Pinkie Pie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sailorlaughter) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mylittlejamjar2014-05-10 02:27 am
sailorlaughter) wrote in mylittlejamjar2014-05-10 02:27 am
Noovesweek Special Report #1
[HOLY CELESTIA IT'S A GRIZZLY BEAR! A GRIZZLY BEAR IN A CLASSY SUIT-AND-TIE COMBO!]
Good evening, nation. It's me, Stephen the Bear, bringing you the first of our new series: Noovesweek Special Reports! This is a serious one, my friends, so put on your serious hats and meet me at Scroll Three.
[He turns to the side, apparently now being viewed by a different scroll.]
Some of you seem to come from worlds with some weird ideas about romance. Particularly the kind with stallions and stallions or mares and mares. So I'm here to sprinkle some good old-fashioned Equestrian truth-sauce on you: it doesn't matter if someone likes stallions or mares. Love is love, and making other people feel bad about who they're in love with is just plain un-Equestrian. It'd be like if I liked blueberry pie, but Applejack liked apple pie, and I told everyone she was a bad pony because of it! Who am I to stand between Applejack and her delicious, beloved apples, am I right? Let me tell you - it would take a far braver bear than me to do anything like that. That mare can really kick.
So from now on...
[He pulls a board out from somewhere, tiny in his massive claws. It reads:
ON NOTICE:
Racism
The thing where people act like they're the bosses of other people's dating
]
...that kind of behavior is officially on notice.
Good evening, nation. It's me, Stephen the Bear, bringing you the first of our new series: Noovesweek Special Reports! This is a serious one, my friends, so put on your serious hats and meet me at Scroll Three.
[He turns to the side, apparently now being viewed by a different scroll.]
Some of you seem to come from worlds with some weird ideas about romance. Particularly the kind with stallions and stallions or mares and mares. So I'm here to sprinkle some good old-fashioned Equestrian truth-sauce on you: it doesn't matter if someone likes stallions or mares. Love is love, and making other people feel bad about who they're in love with is just plain un-Equestrian. It'd be like if I liked blueberry pie, but Applejack liked apple pie, and I told everyone she was a bad pony because of it! Who am I to stand between Applejack and her delicious, beloved apples, am I right? Let me tell you - it would take a far braver bear than me to do anything like that. That mare can really kick.
So from now on...
[He pulls a board out from somewhere, tiny in his massive claws. It reads:
ON NOTICE:
Racism
The thing where people act like they're the bosses of other people's dating
]
...that kind of behavior is officially on notice.
[Visual]
Y-Y-You can date pie?!
[Visual]
And really, around here anything is possible. Try talking to the pie first. Ask about its interests or hobbies. If you have things in common with the pie, maybe invite it out for coffee! Just don't order pie with your coffee. That'd be awkward.
[Visual]
[And don't even get him started on pie's betrayer, cheesecake.]
Now if you'll excuse me, I got a bearkery to go to.