mylittlejamjar | APPLE FACTS 12: YOU BETTER BELIEVE THEM IS FIGHTING WORDS [Visual]

Well I sure as shit RSVPed. I mean hell if they're going to be so nice that they're gonna put me in their magazine a second time I'd be pretty damn rude of me not to. They're working their asses off to make me a star so I might as well grace them with my presence since they seem to want it so damn bad.

But hey, before we start deciding how we're going to burn their shit down - and I know this is going to sound hypocritical as hell of me - maybe we should try and play nice?

Look. These clowns want to see what we're like, right? So let's show them. Hell, even show them your rougher spots, you wanna. But don't show them the absolute worst you've got that isn't really part of you that they're trying to make in you. We've got an opportunity to prove who we are by going to this thing. So hell.

They wanna show us some movies? Let's go and watch their movies. We'll show them something else in return.

Seriously. Even if you aren't thinking of going right now? Consider it. It's gonna be a waste if you don't.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anything not bolted to the ground is floorbound, baby!

Gonna leave ruining this bitch to you, but hey. Save a little for me space man. I might need to break some shit but good depending on how the night goes.

Oh, I'm gonna ruin her, alright. She's gonna wish she never pissed me off somehow, mark my words.

[It's very possible Dandy might not be talking about the same thing anymore.]

By the way, I'm gonna need a date for this thing, and I guess you count as a chick enough. You in or are you too busy "playing nice" to be seen with me?

[Japple isn't actually sure she knows what the hell Dandy is talking about with that first part, and isn't sure she really wants to know or hey. Even cares.]

Damn, dude. You know what being seen with your ass at some ritzy crap like this would do to my reputation?

But hell, too late for me to find a better dude anyway. Guess we're both kinda stuck so hey. I guess a slab of old bread is better than nothing when you're starving.

A damn comedian like always, just keep it up. Seriously, don't read too much into it, baby, I'm really lowering my standards here. I mean, it was either you or my ninja replacement chick, and I'm pretty sure she's spoken for or something.

I'll pick you up whenever, I don't think they were assed to put an actual time on the invite.

Cool with me. Just try to look like you're going to an actual event someone gives a shit about, instead of looking like you broke out of some space disco jail.