APPLE FACTS 18: APPLE TREES BLOSSOM IN SPRING AND MATURE IN AUTUMN [Visual]

[caneattheseapples]

So it looks like my ass has actually stayed stuck here for a full year, which I guess is kind of damn near amazing because you'd think the thing keeping us here would have gotten tired of my ass by now. But hey tell you what: because I'm in such a damn good mood, let's celebrate. You come to my farm today and if you're able to tell me an accurate fact about apples, I'll give you something nice. P.S. what I'm giving you is gonna be some kick ass apple shit.

Other than that know I've been asking for a lot of help lately but I gotta ask for a little more. So this Gala thing...what the hell is the business for this shit? Like, fanciest dance I was ever at was prom, but I suspect spiking the punch with Jack Daniels and cough syrup and necking in the janitor's closet is probably gonna get my ass thrown out of there a shitton quicker than it did at prom. I mean hell, I'm usually up for raising a ruckus but, you know. Kind of like to just have a nice time for once.

Already got a dress worked on and on the way, just need to know if there's anything else I need to avoid aside from how it's bad manners to flip tables over or punch a waiter or something.

Comments

[namedforcat]

I would say the Gala is just like that dinner party we went to, only with dancing and probably a little more entertainment. You had a pretty good handle on that.

[caneattheseapples]

Hell, if that's all maybe I can, though shit. They better liven it up a little bit. It was like a horror movie where you have to walk through a sea of mannequins or something.

[namedforcat]

That's all it is. And Gala's do tend to be more lively than dinner parties, because you're expected to dance and mingle instead of just mingle and eat.

And if you think that's a horror movie...watch the ones where the mannequins move if you're not watching them.

[caneattheseapples]

Dancing huh? Gonna have to bust my moves out? I can do that.

Man anything with mannequins is automatically a horror movie. They are some scary shit.

[namedforcat]

The nice thing about Gala's is the music tends to be a bit more varied. They don't have to stick with the pleasant background stuff.

And yes, yes they are. I don't feel comfortable with rows of identical faces staring at me.

[sailorlaughter]

You can actually do a LOT of stuff and still get invited back.

[caneattheseapples]

Really? Well hell, maybe this won't be that boring after all!

I mean, I'm not going to burn the place down or anything but I'd probably go crazy if it was just too damn hootie-tootie.

[sailorlaughter]

The first time we went, we kiiiiiiiiiiiinda destroyed the whole hall. Not on purpose!

[caneattheseapples]

[Maybe not on purpose, but JA still laughs at it.]

Hell of a first impression. Must've been hard to follow that up!

[sailorlaughter]

The next time I went was the one where Calice screwed up that statue.

[adandyinspace]

...There's such thing as horse prom?

[Seriously? What classes would horse high school even have? Cart Pulling 101? Haha, mental high five to himself.]

[caneattheseapples]

Just prom dude. We had ours along with the humans and shit.

[adandyinspace]

That's all sorts of messed up, baby.

[Because for some reason horses mingling with people is weirder than any other alien mingling with people. Go figure.]

Who the hell even finishes high school?

[caneattheseapples]

Hell, who doesn't? Shit, I did. Just barely. Nothing special though and hell, not like it did me any damn good. I learned the shit that really mattered on the streets. Well. The farm, really. Sometimes the streets.

[visual]

[strengthinkindness]

Mm...that's...probably not going to be the worst thing you could do at the Gala, really...

[visual]

[caneattheseapples]

Holy shit what keeps happening at these things?

[visual]

[strengthinkindness]

[She blushes.] U-Um...well, back home, I might have...scared a bunch of animals in the garden into...stampeding through the castle...

Re: [visual]

[caneattheseapples]

You scared something?

Sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a bitch with that, it's just

[Man, she's seen scary Fluttershy, and you aren't it.]

Hard to believe. Not gonna lie. Hard to believe.

[weaponizedgems]

Do I need to give you lessons in proper manners for the Gala?

[Because she will and Jappleack won't like it.]

[caneattheseapples]

Eh, no offense but for this I might only take the real basic, kiddy course for that. Pretty sure I ain't ready for advanced mannerisms and shit yet.

[weaponizedgems]

Hm... Are you sure? It might take some time, but I'm positive I could make you behave as a lady for one night out of the entire year.

[caneattheseapples]

I'm not really sure being a lady is something that'd really suit me. Think I'm a bit too raw for all that.

[And then she's quiet on something for a moment. And thinks about it and....aw, what the hell.]

[Private]

'Sides. Pretty sure the dude I'm taking with me wouldn't go for the whole lady thing too much either.

[poolicide]

...what is with you and apples?

[caneattheseapples]

They're kind of my thing. I appreciate them, I guess. Their simplicity. Their reliability.

That and they hurt like a bitch when you throw them at someone.

[poolicide]

Ok but have you considered eggs? They hurt as much with more mess.