1st Revenge [Visual]

[angry_jerk]

[Today on the scroll network, the pony community may get the distinct honor of meeting this lovely batpony. The one glaring at the feed.]

Alright, here's how this is gonna work. Whoever is in charge of this vacuous collection of depravity, send me home immediately. Even if you do not, I will be merciful and choose to simply OBLITERATE this asinine carouse of deceit!

If you heed my words and don't try to bilk me of my safe return, I will try and forget that I have been kidnapped against my will, transformed into this abomination, dropped off in some candy coated sinkhole, with-

[He pauses mid-rant.]

On second thought, SCREW THE DEAL! I'LL ERADICATE WHATEVER MALEVOLENT JERKWAD THAT THINKS IT CAN STULIFY ME BY TURNING ME INTO A HORSE! I'll PURVERIZE YOU! I’LL EVISCERATE YOU! I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!

[He finally stops to take a deep breath.]

...So, get back to me when you get this.

...I'm Dan.

Comments

[Visual]

[taiyoooohhh]

[And amidst all these ponies there's also a phoenix.]

Such threats! Do you truly intend to follow up on your actions? Or are you merely blowing hot air?

[Visual] 1/3

[angry_jerk]

I'm less planning on blowing hot air and more BLOWING UP YO-

[Visual]

[angry_jerk]

[Visual] done

[angry_jerk]

...the hell are you supposed to be?

[Visual]

[taiyoooohhh]

...[Well that diffused quickly.]

A phoenix, I believe.

[Visual]

[angry_jerk]

...And why is that?

Re: [Visual]

[taiyoooohhh]

The same reason you are a pony.

[angry_jerk]

How does making you a phoenix make me suffer?

[taiyoooohhh]

You are not the only one forcibly taken from your world. It would seem many of us here are, but for what reason I do not know. It is a mystery; one that I and many others here intend to shed light on.

Regardless, I doubt any of this is in place to serve and sort of "suffering" as it were.

[angry_jerk]

It's a realm full of grinning neanderthalls where I've been turned into a half-bat half-pegasus thing.

THIS IS HELL.

[taiyoooohhh]

Your definition of hell is rather strange. This place isn't all too bad.

[angry_jerk]

Are you kidding me? Everyone's always smiling. That's Grade-A suspicious!

[taiyoooohhh]

Clearly, you could learn something from it.

[angry_jerk]

Maybe you could learn from a FIST IN YOUR JAW.

[taiyoooohhh]

Again with the empty threats. It would seem you have no fist to execute such a task with.

[angry_jerk]

[Given that this guy really has a point, Dan chooses to spend the next minute angrily sputtering and grumbling loudly.]

Show you... smash your infernal... stupid phoenix face... remains off the ground...]

[taiyoooohhh]

[Otenko could wait for this guy to calm down, but what am patience during an opportunity for a lecture.]

Anger is not the way to deal with these situations. It tends to only make things worse. How embarrassing do you think it would be to end up in a pony jail your first night if things got out of hand? All that boasting, only to be taken down with minimal effort by someone- or somepony, I suppose- with magic or more combat experience.

[angry_jerk]

I'll deal with all that malarkey however I like! I can handle myself fine!

[taiyoooohhh]

Is that so? I look forward to seeing how you deal with such matters!

[Read: he'll get the popcorn.]

But, when you are ready to deal with the situation in a rational manner, I shall be here to assist you with settling in.

[angry_jerk]

And I'll be here to assist you with "mahmana mahmana."

[taiyoooohhh]

I'm sorry, I don't believe I am familiar with that term.

[angry_jerk]

[Blink. Blink.]

...It's not a real word. I made up nonsense talk.






I was mocking you.

[taiyoooohhh]

You've got to do better than that! I have seen Undead with better insults!

[angry_jerk]

Mocking you doesn't have to be exact! I just have to mock you!

For example, you're a butt-smelling dirtstain!

[taiyoooohhh]

Now you are simply being childish.