helluva cat I might add.

[robotfightclub]

[Cue Arcee giving him one doubtful, if not suspicious, look.]

Where do you think you're going with this?

[theytookmypants]

[Hopefully to cracked smiles and at the very least a smirk or a scoff.]

From what it sounded like you were giving them a harder time than they were giving you...and judging by the fact that you're still here and in one piece, one can assume, all saying aside, that they didn't get the better of you out of it. However if their presence is what's bugging you, then they're winning one over on you...however if you don't, they lose the psychological battle and have nothing to horde over you and have nothing to...taunt you...with...

[He gives weak smile. Then clears his throat. Because rambling was obviously the proper response here.]

Sorry. Too much?

[robotfightclub]

[...]

I'm not about to change my mind over someone who wants to burn down where I live.

[It's not like she can't get along with 'Cons. Her and Convoy hit it off great. Starscream's an asshole and this other guy is a Vehicon. Those aren't people, Crmsn. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.]

[theytookmypants]

[He'll get it one day...just maybe not today.]

I'm not saying change your mind, I'm saying don't let them get to you. At least not right now. Getting upset over them being stuck in the same space as you is just going to lead to a lot of high tensions and probably a lot of mistakes.

[And irritability, not that it's not warranted, but c'mon, they just got over an invasion.]

[robotfightclub]

[...


...



......]

Nope, still angry.

[theytookmypants]

Try counting down from ten maybe?

[Crmsn laughs softly and shrugs helplessly.]

Just so long as no trouble is being stirred for at least another 24 hours...and you're still allowed to vent about them, just don't get up in their face about it. We can beat them up tomorrow for being jerks, just not today.

[robotfightclub]

[Someone might be rolling her eyes.]

I'm starting to think you're not giving me enough credit. FYI? I don't attack first.

[theytookmypants]

Well in your own words.

[He clears his throat doing his best catcee impression.]

"Apparently you're not harassing enough."

[There's not enough bemused smug in the world to accurately depict his expression, but he's sure trying.]

[robotfightclub]

Harassing isn't the same as attacking. Just as long as I keep my paws off.

[Meaning she's going to be as annoying as she pleases, thank you very much. She wouldn't be much of a cat if she didn't.]

[theytookmypants]

[There's a mock gasp.]

Was...Was that bemused snark I just heard? No...not from Blue.

[He chuckles.]

Just don't go inciting any fighting without me. I'd hate to miss out on all the fun.

[robotfightclub]

Watch it, Red, or you'll be the first.

[Joking? Probably joking.]

[theytookmypants]

Aww, does Cee got a case of the rumblies? She wanna throw down?

[Notice he didn't say Kitty, he does have enough sense not to actually incite her into fury.

But hey, if he can distract her from Decepticons...win-win right?]

Gonna put your paws where your mouth is or keep talkin'?

[Playful goading is always the best route right?]

[robotfightclub]

[Crmsn...why?]

Do you really wanna test me? I spent the past days taking down Changelings like they were nothing, I am not in the mood.

[Arcee, are you ever in the mood?]

[theytookmypants]

[Cause someone has to harass the cats, and it's certainly not the Decepticons.]

What did you think I was doing that whole time? Lounging poolside sipping at Mai Tais?

[He was fighting the queen, he'll have you know.]