⚜01 [Video]

[downstairslife]

Er...

[There's a bit of fussing with the scrolls before it actually goes to show who's actually using it...and when it does, what everyone sees is a sleek emerald dragon in a thick wool cloak and tricorn hat.

A very nice tricorn hat.]

I ah, think I've got it. There's no shortage of questions that I have concerning where I am and why I'm suddenly a mount worthy of Her Majesty's Thirteenth, but honestly? I'm sure any answer I get will only raise further questions.

[There's a very pained, puzzled sigh from her before she tips her hat to a presumed audience, in some flustered, vague attempt at courtesy.]

I only want to know whether anyone has seen any walkers about--or Risen, whatever you want to call them. The laws of my world have...likely been abandoned, for now, but I need to be sure.

And gods, if they are here, don't come close to one if you see it! [There's a hint of panic in her voice now, but she's still fairly controlled.] Use guns, or pitchforks, or fire if you must, but know that their embrace means death if you're daft enough to let one touch you.

[Okay, okay. Calm down, Kaj...]

I'll be looking for a place a twenty-foot wyvern could possibly stay in this village, if any of you happen to be about. I should like to find one by the morrow, but this is far from the worst that's happened to me.

Comments

[ensembledarkhorse]

[Walkers. Risen. Jiangshi. Those are all terms she hasn't heard since... well, since Kon Ran.]

...There are none here... none that seek the souls of the living, at the least. The undead that have plagued this land crave nothing more than yogurt. I do believe they are a protected species currently, given their lack of hunger for the taste of mortality. Please avoid causing them undue harm.

Welcome to Equestria.

[downstairslife]

[Okay, of all the possible answers she was expecting concerning zombies and their presence here, that's not really the one she was expecting.]

You have my word, madam. Inconveniencing the local dairy-maids aside, I'm not sure such creatures warrant much of anything.

[ensembledarkhorse]

Regarding your current physical status and place of residence: Being a dragon, your options are... rather limited, alas. Simply a size issue, you understand. I do know that this region has a fair share of caves that could be repurposed into dwellings, but I do not know of any particular abodes that would accommodate your new size. I trust you have seen the more common residents of this land?

[downstairslife]

The...ponies? Horses?

I've never known much about either, I'm afraid.

[ensembledarkhorse]

They are what are equivalent, assumedly, to whatever species you were before you arrived here. Human, most likely. The influx of fully-grown adult dragons who do more than sleep within their caves eleven months out of the year is a bit of a... recent development, so lodging is a bit hard to come by.

[downstairslife]

...I'm still disappointed in this universe's tired humor, but it's great to know that I'm an outlier.

[That elicits a bit of a chuckle.]

Although I still fancy myself better off as a pony.

[Video]

[surpriserainbows]

There's the yogurt zombies, but they're just jerks. And snooty.

I mean, come on! Like, if you had been dead for hundreds of years and the first food you got was pudding, would you complain that much?

[downstairslife]

[That gets a faint chuckle from this girl.]

A hundred years underground, I'd think it a miracle I could still eat at all.

1/2

[surpriserainbows]

Yeah! Yeah, man, exactly! I mean there's all kinds of ponies in the world who can't afford to eat. I mean when I was just a little kid I remember there was this old pony on the streets who'd have to dance for enough money each day to buy a loaf of bread and some beans! Do you know how hard it is to dance on clouds, even when you can just stand on them?

What I'm saying is that food is food and if you're starving you should be grateful for it and that they're massive jerks for being rude about it and it'd be right for someone to set them on fire so that they die! .....Again!

2/2

[surpriserainbows]

[Wow. Okay wow that came off a little too strong. She...she should probably tone it down a little bit.]

Is...something...I could say! If I was, you know, unbalanced and unfairly biased against the undead! I mean violently so but hey who could get angry at a bunch of corpses who just eat yogurt! That's just crazy! I mean talk about being small minded, even if the zombies are even worse!

[downstairslife]

If they don't feast on the living--and the walkers from my own world did--they're of no concern to me either way.

[She really doesn't care who is and isn't a zombie racist here.]

[surpriserainbows]

Uh, they don't seem to? I mean I've never seen them eat a pony.

There are other monsters who probably would though. You should probably stay away from most of the things that don't look like ponies. I mean...you know...no offense to you! I'm sure you're pretty nice! I mean I know a giant squid guy going around who's pretty nice, so I mean not like I can judge much.

[downstairslife]

[She'll let others be the judge of whatever virtues she might happen to have, tyvm]

I won't forget.

[visual]

[weekwizard]

There is no creature by that name in this world. The closest thing would be the undead that desire yogurt rather than traditional flesh. Annoying at times, but not a threat.

[downstairslife]

So I've been told.

If that's the case, then it seems the worst of my worries were for nothing.

[weekwizard]

You will find there are plenty of other things to worry about here, if not physical threats then emotional and mental ones.

[downstairslife]

So all in all, not much has changed.

Wonderful.

I'm not even sure why whatever powers that be chose to make me a...well, I suppose wyverns don't have arms, but it's a cruel trick if there ever was one.

[Sorry, Patchy, but her world doesn't have straight up dragons. Wyverns, yes, sea serpents, yes, cute little fire-breathing mini-lizards, yes, but no dragons.]

[weekwizard]

The proper term is "dragon". Four legs instead of the two wyverns possess.

Regardless, you got off rather easy. Most of us that get taken here are turned into ponies, instead.

[downstairslife]

I don't think I would've minded that much.

[She has complicated feelings about draconic things, okay.]

[weekwizard]

Hm. Not a fan of dragons, I take it? I would have welcomed being one.

[downstairslife]

My father's mount was ever the ornery old brim, though he loved her like a daughter. Had I any power to trade you I could wear the mane and saddle, and you the scales.

Although I would like to keep this hat.

[It is a freakin' sweet tricorn hat.]

[weekwizard]

Fair enough. That sort of hat is not my usual preference, but I can appreciate the style.

[After all, headgear in Gensokyo is kind of a big thing.]

[visual]

[polyturtle]

There are caves, or the commune, if they're amenable to it.

Also, yeah, the only zombies here crave yogurt. You're better off armed with some of that than any weapons against them, they'll generally leave everypony alone otherwise.

[downstairslife]

...I'll take your word for it.

[If she even had eyebrows in this form, there would certainly have been one raised in Don's general direction.]

Looks like I'll have to find another use for the pistols, then.

[polyturtle]

Yeah, conserve your ammunition. There are ponies who can make you what you need, but...that will take some time.

[In other words, bullets are a sparse commodity.]

[downstairslife]

Do you think I'd ever have any use for them?

I remember but a little of my world's magic. And even if I recalled more, I've hardly the skill to wield it.

[polyturtle]

Hopefully not. But as they say, semper paratus.

[visual]

[discorderly]

Oh, you're talking about JOURNALISTS~!

[downstairslife]

...




No.

[discorderly]

Oh, but I'm afraid SO~

[He holds up the most recent issue of Hoovesweek. The yogurt one.]

[downstairslife]

[...good lord.]

I stand corrected.

Not as if there were ever any standards for the bilge they sell on newsstands, anyway.

[discorderly]

Oh, quite. Some of them have called me mad!

[Discord cackles madly.]

Can you imagine?

[downstairslife]

It's far easier than it looks.

[discorderly]

Oh, you must be a great talent!