mylittlejamjar | HOOVESWEEK 5

[Morning, Equestrians! It’s that time again, and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!]

Queen Chrysalis is at last fallen! But in her place, a new changeling queen has claimed the throne. Is she really sincere about peace, or are we going to see another invasion from those beastly insects who have caused nothing but trouble since the royal wedding? And for that matter, can we trust the off-worlders who have been threatening Equestria since the beginning of Nightmare Night?

Other Top Stories Include:
Title: A Frightful Nightmare Night
by Lamin King

Title: Alicorns Gone Wild! A Night in Los Pegasus
by Hunter S. Topline

Title: Honey and Vinegar: Use In Case of An Emergency
by Dan Knacker

Title: Tom Shanks and The Great Equestrian Movie
by Horse Greeley

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-A report that Pinkie Pie has created a monster! Our science editor discusses the birth of the creature called Princess Pumice and what it means for the idea of "life" itself.
-A look at the crazy fog which plagued Ponyville. Cloudsdale's weather czar has announced a possible connection between the fog and the disappearing clouds that have now been reported as far west as Appaloosa.
-A report on PONIES RISING FROM THE DEAD. What is that even about? Are they pony-phoenix hybrids? Also, one of the murdered is a murderer and living now on the Ponyville commune. Seems like a dangerous place.
-An opinion piece defending Discord and his crazy antics over the past few months, hinting that his motivation was...love?
-Another op-ed on the sudden influx of off-worlder dragons. Are they getting more dangerous? They certainly seem to be doing something! And why are they harassing kitties?
-A further report on the disappearance of needed rainclouds. The problem seems to be spreading to Baltimare and Hollow Shades now, with local authorities stumped.
-Proof positive of the steamy relationship between Iron Liz and Harvey Finevoice. A kiss and a proposal happened; is a wedding not far behind?
-A review of the best Hearth's Warming gifts from this year around Equestria, including crystalberry jam and the latest installment of Daring Do! ~~Just watch out for that grinch of an 'evil overlord', lest he try and steal them from you!~~
-Travel and foaleign news (or is it?) is reporting the shocking existence of moon ponies. Not only this, but said mysterious off-world ponies have begun opening up trade and tourism channels through several countries, including Griffaltar and Great Bridle. We're here to give an exclusive review of what to do, what to see, and how anypony can now experience this new frontier through an affordable international intermediary!
-A retrospective of Manehatten's Winter Fashion Week. Included is a profile on the winner of this year's couture contest, 國辔 of Galloxia*, and pictures of the first-timer's out-of-this-world designs and even crazier shoes.

So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!

*"Guo Pei", in Seres script, aka the writing system of Galloxia.

((OOC: As usual, feel free to react, or comment on those stories, or even make up seeing others in this issue!

Original picture credit is here.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why can't I? What's to stop me? Besides, it's fun to watch you get frustrated. All that perfect composure on-stage means getting your goat off it is all the sweeter.

You-...

[She seethes for a few seconds.]

...Then as of right now, you are never to frustrate Trixie again! To do so would be folly!

You got it. I will never frustrate the Trix Rabbit again. As soon as his ass shows up, he's getting more of his damn cereal than he can eat in a week.

[...]

I meant myself!

YOU'RE the Trix Rabbit?!

Holy crap!

[Dear Princess Celestia, today Trixie learned that telling Zetta not to frustrate her doesn't work.]

I wasn't talking about any-

[Trixie facehoofs.]

...You're doing this on purpose.

What did I just say about how much fun watching your composure crack is?

[Maybe this is the price of having a very good audience member. He behaves perfectly during the shows, at least?]

That's because you're annoying.

[Trixie sighs.]

...At least you somehow manage o behave yourself during my shows...

I like your shows. Interrupting them would spoil them.

[Trixie smirks as she really hopes this works.]

...Then deem Trixie to be putting on a special show for you from now on. An indefinite... neigh, a permanent show!

[Hmm. A pretty good move. This called for a different tactic.]

I'd really rather not. I'd hate for the fourth wall to forever stand between me and such a stylish showmare.

Trixie sees no reason why none should stand. You enjoy Trixie's shows, and she loathes you being annoying. 'Tis but a win-win for the both of us, is it not?

And you wouldn't mind keeping up the act? 24/7, constantly, never able to let down your barriers? You won't let yourself just be a mare once in a while?

That's the sort of thing that leads to snapping like a twig, y'know.

Such a thing has never happened to Trixie before. Not even since before she reached the appropriate age to be considered an adult!

[In other words... This is her default personality.]

[Oh, he knows.]

It hasn't? Except you didn't take too well to having some real damage dealt to your image, did you?

No... but Trixie fails to see your point. As you and many others have said, her image hasn't been in any recent danger. Nor had she ever "snapped" in the past, as you so put it.

Then look at me as a stretch for your dramatic range. A lesson in improvisation!

Look, just because Trixie handed you that one free participation into one of Trixie's shows doesn't mean you are to be a regular addition.

Maybe... but a boring, predictable life doesn't make for good stories, Trix.

[...Okay, yeah, you walked right into this one. Trixie smirks.]

Exactly! Which is only why you get one and only one show with Trixie!

That's a show. I said life. Just because all the world is your stage doesn't mean you're always on-stage!

Isn't life but a show of ups and downs?

If it's a show, the actors don't know they're playing their parts, and the entire thing is ad-libbed, badly!

Ah, but you play your part as the escaped mental patient with aspirations of taking over Ponyville admirably!

[Trixie is definitely teasing right now.]

Trust me, if I was just playing a role, I'd ham it up more, and yes, that's possible.

[Visual]

cape_and_wizard_hat - 2014-01-10 18:46 (UTC) - Expand

badassfreakingoverlord - 2014-01-11 20:13 (UTC) - Expand

[Private Visual]

cape_and_wizard_hat - 2014-01-11 20:45 (UTC) - Expand

badassfreakingoverlord - 2014-01-12 04:38 (UTC) - Expand

cape_and_wizard_hat - 2014-01-12 04:47 (UTC) - Expand

badassfreakingoverlord - 2014-01-13 14:16 (UTC) - Expand

cape_and_wizard_hat - 2014-01-14 21:35 (UTC) - Expand

badassfreakingoverlord - 2014-01-15 14:16 (UTC) - Expand

cape_and_wizard_hat - 2014-01-15 22:15 (UTC) - Expand

badassfreakingoverlord - 2014-01-16 13:50 (UTC) - Expand

cape_and_wizard_hat - 2014-01-16 21:16 (UTC) - Expand

badassfreakingoverlord - 2014-01-17 16:04 (UTC) - Expand

cape_and_wizard_hat - 2014-01-17 22:50 (UTC) - Expand

badassfreakingoverlord - 2014-01-18 19:33 (UTC) - Expand