We Can Work It Out [audio]

[thedoctorsmate]

[All right, this has gone long enough. Hiding in her little cottage is really not working. In spite of being embarrassed about the mossy mess that her mane as become, Donna takes to the scrolls.]

Okay. Scientists. I know there are, like, 20 of you out there. What's actually being done about this Poison Joke thing and how can we help? Because I'm about sick of having my hair constantly damp and slightly slimy. It's a mess on my pillow in the morning, and I'd really rather not live life on plastic sheets, thanks.

I know the regular cures for the Joke aren't working. What's next?

Comments

[text]

[etranger]

There are a few kinds of insects that eat Poison Joke with no ill effects; I've been studying them to see if it can be replicated. No luck so far.

[perma audio]

[thedoctorsmate]

Don't suppose you've tried just... eating the insects? [It would be gross, but needs must. And Donna has a powerful need to end this horrendous hair week.

[permatext]

[etranger]

Tasted horrible and they didn't help, either.

[thedoctorsmate]

[She wrinkles her nose. You truly are a trooper, Mako.]

And grinding into paste or bottling it didn't work, either, I take it?

[etranger]

No. Right now I'm trying to see if there's a second plant they eat that neutralizes the effect.

aufio

[4thdimensional]

I'm no botanist, and I haven't practiced chemistry in years, but if I could break down the components of the poison...we'd then be able to counter it. It's a matter of safely obtaining samples and testing them.

perma audio

[thedoctorsmate]

[Running off to fetch things? Well, she's already infected. How much worse could it get?]

How much of the Poison Joke d'you think you'd need to experiment with?

perma audio

[4thdimensional]

Five flowers, to be on the safe side.

[thedoctorsmate]

All right. [Time to put on your game face, Donna, and soldier out.] Where should I come once I've got it? I can do this! [Even if it's alone.]

[4thdimensional]

I'll return to my shop in the town square. It's shuttered for the next few days, luckily, so I'll have the time to work this out.

[audio]

[ex_daio198]

[So that's what been happening in Ponyville. He had thought that Tails' color changing has something to do with his weird experiments, but didn't think it's happening to others as well. Shame that its latest victim has to deal with slimy hair.

But what can Dedede do about it? Nothing... except to make fun of her]

Why get rid of the slime? I bet it looks good on you! Hh ha!

[audio]

[thedoctorsmate]

[Donna can't see whomever it is on the other end of the scroll, but she glares balefully at them.]

Yeah, okay, mister. Laugh it up! Just wait until your mane turns into Swamp Thing's worst hair day ever and see how you like it. You want to come by and mop up my floor? Wash my sheets?

[You have called down the fury of the Noble, Dedede. Vengeance will be had at some point!]

[audio]

[ex_daio198]

[Dedede pays her no mind. If they were seen face to face, he would wave his hoof dismissively at her]

A King doesn't clean up after other ponies messes. You either suck it up and do it yourself or find someone else gullible enough to do it for you.

[Bring in the fury of the Noble, Donna. Dedede will clobber it into submission]

[audio]

[thedoctorsmate]

King, are you? Y'know this place is run by princesses, right? Only king they've got is a villain from history. Reckon that might be your cue to take to drop the entitlement, kingy.

Let's have it, then. Where are you? You like slime so much? Happy to share.

[audio]

[ex_daio198]

[Dedede had to laugh at that response.]

This place must be in a terrible state to be run by more than one ruler. What a joke!

[Not to mention, according to him, Kings are above Princesses, so he's the highest in terms of hierarchy, even though he doesn't rule anything in Equestria.]

And the name's Dedede. KING Dedede to you. [He didn't really care if others call him by name and not by title, not too much. But in this case, it's preferred for obvious reasons]

If it's a fight you want, then a fight you'll get. Meet me at Sugarcube Coner. Just know that you are going to lose!

[audio]

[polyturtle]

Sorry, Donna. I'd be on this if I wasn't in this Pokeball.

[audio]

[thedoctorsmate]

If you weren't... what?

[Donna stares at her scroll.]

Don, why are you in a Pokeball?

[audio]

[polyturtle]

Discord.

[Really, does he need to say anymore?]

[audio]

[thedoctorsmate]

[She clops a hoof to her face that he can't see.]

How does that even...? Are you just shrunk down, or something, inside of there?

[audio]

[polyturtle]

I....don't know!

I mean, I'd have to be, but I don't feel like it, and somehow the physics of this thing are...not...there is no physics in this place! I have no clue how that even works!

[audio]

[bluesuit_hoofy]

[Was that Donna? She sounds like a chipmunk! This is the first Andrew's heard about a poison joke infestation, but then, this'll be the first he's heard that he's been gone.

Cue laughter. Cue very, very slow laughter, followed by a voice that sounds like a recording played at half speed.] Miiight want to check your settings, earth girl.

[audio]

[thedoctorsmate]

[Conversely, Donna has trouble recognizing who it is speaking when the voice is so deep and slow. There's only one person who calls her 'earth girl,' though.]

Andrew? Andrew, is that you!? Where are you? Tell me right now, space man!

[audio]

[bluesuit_hoofy]

[That's an awfully urgent squirrel-voice she's got. He hesitates much longer than he thinks he does before answering.] In the shed, where else? What is it, what's wrong?

[audio]>[action]

[thedoctorsmate]

Stay right there!

[Actions speak louder than words here, and in this case, Donna's not going to waste time talking. The mare doesn't even bother to roll up her scroll, she just drops it and goes galloping off toward Andrew's shed.

Hope Andrew doesn't mind slimy hugs and moss hair smacking the side of his head.]

You're back! Don't you ever do that to me again if you're just going to pop up a few weeks later, dumbo!

[action]

[bluesuit_hoofy]

[He doesn't listen or obey, of course, but that means he's only just getting to the door when she comes rushing in and clobbers him -- no, tackles him -- he startles back but it's like she's turned into some kind of cheetah-pony. Some kind of wet and smelly cheetah-pony.]

What?

[And again for good measure, because it's all he seems likely to get in:] What??