mylittlejamjar | Requiem for a Scheme [Text]

I didn't do any of it for you... but I'm almost dismayed how stupid you all were. How many times, Equestria, did I say that I wouldn't resort to cheat tricks and dirty tactics to claim the throne and rulership of the world? Even I've admitted to more than a few of you that I'll have to work with you all to take out the Pale Pony once and for all.

And what happened when this all began? You friendship-minded ponies who pay lip service all assumed the absolute worst. And then you behaved like total jerks. You couldn't even put up a real fight or stop me, so you just decided to be pains in my ass. Messing with my castle? Throwing stuff through the windows? Broadcasting music over the Everfree? Waterboarding my changeling minion with my own freaking milk?

But that's not what amuses the hell out of me. What amuses the hell out of me is that you're still up to all of it. Even with everything out in the open, you're still writing angry notes to me denying me service and locking me out of your shops and keeping me away from your goods... and keeping my damn couch. And still broadcasting music over the Everfree.

I was working to defeat the person who brought us here, who has eaten the souls of your friends, who's done horrible things to you just because she could, and what do I get? Rage and fury, indignation and mockery, pranks and torment. I'm actually kind of impressed. Very demonic. I've said Equestria wasn't that much unlike a Netherworld already. Guess I was more right than you know.

Well, ponies, here's your chance to find out who you are. Right now, the damn Pale Pony has blocked all of my freaking mana power. Fact is, I can barely even move, which is a real pain in the ass when my freaking couch is gone. No spells, no minions... not even the changelings, I gave them time off with pay after the whole milk incident.

I'm as alone and defenseless as you could ever want me. So if you want to put an end to evil? Or just rid Equestria of a nuisance? Or just get whatever petty acts of revenge you want? Now's your chance. Let's see your true nature. Let's give me one last laugh as Calice turns out to be more right about you all than she was about me.

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[Did you miss what he did to Calice, Rarity? If she hadn't whipped out that cheap power-theft crap, he'd have ended it right then and there.]

I'm not much for getting help. But there's a hell of a lot to be said for a girl who can fight by my side. And even more to be said for one that looks incredible doing it. Guess I can't complain there.

If you did complain, I may have to walk out and leave you all alone to fend for yourself.

[She's teasing of course and no, she didn't miss what happened with Calice. But, that's not entirely what Rarity was referring to.]

[Ordinarily, he'd protest that he didn't need the help anyway, nor did he want pity or sympathy. But... that might actually bother her. So he won't be doing that.]

[And he's too weak to do what he'd really prefer to do instead, which is grab her and make out with her for a few hours or so. Which was a damn shame.]

If I have a complaint, it's that we haven't gotten to fight on the same side yet.

[Such a shame indeed.]

Then perhaps we shall change that at some point, if you wish to do the right thing more often.

I've known that my interests and Equestria's interests would align for a while now. I hate to say it, but we're all on the same side.

That being the case, then perhaps we shall fight together sooner than you think.

Edited 2014-11-05 06:31 (UTC)

There's a lot of things I look forward to doing together with you. [Although all Zetta can do at the moment is offer her a playful leer.]

[She rolled her eyes at the playful leer.]

Darling, you are in no shape at the moment for those kind of activities and I dare say that if that is what you want, I am going to make you work for that privilege.

What the hell do you think I've been doing for months now? [Zetta, at least, has enough strength to manage a chuckle. Don't expect many of his trademark evil laughs for a while, though.] You're pretty right about the shape part, though.

[Rarity smiled at his chuckle.]

Oh I know, and you are nearly to your goal.

[She leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek.]

Are you sure you should be telling me that? I might get arrogant.

[...there's so much wrong with that statement, where does she even begin?]

[Where indeed...]

Darling, you are already the most arrogant male I've ever met. I don't think I have to worry about you getting even more so.

Huh. Really. Considering some of history of yours I've seen or heard about, even I'm impressed with myself.

[He grins with his old confident and poise, which lasts exactly three seconds before he realizes he can't really toss his head back properly.]

Damn...

[She cannot help but giggle softly.]

Oh don't get me wrong, King Titan and even General Esteem were arrogant self-centered egotistical bastards, but, you are on a completely different level darling.

You at least know how to take a joke and not blow up an entire city.

That's because I have some freaking confidence. A mild insult can't rattle me when I know my true strength!

[Sure, he's lying! But she is right; he'll yell and stomp around if he's insulted, but destruction generally doesn't come into the picture.]

Of course you do darling.

[Yes, she's aware that he's lying. But, she also knew that with displays of anger he was still more contained than the two stallions she mentioned. Which, is one of the many reasons she considers him a decent pony.]

[Yeah, from what he's heard from her and seen in her dreams, even he gets why he's a 'decent pony' in comparison to the unrestrained monsters she'd known. This earns another little quiet chuckle from Zetta.]

I have class.

[And again, compared to what he'd seen...]

Requiem for a Scheme [Text]

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