1st Salute - Accidental Visual

[her_saga]

[A blonde pony with a white cape over her back is pacing up and down along the grassy path just near the Everfree Forest. A green gem radiating with power floats above her, following her. Not that she seems to mind. She's muttering stuff to herself, but in a little bit, her voice becomes audible. It doesn't seem like she really knows what the scroll's for either as judging from the perspective where she's towering over the view, it's just lying there on the ground.]

… So's now I'm a horse. Okay, that's a step down from robot, but I can make this work. Let's weigh the pros and cons. Pro: now I can serve Lord Il Palazzzo with the strength of one extra horsepower instead of none. Con: it'll be awfully awkward for him to try to lift me up in his arms. … and I'm going to miss fingers something fierce, I just know it.

[She looks up at her hooves disdainfully and starts tapping at the grass.]

Yeah, I wouldn't trade away the oft unappreciated, yet superior ability of humans to “grab stuff” even for a lucrative career in tap.

[The blonde pony pauses for a little while and stares intently at her hooves. She drops down on her hocks and shouts into the air with raised arms.]

OKAY BUT WHY AM I A HOOOOOOOORSE!!!!????

Comments

[Visual]

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Many outsiders hath been thrust into the very same form of the pony 'Tis a fate bestowed upon them by The Pale Pony.

[Visual]

[her_saga]

A voice..! Is it an ambush!?

[Excel darts left and right, looking for wherever the voice might've come from, guarded as ever. Her gaze points over to the ground where the scroll is... and where Trixie is popping up visually.]

Oh, it's just the scrap of paper. [She taps at it with her hoof.]

A pretty high tech scrap of paper. Heh, and everyone thought the digital age was going to kill print. How do I turn off the archaic grammar function on this thing?

[Visual]

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

The Great and Powerful Trixie shall speak the way she wishes to. And this scroll is powered entirely by magic.

Trixie demands you to ask any and all question you have. But be aware that others should be able to answer the very questions you speak.

[Visual]

[her_saga]

...... Huh, so it's a two-way communicator, not some kinda paper navi deal.

[Okay. At least she got that out of the way. But yeah, this pony looks pretty darn magical, can't deny that.]

... Okay, nobody needs a name that long, so I'll be abbreviating it to GaPT. And secondly... [Well, gosh, she doesn't even have that many questions, so she thinks on it.] Am in Ponytown or something?

[Visual]

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Close. Many outsiders first arrive in Ponyville. Trixie shall remain here for but a few more days before heading to Canterlot. You should be able to be graced with the awe-inspiring performances she puts on for her adoring and abundant audience!

[Visual]

[her_saga]

Okay, thirdly: why all the third-person narration? That's already starting to bug me out. Are ya too good for first person?

[Visual]

[surpriserainbows]

Well...

Have you really considered just how good a career decision going into tap could be, man? I mean not just every pony could do it.

[Visual]

[her_saga]

[Okay, she has a better handle on this communicator scroll now, so she just leans over it.]

Dancing and prancing just aren't how I want to earn my bread and butter. Sure tap gets you just as sweaty as manual labor does, but with labor, you've earned the right to waste precious bodily fluids.

[Visual]

[surpriserainbows]

Well the bodily fluids thing isn't really part of it. I mean, I guess it could be for some, which is weird - I mean, I'm not saying you're weird, just that it's kind of weird to go there - it's more about passion! Which...I guess if you don't have it it's not for you.

But maybe you need to expand into something, anyway. I mean what did you previously do? Like, dock work, or work retail, or something like that?

[Because that's what Surprise thinks of when she thinks of hard manual labor.]

[Visual]

[her_saga]

Dock work, ship work, construction work, hotel work, restaurant work, convenience store hand, nursing... soliciting, telemarketing, toilet scrubbing, campaigning though you'll never catch me voting for any of those mustachioed hosers...

[She thinks a little more into the jobs she's had because she goes through them almost every week.]

There were those times I worked at a shrine too... Sold noodles at a festival. Yeah, I guess you'd have an easier time asking me what I haven't done. Tap, c'ointly.

[Visual]

[surpriserainbows]

That is...that is some resume, man.

[Especially to a race were changing professions was often unheard of, or at least incredibly rare.]

I mean I wouldn't think you'd have much trouble getting work like that here. Might need to get used to the hooves, though and, uh...put away the floating crystal. You don't usually see that following an earth pony around.

[Visual]

[her_saga]

Yeah, well, you gotta make a living somehow.

[And that involves finding any and every job that doesn't ask too many questions. She also has a talent for falsifying resumes and ID's]

Wha? Oh, you mean-

[At Excel's command, the Core disappears.]

Yeah, I was playing around with it before I got here. [Whatever 'it' is.] So what're you supposed to be? A showpony?

[weaponizedgems]

We're ponies, not horses per se. And hooves are not as useful as one may think.

[her_saga]

Damn straight they ain't. You think I want to be a tap dancer? I don't have time for that. I have better things to do.

[weaponizedgems]

Hm... perhaps not. I'd rather my magic over simply my hooves. But, they do have their uses to.

I've seen ponies buck apples right off of trees with ease for starters. And surprisingly I know one or two that can do quite intricate craft work without magic as well.

[her_saga]

... "Magic", you say.

[She's skeptical of the word.]

Okay, I'll bite. So all of you believe in... magic, right? Fairy dust, pixie spells, gnome wax, the works? What about, you know. Science. How's that working out for you?

[weaponizedgems]

....None of those exist, but yes. We believe in magic because as a unicorn, it is what I use to manipulate the objects around me.

[To use as an example, Rarity calls her Diamond sword to her, lets it hover beside her and then lets it shatter into 14 individual Gems.]

Like that. If you wish to know about scientific endeavors, that is something you take up with a pony that has a talent in that area.

[rollsoffthetongue]

[Hi, have +1 blue and blond pony.]

Hooves aren't... so bad, once you get used to them. I mean yeahh sure, fingers are great. I miss fingers as much as the next guy.

But you get a hold of hooves and making do pretty quickly, believe me.

[her_saga]

They're so stubby.

[Excel holds a hoof up and squeezes the air with it.]

I'm definitely feeling what they call "phantom appendage" here. How do you live like this, when you have to pick everything up in your mouth?

[rollsoffthetongue]

Y'learn to make do, really. Like, when I had a campsite out in the woods- [Before it got too cold, anyway] -I learned how to use my legs and the rest of my body to move stuff around, rebuild parts of the camp, things like that.

And as it turns out, magic ponies have a bigger range of movement than you might think. [Go figure.]

[her_saga]

... [Excel is... mulling over that. The gears in her head are turning and turning before soon enough, they snap.] Sh-shock!

Th-that's right. Housing. If I'm going to have to stay here for the long haul, I'll need a place to stay. Not that I'd have any oats and hay to pay off the horsey landlords here, I can make due with... with.

Okay, so camping. You've got 2x4's here, right? Cardboard? I know you won't have glue, but there has to be some equine-friendly material to splice everything together.

[rollsoffthetongue]

[Good job, Jaune.]

Wh-whoa whoa, hold on a second! There's housing available for off-worlders, you shouldn't have to worry about that. It's the communes, totally free so long as you're not afraid to help out around the place.

'Course there's always rentable places, or finding a friend and staying with them.

[visual]

[ultra_vi]

Yeah...magic's neat and all, but I kind of miss fingers.

[visual]

[her_saga]

While I'm not entirely against picking up slimy, muddy junk if I have to, it's another story if I have to pick it up with my mouth. I mean, if I have to, sure, but what's been the whole point of all these years evolving if we just end up losing our fingers?

[visual]

[ultra_vi]

Well, to be fair, I don't think "magically being removed from our worlds and taken to another inhabited by ponies" was ever something we needed to evolve for.

And actually, these hooves are a little more useful with holding things than you'd think would be possible without thumbs.

[She takes a moment to demonstrate by holding up a book, her two fore hooves wrapped around the book like fingers would be.]

It takes some getting used to, and it's a little harder to hold some things than others. But it's pretty doable.