Kickoff [Video/Massive Audio later]

[like_a_dragon]

[A green pony with a matted down brown mop-top appears on the scroll. From the furrowed brows, flared nostrils and fierce grimace, she does not appear... pleased.]

WHAT THE TARTARUS IS GOING ON HERE!?

[Taking a step away from the scroll would probably be a good idea...]

I can't even begin to count all the things that is wrong here! I mean, at first I thought this was a dream but then when somepony actually pinched me -- WITH THEIR MOUTH NO LESS -- I knew that this was actually real. Talking ponies? And the ones with wings? EVEN ONES WITH MAGIC HORNS?? I even saw one that brought in a raincloud! IT WAS RIGHT ON TOP OF ME!!

[She takes a moment and her hoof comes up to scrub off her hair and her face.]

Alright... you know what... considering everything else I have seen before a world of talking ponies is actually not that out there. And, hey, at least my fur color is one that I'd like. Just, in this case, I hope my friends aren't here to have this happen to them.

Also, I have to ask just one question...

Why couldn't I have been one of those cool ones with the wings?

EDIT:

[A little bit later there is a shout. A glorious shout. A mighty shout. It rings to the heavens and may even be heard as far as way as The Crystal Kingdom.]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN PONIES DON'T EAT MEAT?!!!!

[Thanks, Teddie.]

EDIT: x2

[And a little bit after that there is another shout, though not quite as powerful, whatever is doing it definitely has a healthy set of lungs.]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO TV?!!

[Thanks, Rise.]

Comments

[kingofthetvworld]

...What if I did and didn't even know it?!

[The plot twist of the century.]

I apologize in advance if that turns out to be the case.

[like_a_dragon]

I think that's giving you too much credit.

We thought you set up the Arena too, and it was nothing you could do even if you wanted.

[And that was a comfort.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[Well, here it comes, the first clue that something might not be right here. Well, besides the whole pony thing.]

...The what now?

[like_a_dragon]

You remember, right? The tournament? General Teddie? The Shadow Operatives?

[Especially since he was all but kidnapped. I mean how do you forget THAT part?]

[kingofthetvworld]

[Why was he a general? General of what? ...Scoring? He hopes it's scoring.]

N-Noooooooooo? Did I win this so called tournament?

[like_a_dragon]

...you seriously don't remember?

[THERE IS SOMEPONY SHE KNOWS THAT WOULD BE VERY SAD ABOUT THIS.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[HE'D BE SO SORRY IF ONLY HE KNEW]

Nope, nadda. I'd definitely remember being in a tournament. ...Unless the heavyweight champion knocked me out in the final round...

[Because he'd totally get that far. And be a heavyweight.]

Maybe I'm still knocked out and this is just one big Teddie dream! Chie-chan, quick! Make me pinch myself!

[like_a_dragon]

[Yeeeeah, no.]

Uh... okay?

Teddie, I want you to pinch yourself.

[Dramatic finger point? Ugh, she's so bad at giving orders.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[And of course he pinches himself, and of course it hurts.]

This is one realistic dream!

[like_a_dragon]

THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT A DREAM, NUMBSKULL!!

[kingofthetvworld]

I see someone's jealous I made it to the final round!

[Teddie why?]

[like_a_dragon]

...oh, do you want to give me a go? I have no problem with a friendly duel.

[To the death]

[kingofthetvworld]

As second place winner of the tournament, I accept. It's only sporting of me, of course.

[That and this is clearly Dream Chie. She can't hurt him in his own dreams!

...RIGHT?]

[like_a_dragon]

Alright! Once I get to the Crystal Kingdom we're going to have a spar and may the best furry thing win!

[This is probably going to hurt... Teddie.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[In a way, he probably knows it will, but something about pretending everything is a dream just makes everything more fun.]

It's on, sister! You best prebear yourself for a world of hurt!

...N-Not that I could actually hurt you. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

[like_a_dragon]

...yeah I'm probably going to have to hold back or else I'd start to feel bad.

But still, a challenge is a challenge! I'm not backing down!

[kingofthetvworld]

Grr, me neither! Even if we don't wanna hurt each other, we can still...glare each other into submission!

[like_a_dragon]

...how big are you? From where I'm standing you look like you could be pinned by a single hoof.

[kingofthetvworld]

[UH. UHHHHH.]

It's an illusion! OooooOOOooooOOoo~ I'm really six feet tall~

[like_a_dragon]

[SHE REALLY DOUBTS THAT.]

Good. That'll make it at least half-way fair.

[Bluff called.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[Why would anyone want to wrestle a bear...

Well so much for that. When in doubt, cry. Teddie doesn't find any of this fun anymore, he just got caught up in the moment!]

Okay okay, I made it all up! I don't really wanna fight you, Chie-chaaaaaan! I just wanted the dream ponies to think I was cool...

[like_a_dragon]

[His sensei wrestled at least one. It was training.]

...You're the one that started it. So now that we have the time and place set it would be disrespectful not to fight it out properly.

[NOW she's stringing him along.]

[kingofthetvworld]

[Evil. Absolutely evil.]

I-I am a-okay with being disrespectful, really! Just ask Yosuke!

[like_a_dragon]

[You luv me]

Well, he would know.

[But more then that, she really didn't want to bully Teddie that badly. She knows all about his tendency to speak the thoughts that he should keep inside his head.]

But I think maybe we should have a talk so you don't learn his bad habits.

[kingofthetvworld]

[Oh fantastic, another talk. Just what he always wanted.]

Okay fiiine, but only if it's nothing like Sensei's talk. I'm not sure I could bear another round of that.

[But he'll take talks over fighting, no arguments there.]