mylittlejamjar | Deal with the Devil. I mean Demon. [Visual, open]

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Deal with the Devil. I mean Demon. [Visual, open]

[Zetta seems completely unconcerned as he lounges in his throne, waving a hoof casually at the scroll.]

So somebody blabbed my plans already, but that minion-mimicking minx got the basics in one. You guys are losing power left and right, but I -- I, Zetta, the most badass freaking Overlord in the entire cosmos -- have it to spare!

So, how can you get a piece of my might? A slice of mana power all your own? [Zetta rubs his forehooves together in delight.] You join my team, of course. Become my loyal minion and I'll give you power. Add it to your own or replace what you lost, I don't care.

...Seriously, you guys haven't stopped this weirdo yet? You're slipping. Anyway, offer's good starting now!

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Please tell me I am not the only one who sees the incredibly flawed logic in this plan. Even a Vulcan can see this won't work!

So, Overlord? Like of a Netherworld, or you using the title for kicks and came up with it, or what?

Cause I've minioned for an Overlord before already, might as well make it two. Got a resume all lined up for it two if you want it.

[Those slings and arrows aren't going to bother this Overlord.]

And what's so flawed about the logic, hmm?

Of course of a Netherworld! That's the purpose of the title. Just because the body's equine, doesn't mean the spirit isn't still all-demon!

[Much as she hates to admit it, she's scared. And tempted...because if they fail, there's no rainbow to fall back on this time. But like heck is she swearing anything without a few questions.]

And what, exactly, would being your loyal minion involve?

You know, the usual. Doing my bidding, assisting my ultimate takeover of Equestria, light housework or gardening... occasional guard shifts for appearance's sake... Airship staffing as needed...

Hey it's not exactly like its the most original title in the world.

Anyway, I'm in. This place is boring enough to begin with at least something halfway cool is happening now.

It's the only title in existence that matters! Everything else is just so much window dressing on a salad!

Present yourself at my castle and I'll invest you or whatever. Hell if I know what the ceremony is supposed to be around here.

[It's hard to resist rolling her eyes, but she reminds herself that this is serious.]

I've got a farm to run if it survives this. Am I still gonna have time to do my job?

Hmm. [Zetta scratches his chin with a hoof.] I think we can be flexible. Plus my girlfriend will kill me if I mistreat you. So long as this doesn't become some crapass farming minigame!

Yeah yeah sure whatever. Give me like, thirty and I'll be there.

[For a boy who a few years ago had put so much interest in the accumulation of power, he seems rather uninterested in hearing it built on more. Maybe it's a genuine lessening concern with it as a whole. Or maybe he's just heard this speech too many times before.

Either way the little dragon will inevitably make his way to the Overlord's castle.]

Yeah I'm here for the...investing, or whatever. You actually have to have some big dumb show for it or can we just get to it.

That thing is absorbing everyone's magic left and right! If using their own might wasn't enough, how is using yours? What are the chances of him even taking that power, too?! All you end up with is an army of indebted ponies... And that's what you want, isn't it?

You're no "Freakin' Badass Overlord", you're an opportunistic little amoeba who wants to take advantage of frightened little ponies for your own gain.

All right.

[She heaves a sigh.]

Look, I'll be honest. That eclipse stunt really messed with my head for a while. But Twi and Rarity trust you. The princesses trust you. And if anypony other than them has magic powerful enough to match his...it's you, I'd guess.

[Zetta rolls his eyes, though that is not immediately obvious. No ocular structures, you know.]

Look, if the ponies don't beat him on their own, I'm going to have to do it anyway. In that case, it's my power getting used. Why is this different? Because I'm giving them a chance to keep fighting, and asking for something in return? That makes me an amoeba?

Should I just hand out ultimate power, no charge? Should I step in and smash every problem that shows up?

[There's a long, pregnant pause as Flare eyes the scroll. She's definitively drained by this point, but not enough so that she'd need some sort of energy handout.

But that... it... everything seemed too damn convenient.]

You did this, didn't you?

[Zetta holds up a hoof solemnly.]

I have absolutely no responsibility for what's-his-ass's arrival in Ponyville or his actions towards the Princesses or any of you guys.

You should know that power-draining isn't my style. I want the best Equestria has to offer as my nemeses, not sucked-dry husks that Sweetie Belle could beat!

[Zetta glances up from his throne, then snorts.]

Well, wouldn't be the first time I had a dragon as a minion. You're on the team -- oh, hold on.

[Zetta passes a paper to a very confused-looking unicorn. The unicorn looks at it, then shakes his head, at which point Zetta promptly leans over and slaps him upside the head.]

["Recruit Pokey" passed by force! Pokey joined the party!]

Please. He's a tiny pathetic little worm compared to me. [Zetta buffs his hoof on his fur, then looks over it at her.]

I wouldn't have done all that stuff if I hadn't figured out that whether I like it or not, we're all in this together.

Exactly. You give us your power to beat this guy, get us in a contract we can't back out of, and then he gets crushed beneath your might, leaving you as sole evil overlord, with every pony in Ponyville under your command.

It's too convenient, Zetta. Give me one reason he wouldn't've gone after you like a moth to the flame. You yourself said you've got a fraction of the power you do in your home world, so if he could stomp the princesses, steamrolling you would be a walk in the park... unless part of the negotiation to let him go is that you'd be left alone until the inevitable backstab. Buy you some time to backstab first.

And yeah, I know you pride yourself on bein' an honest evil overlord, but damn it all, you've already fooled us once. Give me a reason you wouldn't do this, preferably one that doesn't involve your pride.

Once again, you're underestimating me. He won't go for me until he thinks he can handle me with all his drained power. It's a total Dragon Ball Z thing.

[Zetta folds his forelegs and glares away, the inevitable expression of an Overlord who is about to say more than he really wants to.]

If you must know, I wouldn't agree to any damn plan that got the Princesses drained and sent down to Tartarus.

Fine. I'm not takin' you up on your offer, though. I've gone this far without any powers, and I can still fight like this, even if it's just to soak abuse that other ponies can't take.

[Why is that, anyway? She thought fighting was her cutie mark talent, and those are magic...]

Got one last question.

No one said you had to! I'm just putting it out there! Sheesh, what?

[You could at least pretend that admission wasn't convincing, Flare.]

Asking for something in return? You're asking them to be a slave! Even if I gave everyone here a bit of my power, I wouldn't go around asking for their souls in return! That's disgusting!

We'd just ask that they be part of the Q Continuum for all eternity. But, smarter men know better. I've seen them.

It's obvious now that there aren't any here.

Yeah, because it'll make a difference if we use our own power versus what power you give us when Tirek can suck up any kind of magic.

And in return, someone becomes your minion, with just as potentially unwinnable odds as they had before they agreed.

Edited 2015-03-31 19:32 (UTC)

[And the feed cuts to private.]

...Exact words, is it?

With the no responsibility and never agreeing to plans, and all.

[She still thinks you're the one that set him free, Zetta, even if you never agreed to the crap he's doing.]

That's not my question, though. My question is, if your marefriend gets herself hurt because you can't be arsed to help at the first sign of trouble and want to milk the opportunity?

You think that's gonna do good things for the relationship?

Edited 2015-03-31 19:34 (UTC)

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