Badass Freaking Overlord Zetta (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
badassfreakingoverlord) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mylittlejamjar2013-04-10 08:39 am
badassfreakingoverlord) wrote in mylittlejamjar2013-04-10 08:39 am
"...A castle. I need an Overlord's castle!" [video]
[The video feed of the scroll displays... a castle. An ancient, crumbling castle surrounded by forest, yet with enough stability left that much of it still stands tall and proud.]
Okay, two questions. First, why is there a sweet if poorly-maintained castle in the middle of this forest, and second, mine now! Hyaaa ha ha ha ha!
Okay, two questions. First, why is there a sweet if poorly-maintained castle in the middle of this forest, and second, mine now! Hyaaa ha ha ha ha!
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[Zetta paces determinedly towards the shattered front doors, held head high and mane streaming proudly.]
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It has been its caretaker for 1,000 years, after all.
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[Without any warning whatsoever, a bear bursts out from behind one of the walls, roaring as it leaps onto Zetta. The unicorn has only a moment of shock before he disappears into a big dust cloud of violence.]
[It doesn't last long; a solid WHACK precedes the bear flying off into the distance, as the ruffled Overlord comes back into view.]
THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE!
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Though I'd still be careful, of course, if you're really planning to fix up the old homestead. The Forest, its magic and its creatures, are unpredictable and should never be underestimated.
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[A distant droning hum, rapidly approaching, distracts Zetta from his angry rant. He glances over his shoulder just in time to be engulfed by a swarm of bees.]
WHY ARE THERE BEES?!
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[Stop proving her right, Zetta.]
On the other hand, it has been 1,000 years since the place has been properly fumigated, at least.
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THEN THE DAY OF INSECTICIDES HAS COME!
[In formation behind him, five ponies crash to the ground, having apparently fallen directly out of the sky. They raise their heads as one and proudly, if vapidly, salute the Overlord, who points at the castle.]
Go, my loyal battle-monkeys! Bust a cap in the innocent yet oddly motivated animals dwelling within this castle!
[The minions obligingly charge into the castle.]
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Even if she knew he had scouted out the ruins before he even thought of announcing it to the world. The Pony Intelligence Agency at its best. Not that Zetta needs to know about that.]Well, good luck with that!
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You never answered the throne question!
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Hyaaa ha ha ha ha! Now, the Overlord shall have both a castle and a proper throne! Victory looms nearer with every second, Celestia!
[...that was probably meant to be a 'thank you'. Hey, at least he didn't call her 'you' or 'sun-chick'.]
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...!
[Either way, Celestia is suddenly SHOCKED! Though it might have something less to do with Zetta's declaration and more to do with the giant animal shadow that is suddenly looming over Zetta.]
Well, you might not have the throne for much longer. Or your head, for that matter!
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[Audaciously, Zetta grips the onrushing megasnake telekinatically, coils it into a spring shape, then stretches it out so the force of its snapback sends it flying.]
Assail me with forest animals once, shame on you. Assail me with forest animals twice, shame on cosmos's sick sense of humor! But assail me with forest animals three times, and witness the might of the Overlord!
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...Well, as I said, good luck.
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[The Overlord grins smugly as he rolls up the scroll.]