mylittlejamjar | Fifth Starfall: A Confession [Visual]

[Unlike most times that Flare talks, she doesn't seem angry or concerned... more "ashamed". It shows in her voice, which is a bit more hesitant and awkward than usual.]

H...hey guys. I just wanted to come clean with something. Before that whole fog crap set in, I messed up. I hadn't really slept since I'd gotten back to being, well, my normal age, and I wasn't thinking too clearly. I'd been holding onto that thing to use as leverage, but it had started stinking up my place, so I figured I'd air it out and warn everypony of what was going on at the same time... maybe even smoke out allies of the guy I was looking for at the same time.

I bucked up, solid.

I don't know who that pony skin belonged to, but the clown owns it now. The one going by "Pierrot"? Yeah, it's his. Everything I've found out points to him being one of the statue ponies, and I can only imagine that he skinned a native in order to blend in around here to escape detection. I found out during that circus of his, and I never had a chance to confront him about it what with suddenly becoming a foal and forgetting about it.

I shoulda come clean with it as soon as I saw Pinkie Pie stepping in to defend him, but instead I just assumed she was in league with him. After all, how else would she know how to rebuild a statue pony unless she was working with them? And then to get it possessed by the spirit of Nemo, at that.

Look, fact of the matter is that I got way too overzealous and put everypony on edge right before everything went to hell.

And I'm sorry.

If you need to talk to me in person, you know my usual moping spots.

[And that said, she closes the scroll. She'll probably be fairly quiet should anyone approach her normally over the week.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uh, trust me, you're still freaking huge. There's not much of a comparison there.

You know what I mean, Mr. Jackass Freakin' Overlord.

I'm just saying the coat color doesn't really matter, damn it! That was just a weird reason!

[Really, there was no way this topic could stay TOO mopey for TOO long, given who is having the conversation.]

Besides, you can still kick like you did when you were a kid.

If it doesn't matter, then why do you care so much about me changing it back? I'm fine the way I am, now!

[Though she does quietly roll her eyes and go quiet when he talks about her as a kid again.]

I told you, I thought the reason was dumb! No one's saying you're not fine now, damn it!

[Well, if making Zetta angrily compliment her is Flare's goal, mission successful! ...it isn't, is it.]

And I started the whole thing by saying the thing was dumb! But you keep arguing with me about something we're actually in agreement about!

[...what has this conversation even become?]

I thought you were saying the reason your coat was lighter was dumb!

[Not mopey, and isn't that actually kind of important?]

It is! It's a dumb reason for it to be like this, but I gotta learn from my mistakes, and I can't do that if I don't accept my dumbness!

Right, but isn't "don't bleach yourself" a really specific lesson that probably doesn't need a dramatic statement of self-acceptance?

It's a lot more than the literal lesson! The entire reason I did that was because I thought I could force myself to belong!

[Zetta, half a syllable into another response, stops in blank confusion.]

Wait, how does THAT come out of the other?!

...I told you. I did it to try to get into the Royal Guard. I thought that all I needed to do was have a white coat like they do, too stupid to realize that it was probably magic that made it that way. I never got so much as a hoof in the door, because they could tell right away that I didn't have the self-control I needed to actually be someone Celestia trusted with her life.

I got pissy and went and beat up things in the Everfree for a few years and generally made everything worse, proving them right.

That sounds to me less like saying you learned you couldn't force yourself to fit in, and more than you just didn't know what you needed to do to fit in.

No, what I learned came later, with time - the fact that I was trying to fit in somewhere that I didn't belong.

[Zetta facehoofs.]

Oh for Magog's sake. And here I was actually starting to feel sympathy for you, when you took away the wrong lessons from this whole damn thing.

You belong where you want to belong, damn it.

...That's exactly what I mean. I thought I had to be a Royal Guard because that's what my talent told me I was destined to do.

I didn't learn that "you belong where you're happy" crap until about a year ago. [Right before she showed up here, in other words.]

No, that's not the same at all. The fact is, you can fit it anywhere you damn well choose. There's no place you 'belong' or 'don't belong' naturally. It has nothing to do with whether you CAN or CAN'T, it's just do you freaking WANT to.

I didn't want to! I felt like I had to! I want to protect ponies, sure. But I need to do it in my way.

Feeling like you had to is the same thing as feeling like you want to, except confused. But you got the right idea out of it in the end, so you've got that going for you at least.

Uhm... thanks. I guess.

I didn't know pep-talks were part of an evil overlord's schemes.

I'm not giving you a pep-talk! I was just asking about your coat!

[Yes, he is literally denying that entire conversation happened. What may be more pathetic is that he might even actually have convinced himself in that moment, thanks to her comment.]

I had a whirlwind, lewd romance with a bucket of white paint and my life was never the same again.

[That's not what you said at all before, Flare.

Then again, if Zetta's doing a complete 180, she figures she can do the same.]

[Yes, if they can both pretend he wasn't trying to cheer her up a little, that would be splendid.]

[Zetta leans back to consider this.]

Hmm. That's pretty hot to imagine, but I bet the cleanup was a bitch.

There wasn't enough turpentine in all of Equestria. The cleanup could never be finished. Thus, I am forever branded with the symbol of my unquenchable lusts.

[...Oh, did she never tell Zetta that she's got a bit of a closeted love of crappy romance novels? Well, now he knows.]

Unquenchable lusts, huh? At last, a sentiment in this pony-filled land I can support!

[Is he playing along, or is he totally serious? Does he even know?]

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