"...A castle. I need an Overlord's castle!" [video]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[The video feed of the scroll displays... a castle. An ancient, crumbling castle surrounded by forest, yet with enough stability left that much of it still stands tall and proud.]

Okay, two questions. First, why is there a sweet if poorly-maintained castle in the middle of this forest, and second, mine now! Hyaaa ha ha ha ha!

Comments

[sailorlaughter]

They're these magic gemstone-necklace-crown thingys that make giant rainbow FRIENDSHIP lasers! Me and my friends use them to defeat big meanypants monsters! And sometimes free big meanypants monsters...but then Discord turned nice, so that probably doesn't count.

[It's composed of several rare carbonate minerals that're hardly ever found in Equestrian rocks! It probably came out of a volcano somewhere in the Draconic Lands a long time ago.

...rock farm, baby.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Giant rainbow friendship lasers?

That's so stupid I KNOW it has to be powerful! So you're saying you still have these Elements of Harmony?

[sailorlaughter]

I don't! Twilight does! That way we can use them if Discord ever decides to go all loco in the coco again! [She turns her head upside-down demonstratively, in a way that would probably be impossible for anypony else.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

...Which one?

[Zetta knows perfectly well there are two! You can't trick him that easily, pink pony!]

[sailorlaughter]

I dunno, probably both of them now. They are living together! Ooooh, hey, now that there's two of a lot of us, maybe we can all use the Elements together to make a REALLY SUPER-DUPER GINORMOUS laser!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Wouldn't upgrading a friendship laser make it a love laser?

[sailorlaughter]

...naaaaaah. I like the girls and all, but not like that. Anyway, Princess Cadence already has a love laser if we ever need one!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hmph. Too bad, this place could use some more gratuitous fanservice.

[Zetta, don't say things like that to ponies. ESPECIALLY Pinkie Pie. There are... there are just lines, man.]

There's another princess?

[sailorlaughter]

Oh, there's a shop in town for that. Pool Tables and Fans! [Quills and Sofas may have set a bit of an odd Ponyville precedent.]

There's four! Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and Cadence!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

There's not much point trying to encourage ponies to show some skin, is there. This may take more adjustment than I thought.

[Zetta heaves a sigh.]

Hmm. Power struggles? Infighting? Influence blocs? I can leverage this.

[sailorlaughter]

Infighting? Why would the Princesses be fighting? They're the Princesses!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Exactly! Competition for power! Four people each seeking to become ultimate ruler!

[sailorlaughter]

They're already the rulers, silly stallion! That's what Princess means!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hmph. Of course, they each rule their separate areas now. But a balance of power like that is fragile. I bet they're all preparing their separate bids for power, ready to overthrow the others and claim all this world for their own.

[sailorlaughter]

...naaaaah! I mean, Celestia and Luna and Twilight already all rule the same place! Well, I guess Twilight does, we just had her coronation party so I'm not really sure yet. And Cadence rules the Crystal Empire, which is kinda part of Equestria too or something...maybe. I forget.

But they're all friends anyway, and sisters and nieces and stuff like that!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Thanks for the complete information. [Zetta has already figured out that this girl probably won't register the sarcasm.] So, they're a family... That complicates things.

[sailorlaughter]

Princesses Luna and Celestia are sisters, and so are Twilight and Cadence now, 'cause Cadence got married to Twilight's brother! Ooooh, does that make Twilight the princess's niece now, too? I bet she'd LOVE that!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

That explains a little why one of them hasn't made their play yet. That complicates matters.

[sailorlaughter]

Princess Celestia made a play! And we all got to be in it! I played Chancellor Puddinghead.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

That seems appropriate, but I meant "move" -- and you're going to make some dance comment now, aren't you.

[sailorlaughter]

...I can sing the Move It song if you want?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Zetta squints at her.]

Is it lame?

[sailorlaughter]

I don't think so! It goes, "I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it!"

[She stands on her hind hooves and does a little accompanying dance, to music that started playing from nowhere.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

It's not lame, but it's pretty overplayed. Do you have anything more contemporary?

[sailorlaughter]

I can do that gallop-y dance from South Kirinea!