[Oh look, it's Zecora, whose hut has taken on a distinctly Nightmare Before Christmas aesthetic thanks to a few Hearth's Warming decorations being mixed in with her masks, cauldrons, and supplies. But Zecora herself looks sinister and ominous in the green light of a bubbling brew, and deeply serious indeed.]

I believe the time has come
To give you all a message from
A sinsiter place to us:
The depths of Tartarus.

For those of you who heard the story
That Celestia in all her glory
Told to us of the Pale Pony,
This may clear up uncertainty.

The Pale Pony -- the true one,
Not she who captured us for fun,
But the true figure of which legends speak
Is somepony we ought to seek.

For her existence may indeed be fact.
This new knowledge that we have lacked
May explain many mysteries
Littered throughout our histories.

She may be the one who hid the Tree
Which bore the Elements of Harmony.
So she may not be quite on our side
But against one foe, we may be allied.

Keep this in mind and seek more clues.
This fight is one we must not lose.

So, the Equestrian Film Festival is due to start this coming weekend and... it's only just now come to me that no cinema experience is complete without the proper snacks. And while I understand that it's unlikely to get a good hotdog around here, I'd still appreciate some local Ponyville flavor being brought to the silver screen.

Would any of you resident snackmakers and cooks out there be willing to come and help make and sell food, candies, popcorn, and other various refreshments at the festival? I'm sure it'd drum up some fantastic sales, and help boost word for your business.

[This is Harvey, holding what looks like a very official letter in one hoof. It's even on gilded paper, look at it! Without preamble, he asks:]

Anyone else heard of the "Hammys"?

[He's not sure if this is some kind of elaborate prank or the worst pun this world has thrown at him yet.]

Freaky Friday. Originally based on a children's book from 1972, the movie adaptation came out in 1976 to some fairly high acclaim. One of Gary Nelson's few film forays as a director... he's more known for directing TV series. But he seemed to hit on something good with this film, Zach. One of the original body-swapping stories, it's the one that took root in popular culture as the go-to term for the event.

And it seems like Ponyville's been graced by its tropes today. [Helpful as ever, York.]

For some reason, it's decided to pass over me, but something tells me the rest of you may need some information on who has swapped with who. I'll do my best to keep track of everything. Let me know who you are and who you've swapped with.

((OOC: Consider this a sort of open post discussing the various swaps. Threadjacks abound!))

Zach, are you awake? You haven't been talking to me, lately.

[It's late at night. People are either asleep or heading that way.]

I know we've been here... for a while. Since October. It's almost been a year.

[Sounds like somebody's scroll is acting up.]

What do you think is going to happen? I bet George would get a kick out of me accidentally walking on 4 legs when I get back.

[And they're monologuing.]

If we get back. Do you think there's a chance we won't?

... no, me neither. One way or another, we'll see Greenvale again. Whether it's the same Greenvale we left or not, well... that might be up to fate to decide.

Did you notice? I haven't needed to smoke for a while. There hasn't been any reason to. I know you always hated it, so... maybe you can finally get off of my back about that, huh, Zach?

I still have a few left, though. From April. In case of emergency... if I have to profile again. But the scale of incidents here is usually much higher than just "murder". So, my skills haven't had to come into play.

... a little out of place, yes. But... I've managed to survive here thus far. Nearly a year, Zach. Think you've got another one in you?

I thought so.

[Some shuffling, then the audio cuts out.]

I know with... the current events this may not be exactly the best time, but I'm planning a little bit of a film festival for the future. To that end, I'd like to let you all know that there will be a film contest to be held for short movies, which will be screened to the public. There will also be public viewings of movies with... bigger budgets, to say the least. [Because "better" might not exactly apply here.]

Just letting you all know. Feel free to suggest movies you might like to see, Equestrian or otherwise, and I'll take any suggestions into consideration.

Thank you.

[Private to Alastor]

Alastor, I remember talking with you about your movie collection... do you think you could show it to me? Might need to borrow some stuff, with your permission, of course.

[It's about two hours after the appearance of the Pale Pony, and everything that came with it. You might think that things would calm down again, but no.

This time, Flare Star fires up a scroll that she basically pulled straight away from Dust and starts talking, about as seriously as many ponies have ever heard out of her - the exceptions being Queen Chrysalis (who got to hear the tone when she was attacking the pegasus) and Zecora (whom she helped during Nightmare Night).]

The cards've been played. I don't know what kind of feeling that was that I felt back there, but I know it is evil. No more playing around, no more wasting time trying to understand.

I'm not saying that we don't still need to research this nag, far from it. In fact, we need to centralize our research, so that everypony has the same access to it. It's only right in times of war to allow your soldiers to know of the enemy they fight.

She pulls us all in at random, focusing on those with powers, and then every month, she culls. A few more get drawn into her, possibly for keeps. By standing before us today, by proving that she exists, she has declared war. Not on Equestria, but on every last one of our worlds.

Buck compassion, and buck caring for a pony so far gone that she'll steal souls for her own gain.

She needs to die.

Who's with me?

I understand that there's been a few new faces in the community that I've yet to see, so let me use this chance to introduce myself to any newcomers that may not know me.

I'm FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan. Please, call me York. That's what everyone calls me. [Complete with requisite badge flashing to the scroll!] I currently reside at the commune, though most of my time is spent either walking the streets of Ponyville and the Night Market, or enjoying some of the local coffee.

[Seriously, he's probably spent so much time here that the baristas just have cups ready for him at any time.] Though my specialty is in serial homicide and criminal profiling, the... more friendly nature of Equestria has meant that I'm opening up my investigative skills to wider areas. If there's ever any need for my talents, please let me know. I will most likely be more than happy to help.

[And for the entire day, he's open for contact! Either over the scrolls, or face-to-face over a cup of java.]

[It was night when Luna arrived back in Ponyville, and the first thing she did - in disguise as Dream Weaver, of course - was to buy a newspaper for no other reason than to check the date. After that it was a short time spent reconfirming that yes, this was the Equestria she thought it was - nowhere else would have the Night Market, after all - and trying to gather her thoughts over a coffee.

Yes, a coffee. It would be scandalous, if she didn't make it a point to avoid detection at all times. She's gotten better at that since she left... though it may be that one brighter star lurking right behind her mane making such things a reality.

When all is said and done, though, it's somewhere close to midnight when the scroll comes to life, the princess having not remembered to drop the disguise spell.]

This is Luna of the Night Market. Sixty days has been dilated into approximately six hundred.

We require an immediate report on the current situation of this Equestria, as well as a list of all who have vanished and who have arrived in our absence.

York, can I speak with you? About the Night Market

((backdated to shortly after Dash's delivery announcement.))

Attention, Ponyville citizens. It's been made clear to me that the non-native Princess Luna has recently been reported missing for longer than is normally expected.

To this end, such that her efforts are not left without management, I will be temporarily taking over authority of the Night Market and its operations. [Which probably means staying in the main office for a few days, at least. And sleeping there. If he remembers what sleep is.]

I will try my best to keep it running as smoothly as it has been since its founding. Any questions can be addressed directly to me.

Thank you for your time.

Um...has anyone seen Princess Luna? The one who founded the Night Market, I mean?

[Pollo looks uneasy, and probably not just because of a robotic bat currently trying to cling to his face and hide in his mane all at once. Although he definitely has one of those.]

Umbra showed up on the commune today, I think she was lost. Princess, I have her now...if you're seeing this. [Please be seeing this?]

Judging by the 400 percent increase in parent-related whining over the past day or so, it must be Fathers' Day. Ah, Fathers' Day. A good ol' corporate-created 'holiday' used to spur quickly regretted purchases of flashy bicycle parts and malfunctioning outdoor grills. And cold ones. I mean, I wouldn't say no to one of those. I could pretend to be someone's dad for one of those.
( ranting ahoy! )

[The scrolls, capricious as always, seem to flicker to life, showing a hilltop and sky. Well, maybe something like that, considering it's rotated 90° the wrong way... or it's more likely that the scroll is just lying on its side. Anyway, the tattered cuffs of a familiar pony's suit can be seen on the "top" of the picture, and beyond the hill, a small graveyard. From somewhere off screen, there's the sound of inhalation and exhalation, as the wind carries a puff of smoke backwards. Looks like it's another candid broadcast...]

It's been... what, over 20 years, Zach? 20 years since I saw my father... never imagined I'd be spending the holiday here, like this. [There's a wry, but ultimately sad chuckle.] Sorry I haven't kept up, Dad. I suppose this is the least I can do.

[The wind shifts the scroll a bit to show another tree, with the words BRIAN XANDER MORGAN crudely carved into the bark, and a "bouquet" of random wildflowers laid at the roots.

The view changes violently as the scroll is picked up, with only a single "Damnit." being uttered before the broadcast is stopped.]

[HOLY CELESTIA IT'S A GRIZZLY BEAR! A GRIZZLY BEAR IN A CLASSY SUIT-AND-TIE COMBO!]

Good evening, nation. It's me, Stephen the Bear, bringing you the first of our new series: Noovesweek Special Reports! This is a serious one, my friends, so put on your serious hats and meet me at Scroll Three.

[He turns to the side, apparently now being viewed by a different scroll.]

Some of you seem to come from worlds with some weird ideas about romance. Particularly the kind with stallions and stallions or mares and mares. So I'm here to sprinkle some good old-fashioned Equestrian truth-sauce on you: it doesn't matter if someone likes stallions or mares. Love is love, and making other people feel bad about who they're in love with is just plain un-Equestrian. It'd be like if I liked blueberry pie, but Applejack liked apple pie, and I told everyone she was a bad pony because of it! Who am I to stand between Applejack and her delicious, beloved apples, am I right? Let me tell you - it would take a far braver bear than me to do anything like that. That mare can really kick.

So from now on...

[He pulls a board out from somewhere, tiny in his massive claws. It reads:

ON NOTICE:
Racism
The thing where people act like they're the bosses of other people's dating

]

...that kind of behavior is officially on notice.