Kanji Tatsumi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
topgun_textiles) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mylittlejamjar2015-05-28 02:38 pm
topgun_textiles) wrote in mylittlejamjar2015-05-28 02:38 pm
Stitch Nine - [Visual]
[Hey, it's this guy again. He'd traded an acoustic guitar for electric, and for a moment he's strumming a note or two to test the richness of the sound. It's just right. Well, he's clearly about to do a little ditty for everyone, but what on earth for? Was this another accident, an entry meant for someone? Don't want a song? You're welcome to close the scroll. He won't blame ya.]
[Still here? Cool. Thanks. But something's not right. Kanji does not look happy. And when he begins... he just sounds angry. Here goes.]
I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break, holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use
I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose
My head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
[A short break here. He's focused on the guitar, having practiced every day. But the strums are hard, the sound of someone trying their goddamned hardest not to quit in the middle. He'd come this far.]
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession, my friend... I'm no fool.
I'm getting tired of starting again, somewhere new.
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse.
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
[The song demands a wail and he gives one in spades, hammering out the final notes before he grit his teeth. If he keeps this up he might wreck the poor instrument...]
[Then, he stops. He looks away from the 'camera', took a breath, and sets the guitar down a little less than gently- the amp makes a brief and terrible sound from the impact vibrations over the strings, and Kanji simply walks out of the frame. The feed dies a moment later.]
[Still here? Cool. Thanks. But something's not right. Kanji does not look happy. And when he begins... he just sounds angry. Here goes.]
I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break, holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use
I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose
My head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
[A short break here. He's focused on the guitar, having practiced every day. But the strums are hard, the sound of someone trying their goddamned hardest not to quit in the middle. He'd come this far.]
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession, my friend... I'm no fool.
I'm getting tired of starting again, somewhere new.
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse.
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
[The song demands a wail and he gives one in spades, hammering out the final notes before he grit his teeth. If he keeps this up he might wreck the poor instrument...]
[Then, he stops. He looks away from the 'camera', took a breath, and sets the guitar down a little less than gently- the amp makes a brief and terrible sound from the impact vibrations over the strings, and Kanji simply walks out of the frame. The feed dies a moment later.]
[visual]
Th...Th-That depends...D-Do you...really think they could never be forgiven...?
[visual]
But this guy... he's different. He's been too different from the version of him from my timeline. He'd never do somethin' like this. He'd never ignore what he learned over the year he spent in Inaba, and he'd never attack us. Qualities like that are what had us call him leader. He was a guy to trust, to confide in, the best friend you could ever ask for. I trust the one I know from back home, back in my time. It's also why I trust the Seta Souji that came here recently.
...I offered my shoulder, hugged, and watched helplessly how much damage this Narukami bastard did to everyone. I watched them all cry and question themselves, Fluttershy. I watched them blame themselves, when they did nothin' wrong.
[His expression soured. He thought of them all again: Teddie, Chie, Yukiko... even Naoto...]
A friend doesn't hurt the ones they care about. A friend doesn't attack them when they're caught doing somethin' that's harmed countless people.
The best friend I had from home ain't this guy. I don't even know who or what he is now, but he's not that guy.
[visual]
...Y-You know, back home...in the Equestria I'm from...I had something happen like that too...A friend of mine, someone I trusted completely...ended up betraying me and my other friends...
It...I-It wasn't exactly the same as...what it sounds like with your friend...Mine hadn't always exactly been the nicest person...and the others always kind of expected him to turn on us...B-But I never did...after he changed, I...I-I never thought he'd hurt me again...
[visual]
...So what'd you end up doin', Fluttershy?
[visual]
And...I'm not saying you have to forgive your... leader. But...if there's a chance for forgiveness, then it should be taken...at least by someone, even is it's not you...
[visual]
[He sighed, and shook his head. Felt awfully close to those times he had people gang up on him at school, all by telling a lie about him. That sick feeling came back.]
...But I do appreciate it, Fluttershy. I just... I just don't see it workin' out. Not like this.
[visual]
Mm...I-I know it's hard...a-and if you can't, then you can't...U-Unfortunately, places like these can...can really change people...a-and not for the better...
B-But...i-it's because of that...that I think it's important not to turn our backs on others...e-even if they do hurt us...Th-Things are so different here...a-and a lot of things they do or have done...th-they might not have, if not for this place...E-Even if they make such terrible mistakes...i-if they try to make up for their mistakes...th-then we should try to give them a chance...
B-Because i-if we don't...then we might really lose them...
...You don't have to forgive him. B-But even if you don't...I do hope that...someday...you two can work find a way to work past this...You deserve that much, at least...
[visual]
That's why I made my choice, Fluttershy. I don't forgive him. And I never will.
But instead of knocking his damned teeth out, I'm gonna take the high route. He disappointed me, and I'm not gonna let him disappoint me again. So I will tolerate him. He can do what he likes.
But Narukami and I ain't friends any more. Simple as that. I mean, it ain't like the guy ever so much as looked at me or talked to me since I first got here anyway. So nothin' will really change, for him or for me.
[He shrugged, and picked up the guitar again, quietly tuning it.]
I've got my memories of my best friend. Those are important to me. If this guy wants to walk down the wrong path and make stupid choices, that's on him. But he can't call on me to bail him out when he screws up.
Part of learning about friendship is knowing that nobody stays friends forever sometimes. Sometimes friendships end, and both sides move on to make new friends and are better for it. I feel like that's something this place needs to learn, too.
[visual]
B-But you're right...People change...and things happen...a-and sometimes it's good to know when to just...end things...
C...C-Can I ask you something, though...? I-If he...reached out to you...if he apologized and really tried to...make up for what he did...what would you do...?
[visual]
[Still strumming the guitar, entering a ballad, tongue sticking out in focus. It's been a long four months waiting, picking up the pieces of his friends and comforting them the best that he could. He's done waiting, and he's done picking up after that guy's messes, and every time they just got bigger and more difficult.]
[visual]
...I'm sorry I couldn't be much help...
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I-If...there's anything else I can do...just let me know...
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[The idea's been kicking in his head, and he really wants to stop talking about the other bit. He needed to ponder a few things.]
How's your cooking skill?
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Its pretty obvious who this is about, as she listens, but listening to him speaking about what a great person his leader had been, something in her chest suddenly heats up.
She decides its worth a shot to say something. She waits until Fluttershy and he have finished their conversation before speaking up.]
Hey. Hope I'm not intruding, and my forte isn't exactly friendship advice...but maybe I can help?
[visual][private]
Oh. Uhh... help with what?
[visual][private]
[She rubs her paws together, looking down.]
You said he was your leader, right? That he was someone you looked up to, and you leaned on him and...then what happened happened...I'm not going to tell you that you have to forgive him for what he did. What he did was wrong and you have every right to be mad at him.
But I do want to ask you something. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.
How did you meet him back home?
[visual][private]
He said I ain't alone, and that what I liked to do was okay. I could be who I wanted to be, and not be scared to do it anymore. I swore I'd be myself no matter what, then, follow what I feel is right.
So by joining the group, I helped save the town with everyone... hell, the world. It was what I always wanted, and I felt like I mattered. I felt like I could make a positive change.
[visual][private]
So it was that kind of deal, huh.
[Things are starting to fall into place, a little bit. She's no Usagi and she never will be. But she does know what she is.
She brings her hooves behind her head.]
Y'know, that kind of story, it reminds me of somepony I knew back home. A group of someponies. A bunch of teenagers who found they had the power to save the world and protect someone very important to them. And leading them was someone that went by the name 'Sailor V'. She was amazing. She was experienced and talented, and seemed to know just what to do when battle came. They would've died alongside her to do what was necessary. Even before they met her, several of them wished they were her.
[She closed her eyes at this.]
Heh...well, then they met her outside of battle. You know, under pretty much normal circumstances as a civilian. She was nothing like that fearless and brave soldier. She as clumsy and not too smart. She was too loud and too reckless and got jealous easy, nearly wrecked her friend's life on one occasion. Totally boy crazy, too. I can only imagine the looks on their faces when they first met her like that.
[Actually, she can, because she remembers them comparing her to Usagi when they first met as civilians.]
She didn't come from the best family, either. She barely got into high school later on. Compared to everyone else on the team, outside of battle, she didn't have much going for her. If there wasn't a battle looming, or anything which needed everypony to be at their best, there was normal things, and she knew she wasn't good at most normal things.
There were a few times she couldn't understand why they bothered staying with her. Even on the battlefield, sometimes, she knew that some of the soldiers she led were more powerful and efficient than she was. And with the princess the one who could inspire them, she sometimes wondered if a leader like her was really necessary.
[Opening her eyes again.]
...Hey. Out of curiosity, what do you know about that guy outside of your battles?
[visual][private]
Outside of battle, he was... kind. He fed the stray cats, helped the fox mama and her babies that lived next to my place. It got bad some days with all the stray cats following him or hangin' out on his uncle's house, but he didn't care. He loves cats. He was so kind to Nanako-chan, his cousin, and did everything he could for her like they were brother n' sister. He was a huge dork, but... but I mean that in a good way.
[He laughed.]
I taught him how to make oven mitt hand puppets, and a bit of a line stitch. His work was messy, but he was learning real fast. But then, he was crafty too: He liked origami, folding cranes, and I think at one point put together a couple of model robots.
He was so... mature, and free on days off. I wanted to be like him... maybe mature a little more myself.
[The breath was shaky. Were his eyes a bit shiny? They were a little glassier than usual.]
If something was bothering him, he'd tell us, and we'd follow suit, yeah? 'Cause that's what friends do. He wasn't just our leader that we leaned on, we were all a team that worked together, and if we had problems we'd work it out. Otherwise we never would've won, we never would've saved anyone.
[But his teeth grit. He looked angry again, but he was teary-eyed. The 'guy who seemed to recover the most from all of this' was simply bottling the whole time. Sorry, Minato.]
That's the fuckin' memory I have of him. That is how he is.
That is why I'm so goddamned pissed that I'm told I should just 'get over it' and forgive this piece of shit that's hardly the guy I met at all! What the hell do they know?!
[visual][private]
She just nods. Go ahead, let it all out.]
[visual][private]
I notice as everybody's face darkens with the mere mention of him. I've seen every one of them cry. They all cried, blamed themselves when he's the one who screwed up and treated us all like crap. Like we don't matter.
Then at the Gala... N-naoto... she told me what I'd heard from everybody else. She fought so hard to keep a stiff upper lip, but she was... she was hurting too.
[He tried, too. But now, after slamming a hoof down on the table, he couldn't stop. Again and again, he brought it down on the table, some of the impacts joined by golden sparks. All of his frustrations, months of wondering why any of this had to happen was voiced in one long, low snarl and a few tears making a slow and steady mess of his face. His hooves lifted to what first appeared to cover his face, but no, he was fighting to wipe off his face, but he was too far gone to stop them now.]
I love my friends too damn much to let them be hurt by shit like this any more!
I love Chie-senpai! I love Yukiko-senpai! I love Teddie! I love Rise! I fuckin' love Naoto!
I love the hell out of 'em, damn it!!
Re: [visual][private]
Keep going, Kanji. Like nopony's watching.]
[visual][private]
[He didn't seem to have much else to say, too busy trying to pipe down on this mess of whatever the hell he was feeling right now. Frustration? Hurt? Embarrassment? He wasn't sure. Now he covered his face and tried to calm down.]
I'm s'posed to tough this shit out...!
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[At this, Minako finally speaks up.]
There's nothing wrong with being honest with your emotions and thoughts. Bottling them or pretending they don't exist will only make things worse. You need to cope with this. Don't tough it out.
[She crosses her hooves together. None of this 'I'm a tough guy who can totally handle this' bull because clearly this guy is not very well at all right now.]
Let it out and face what you're feeling!
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