mylittlejamjar | Requiem for a Scheme [Text]

I didn't do any of it for you... but I'm almost dismayed how stupid you all were. How many times, Equestria, did I say that I wouldn't resort to cheat tricks and dirty tactics to claim the throne and rulership of the world? Even I've admitted to more than a few of you that I'll have to work with you all to take out the Pale Pony once and for all.

And what happened when this all began? You friendship-minded ponies who pay lip service all assumed the absolute worst. And then you behaved like total jerks. You couldn't even put up a real fight or stop me, so you just decided to be pains in my ass. Messing with my castle? Throwing stuff through the windows? Broadcasting music over the Everfree? Waterboarding my changeling minion with my own freaking milk?

But that's not what amuses the hell out of me. What amuses the hell out of me is that you're still up to all of it. Even with everything out in the open, you're still writing angry notes to me denying me service and locking me out of your shops and keeping me away from your goods... and keeping my damn couch. And still broadcasting music over the Everfree.

I was working to defeat the person who brought us here, who has eaten the souls of your friends, who's done horrible things to you just because she could, and what do I get? Rage and fury, indignation and mockery, pranks and torment. I'm actually kind of impressed. Very demonic. I've said Equestria wasn't that much unlike a Netherworld already. Guess I was more right than you know.

Well, ponies, here's your chance to find out who you are. Right now, the damn Pale Pony has blocked all of my freaking mana power. Fact is, I can barely even move, which is a real pain in the ass when my freaking couch is gone. No spells, no minions... not even the changelings, I gave them time off with pay after the whole milk incident.

I'm as alone and defenseless as you could ever want me. So if you want to put an end to evil? Or just rid Equestria of a nuisance? Or just get whatever petty acts of revenge you want? Now's your chance. Let's see your true nature. Let's give me one last laugh as Calice turns out to be more right about you all than she was about me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So chocolate, then.

NO DAMN IT ARGH WHY

Because strawberry is more Dante's preference and I don't think you're a vanilla type of person.

NO SYMPATHY PARTIES

GO MAKE OUT WITH POLLO OR SOMETHING

I'M BUSY BEING DIGNIFIED OVER HERE</font?

Zetta, you're challenging people to finish you off so you can prove a point. Not to say there's much dignity in that, but you might as well have something to do while you wait.

Which reminds me: have you finished that Daring Do book yet? I can bring you the next in the series.

Reading is an undignified pastime for Overlords! But... one of the changelings liked it, so yeah. That would be good.

Sure thing.

Also do you have enough paint in the castle to undo all of the graffiti or are you just going to clean it up with magic?

Edited 2014-10-04 08:57 (UTC)

...that's a moot point at the moment, isn't it?

Well yes, but your castle did get ransacked during the ruckus and I don't know how bad it got.

It doesn't really matter till I can move again, does it?

If you do the preparation now, it'll save you the trouble later.

Or if you're going to keep moping, I'll do it myself.

...you may be underestimating how much I can't move. There's really not much I can do for preparations.

...It is really that bad?

I can lift my head. Talk. Write a little.

That's about it.

Then it's settled. I'm coming over.

THAT WAS NOT A BID FOR SYMPATHY

I know it wasn't, but I'm not going to leave you as helpless as you are.

I'M NOT HELPLESS I'M THE OVERLORD DAMN IT

[He may be getting a BIT garbled as he attempts to write out his anger.]

An overlord with all of his mana power expended. Until you recover enough to function on your own, you're stuck with me.

(Yeah, it's pretty clear she's made the decision for him, at this point. Especially since she's walked her way into the unguarded castle and begins looking for Zetta.)

[That's no difficult feat; he's in the throne room, of course, lying on the dais just in front of that great chair and trying to work up the strength to rage at the scroll. It isn't going well for him.]

...It really is worse than I thought.

(She's starting right with the ice cream, levitating it on over to the overlord.)

How about you start with this?

Would you stop it?!

[Zetta attempts to indignantly snatch the ice cream out of her magical grip, but she might not even recognize that he's exerting a feeble telekinetic pressure on the container.]

(If nothing else, it's a valiant effort.)

This is what I'm talking about. You would've thrown this in my face by now. Just...at least a spoonful or something, Zetta. I'm not sure which food items would recover enough SP for you to function, but maybe this will do the trick.

It has nothing to do with my SP! I haven't lost LEVELS or anything. It's my mana power that's been suppressed. Demons are naturally gifted with using it, so having it all completely missing is like if you lost all the energy to move your muscles.

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