1st Revenge [Visual]

[angry_jerk]

[Today on the scroll network, the pony community may get the distinct honor of meeting this lovely batpony. The one glaring at the feed.]

Alright, here's how this is gonna work. Whoever is in charge of this vacuous collection of depravity, send me home immediately. Even if you do not, I will be merciful and choose to simply OBLITERATE this asinine carouse of deceit!

If you heed my words and don't try to bilk me of my safe return, I will try and forget that I have been kidnapped against my will, transformed into this abomination, dropped off in some candy coated sinkhole, with-

[He pauses mid-rant.]

On second thought, SCREW THE DEAL! I'LL ERADICATE WHATEVER MALEVOLENT JERKWAD THAT THINKS IT CAN STULIFY ME BY TURNING ME INTO A HORSE! I'll PURVERIZE YOU! I’LL EVISCERATE YOU! I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!

[He finally stops to take a deep breath.]

...So, get back to me when you get this.

...I'm Dan.

Comments

[hangthedj]

Yeah, 'cause you've proven to be so self-aware so far.

Come clean with me, are you just plain lookin' for things to be mad at now?

[angry_jerk]

I don't look for things! Things should stop showing up! ...And be less agonizingly awful!

[hangthedj]

Not gonna disagree there. Whole lotta dumb stuff goin' down here, I can tell ya that much. But, I think it'd be better if you just rolled with the punches instead'a getting all pissy 'bout every little thing.

I mean, I'm not tryin' to tell you how to run yer life, here. Just, y'know. Food for thought.

[Sweet Celestia, is she actually trying to help this guy?]

[angry_jerk]

And how in the hell would that help show those IMBECILIC LEMMINGS how wrong and stupid and deserving of a burning home they are?

[hangthedj]

[Aaaand right back to the sarcasm.]

Of course, how silly of me to think that wasn't a priority.

So, what exactly do you plan on doin' about any'a this? Gonna fight the power, stand up for your rights?

[angry_jerk]

Exactly! Maybe follow it up with some major forest fires, explosions, loss of limbs, whatever works.

[hangthedj]

Okay, outta all of that, I think I might actually be down with some explosions. Things've been too stable for too long, we gotta shake it up now.

[angry_jerk]

Stability is for dorks. Firey chaos and enjoying the cries of your enemies, that's where it's at.

[hangthedj]

Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Gotta keep things movin' gotta keep it fresh. I'm down with it.

'Cept with that whole 'cries of your enemies' thing. That I could take or leave.

[angry_jerk]

That's why you're a loser. You have no vision!

[hangthedj]

"Loser"?! Excuse you, but who's the one with the big pile'a dragon treasure in this exchange here?

Not you, I bet.