mylittlejamjar | Requiem for a Scheme [Text]

I didn't do any of it for you... but I'm almost dismayed how stupid you all were. How many times, Equestria, did I say that I wouldn't resort to cheat tricks and dirty tactics to claim the throne and rulership of the world? Even I've admitted to more than a few of you that I'll have to work with you all to take out the Pale Pony once and for all.

And what happened when this all began? You friendship-minded ponies who pay lip service all assumed the absolute worst. And then you behaved like total jerks. You couldn't even put up a real fight or stop me, so you just decided to be pains in my ass. Messing with my castle? Throwing stuff through the windows? Broadcasting music over the Everfree? Waterboarding my changeling minion with my own freaking milk?

But that's not what amuses the hell out of me. What amuses the hell out of me is that you're still up to all of it. Even with everything out in the open, you're still writing angry notes to me denying me service and locking me out of your shops and keeping me away from your goods... and keeping my damn couch. And still broadcasting music over the Everfree.

I was working to defeat the person who brought us here, who has eaten the souls of your friends, who's done horrible things to you just because she could, and what do I get? Rage and fury, indignation and mockery, pranks and torment. I'm actually kind of impressed. Very demonic. I've said Equestria wasn't that much unlike a Netherworld already. Guess I was more right than you know.

Well, ponies, here's your chance to find out who you are. Right now, the damn Pale Pony has blocked all of my freaking mana power. Fact is, I can barely even move, which is a real pain in the ass when my freaking couch is gone. No spells, no minions... not even the changelings, I gave them time off with pay after the whole milk incident.

I'm as alone and defenseless as you could ever want me. So if you want to put an end to evil? Or just rid Equestria of a nuisance? Or just get whatever petty acts of revenge you want? Now's your chance. Let's see your true nature. Let's give me one last laugh as Calice turns out to be more right about you all than she was about me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you're so evil why do you care so much about the level of friendship and love?

How did you become evil to begin with Zetta?

I'm a demon. I'm an embodiment of evil! And as an Overlord, I have a responsibility to spread it!

But why do I care? I told you why. Because Calice cares, and I care about defeating her. To that end, I'll even ally myself with you all, and use your precious positive emotions as a weapon against her. And I prefer my weapons sharp!

"The enemy of my enemy" and all that isn't it? Despite your dislike of the "f-word."

We all know you're a powerful Overlord but what gave you the idea that you're the embodiment of evil? The word "demon" can mean a lot of different things to different people. Simply being one and a high ranking one doesn't necessarily mean you are THE embodiment of evil.

I'm also an Overlord. Ruler of a Netherworld? 'Evil' is straight-up in the job description.

A part of the job? Says who?

What do you mean, 'says who'? You don't rule a demon populace without being evil! That'd be like the Seraph being a convicted felon!

Au contraire! The universe is so vast and there are so many versions of it. In my travels I have met kind and well to do demons, and angels that were terrible and evil. [Ugh, very bad angels. Very troublesome.]

So you see, being the ruler of demons does not mean you have to be evil.

Judging by what I have seen of your minions, they might enjoy a break from being bad.

Oh come on, there's a logic flaw you could pilot Super Battleship Yoshitsuna through in that argument. Every race has its freaks and outcasts, even angels and demons. But you don't rise to LEAD a race without exemplifying it! None of those nice demons and evil angels were Overlord or Seraphs!

Again you are incorrect. Those evil angels for example, are an entire race.

Not to mention, "freaks" can be different in ways that make them exemplary leaders. And a single leader can make decisions that change the way of their people for generations.

Perhaps you should speak with Discord about his own experience reforming his ways. These ponies clearly have a way of making troublemakers rethink their ways. I bet they've already started to get to you.

Then the problem is just semantics, isn't it? Just because a race SAYS they're angels doesn't mean they're the personification of good and kindness and all that crap that actual angels are. I mean suppose you met a bunch of giant moths that called themselves ponies. You wouldn't lump then in with ponies and say some ponies are equines and some are insects, right?

Nobody's 'gotten' to me. I've been aware of this crap from the start and I've made it clear I don't do this friendship crap.

Denial. I'm not surprised that's your reaction. Eventually you'll see you have nothing to be ashamed about, calling yourself a friend of these ponies.

People who claim denial as proof just want to believe what they've already decided, no matter what!

There is proof in the conversations you have had with your friends and your actions towards them. You are no doubt still a bully to some ponies but to others you show kindness in a roundabout way.

It is obvious to many yet you refuse the label of friendship for these relationships. That is why I accuse you of denial.

Those aren't friendships! There are some ponies I respect or even like, but that doesn't make us friends!

[Doctor says nothing but teases him with a couple hooves opening and closing together as if to puppet Zetta's words. Then he has a loud laugh.]

Look, even I have the emotional range and capacity to understand that liking and respect aren't the same as friendship.

Then it is acceptable for me to ask the ponies I suspect are your friends if you are their friend or not?

Go ahead!

[He'd made his opinions perfectly clear to all of them, and they in turn had respected that! The idea that they might tell someone else something other than what they told him never crosses his mind.]

All right then. I'll do that. I'll speak with you again sometime.

Requiem for a Scheme [Text]

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