Requiem for a Scheme [Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I didn't do any of it for you... but I'm almost dismayed how stupid you all were. How many times, Equestria, did I say that I wouldn't resort to cheat tricks and dirty tactics to claim the throne and rulership of the world? Even I've admitted to more than a few of you that I'll have to work with you all to take out the Pale Pony once and for all.

And what happened when this all began? You friendship-minded ponies who pay lip service all assumed the absolute worst. And then you behaved like total jerks. You couldn't even put up a real fight or stop me, so you just decided to be pains in my ass. Messing with my castle? Throwing stuff through the windows? Broadcasting music over the Everfree? Waterboarding my changeling minion with my own freaking milk?

But that's not what amuses the hell out of me. What amuses the hell out of me is that you're still up to all of it. Even with everything out in the open, you're still writing angry notes to me denying me service and locking me out of your shops and keeping me away from your goods... and keeping my damn couch. And still broadcasting music over the Everfree.

I was working to defeat the person who brought us here, who has eaten the souls of your friends, who's done horrible things to you just because she could, and what do I get? Rage and fury, indignation and mockery, pranks and torment. I'm actually kind of impressed. Very demonic. I've said Equestria wasn't that much unlike a Netherworld already. Guess I was more right than you know.

Well, ponies, here's your chance to find out who you are. Right now, the damn Pale Pony has blocked all of my freaking mana power. Fact is, I can barely even move, which is a real pain in the ass when my freaking couch is gone. No spells, no minions... not even the changelings, I gave them time off with pay after the whole milk incident.

I'm as alone and defenseless as you could ever want me. So if you want to put an end to evil? Or just rid Equestria of a nuisance? Or just get whatever petty acts of revenge you want? Now's your chance. Let's see your true nature. Let's give me one last laugh as Calice turns out to be more right about you all than she was about me.

Comments

[text]

[polyturtle]

WAIT YOU MEAN I GENETICALLY SPLICED AND MODIFIED 27 DIFFERENT CROPS FOR ETERNAL DARKNESS FOR NOTHING

[text]

[kuukai]

27

[ really ]

[Text]

[caneattheseapples]

I'm really not sure what the hell kind of reaction you thought you were going to get from us when it looked like you kidnapped others important to us but after this bullshit you're alright with me I guess. My desire to curb stomp you is gone, at least.

[Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I'm sure they appreciate the compliment to their acting skills.

[sailorlaughter]

Iiiiiii've actually been pranking you pretty much since last year. You still haven't found them all.

But I'm sorry if these ones made you feel bad. Pranks aren't supposed to do that.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I know I haven't. I am in fact painfully aware of that.

[Text]

[kingofthetvworld]

I tried to get you ungrounded. If you really want candy that badly, I can get you some but don't tell the big boss.

PS You still owe me a snack cake.

[Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Talk to Celestia. She got half of them.

[text/action]

[verygassy]

[She's incidentally writing this as she's standing right behind you in the castle. Still in disguise as 'Zetta'.]

Is the pony who did that to you the same one who punched me in the face?

[text/action]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Seriously, what the hell.

[It's easy enough to pull this sort of stunt when Zetta can barely turn his head to look at her, let alone move. At the moment he's sprawled on the dais where his throne is, unable to get into it either.]

Action

[superstylishstallion]

*There is a bloodgoyle knocking on your door, Zetta. Yes, knocking. And it's carrying a folded up note in its beak.*

Re: Action

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Uh... good luck with that. The Overlord wasn't joking about being unable to move. Demons, after all, had an innate knack and ability with mana power. Jamming it means that he is practically having to relearn muscular movements from scratch and while incredibly weak.]

[Text]

[firstofthefallen]

No creature is far from being a demon, as far as they'd like to say otherwise.

Did you expect anything other than ingratitude from them?

[Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hearing the Pale Pony declare friendship is worthless made it all the more amusing.

[Visual]

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

...

Well, this certainly invalidates the bet between us, doesn't it?

[Yes, that's all she's concerned about.]

[text because, let's face it, Zetta really doesn't want people to see how weak he is...]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

No, I'm pretty sure I totally showed you. After all, my plan succeeded.

private

[meltsicecastles]

...You did put on quite the show for her benefit. It's rather impressive.

[text/private]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[What the hell another Trixie. A hotter Trixie, even. Damn.]

Hmph. You have no idea.

[text]

[like_a_dragon]

Where r u?

[text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Where the hell else would I be but my damn castle?!

[Action]

[pirateponyprincess]

[In all honesty? Celestia was planning on keeping the couch, even if Zetta was on their side. After reading this, however, he's convinced her. No need to be a jerk about it and hold grudges.]

[And so, about an hour after the text goes up, there's a flash of magic nearby wherever Zetta is. with that flash, a familiar couch appears, not only returned, but cleaned, some of the weaker springs replaced, a few of the stains removed, and a note on the center cushion:]

You are forgiven.

But I really would have liked to know about all this beforehand.

[text]

[trustme]

1 You are a great actor and you fooled everypony. Bravo! Are you truly going to guilt everypony for taking action because they believed in your act? If your intentions were real you would potentially be wiping out life on the planet. That's a damn serious threat in case you didn't notice. People are going to get angry even if it's a rouse and even if you out power them. "I'm ruining your Netherworld Zetta! Just kidding!" You would be angry as well.

2 You speak about how you would take some sort of honest path to power if you really were trying to take over. The only honest path to taking over is a peaceful one that doesn't involve minions, or violence, or villainous songs and spells. Don't try to shine a light of purity on your desire to rule here.

3 I think your missing mana is punishment enough. You might just look in the mirror for once and see what you really are behind all that power. Want to guess what that is? Spoilers: You are not above the others here.

4 I'm among those who can eventually forgive this incident, and I don't condone all the things other ponies did to you over the last week but please! This letter of yours is more like an attempt to bully others into respecting you than a request for an apology.

[text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I think you're missing the point. I don't freaking care about apologies or so forth, myself. In the Netherworld, that kind of stuff is standard -- and you're all lucky it was an act, because if I'd been serious, I would have made an example out of the first couple of jerk moves to put a stop to the rest of them.

But Calice seemed to be testing the value of what Equestria loves. All the friendship and love and tolerance and everything. A bunch of stuff that wasn't shown this whole entire venture. So maybe, just maybe, Equestria ought to take a good look at itself and decide what it really believes.

Oh, and don't think I'm sugarcoating my intention here. I'm still evil. And my path to power is through total domination by strength. No tricks, no hostages, just destroying my enemies.

[action]

[queenbees]

Zetta!

[HI THERE.]

Do you have any idea how worried I was for you? And how did you get out of bed?!

[action]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Very slowly.

[The Overlord has made it all the way down to the dais on which his throne sits, and that appears to be the literal limit to his strength (besides sending text messages to people on the scrolls, which as everyone knows is effortless.]

What the hell were you worried for? I'm freaking Zetta.

[private]

[noxequus]

I forget. Is proper etiquette to suggest that I was aware of the cunning scheme from the beginning and held my troops back as an attempt to keep from interfering?

...also, is there any way I can assist further?

[private]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I would have told you, but I had to keep it secret from as many ponies as possible... and you were far more likely to accept it without just turning on me than Twilight and Dame Rarity were.

There's nothing I need, though. [He is, of course, lying shamelessly.]

[text]

[kuukai]

feel better?

u kno, i thought an arms race was a little out of place here but u kno what equestria's really been missin

a buckin flame war

glad u pointed that out 4 me

[text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Should I lie and say I'm NOT proud of you all for the petty jackassery you all pulled during this? It was stupid, but it was delightfully demonic.

[Wondrous Bolt line]

[selfmadespeedster]

It's not like you can expect to just walk into the weather factory and get high fives after your robbery. Give some ponies time to cool off from thinking they were going to die of starvation in the dark!

Your actions really did seem out of character. But seriously, are you still planning to try taking over Equestria? What is it you're after Zetta?

[Wondrous Bolt line]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Of COURSE I'm going to take over Equestria. AFTER I deal with the damn Pale Pony. I'm not blind to who the real enemy here is... and I'm even willing to work with the damn ponies to beat her.

[text]

[tookalevelinbadass]

Forgive my questions but I have never met you before.

Are you a Dark Lord or a friend of the Princesses?

[text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I'm an Overlord. 'Dark Lord' is a more specific title. I am definitely not anyone's friend... just an unwilling ally.

[Text]

[cruel_kindness]

Says the idiot who thinks it's a good idea to traumatize and try to kill a sea of dogs and not feel a single bucking fewmet of regret.

Kaythxdie.

[Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Somewhere Calice is pleased to hear that. Just so you know.

Text

[misplacedxsheath]

You can consider your ban from Otsuki Chacha revoked. In fact, once everyone has recovered from the battle with the Pale Pony, I'll be requesting that you share anything you might have learned about her that we aren't yet aware of. In person, obviously, as this debacle has proven that it's not impossible to keep secrets from her.

I do have a complaint, however. There are a number of ways to spread information without relying on the scrolls. Had knowledge of this been more widespread, it's doubtful that as many would harbor resentment over your threats. As it is, I expect quite a few will even find it difficult to trust the native rulers...particularly given the incident with the mirrors. There are certain things that it's simply foolish to keep from your allies, particularly if you want their continued cooperation.

[Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

The plan wouldn't have worked if you all knew about it. Simple as that. Calice had to believe.

[visual]

[marearcana]

Well, I wanted to both apologize and thank you.

What I said to when you first announced all this... the cover, that is... that was real. I didn't know it was a fake takeover plot until after I'd already stopped talking to you. I'm sorry.

[It's clear now what he wants. He doesn't want to take over Equestria. If he did he'd have skipped all this and gone straight for their throats.]

[visual]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Don't thank me. I didn't want you included. Celestia insisted. You were reacting just the way I wanted you too.

[Text]

[magicalrealist]

So how many tubs of ice cream should I bring?

[Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I don't want ice cream! I'm an Overlord! And you hanging around would wreck anyone trying to enact petty vengeance!

[text]

[needsteaplz]

Margulis has already voiced opinions to mine but and as the owner of Otsuki Chacha, I verify you're welcome back at the shop.

In fact, I'll cover your bill for any tea of your liking and a few homemade meals or so. It's only right you should get a second chance. Just don't pull off a stupid stunt by yourself again without more of us knowing.

[text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

It wouldn't have worked if you all knew about it, damn it.

It probably won't work a second time, though.

[rafflesia_neighponi]

[...Oh. Oh dear...]

I, I am sorry, Zetta-san. I will come by in a bit to help you. It is only right...

[She feels bad for assuming the worst.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

You're not supposed to help me or apologize, damn it!

[Text]

[ponycure_dream]

Before your fight, Zetta, I was actually quite angry with everything. I was angry that we weren't doing something now. That Celestia's idea of friendship was essentially letting a threat like this run rampant for so long. I didn't like it, but I stayed my hand. That didn't mean I wasn't angry still.

...then, something happened during the period. I was forced to fight a friend to save them and, in the process, things became clearer to me. I couldn't see the plan going on, but I was willing to give them a chance.

I'm glad I did, though. I actually feel a whole lot better now. It was a strange and dangerous plan if it didn't work right, but... it worked, didn't it?

I'm not angry with you, Zetta. In fact, I guess you can say I'm... impressed.

Thank you.

[Text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I don't want your thanks. But I'll settle for some recognition that I'm a greater force than you imaged. If nothing else, you all damn well should have learned just how dangerous I am from this.

[anon, text]

[hattrickery]

not sorry for turning your castle pink

am sorry for the invisible blood though

should have gone with the neon cyan blood like i originally planned

[ text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Calice would be proud.