mylittlejamjar | Second Album [audio]

[At first, there's only silence. Well, relative silence. If you listen closely, you could here a bit of awkward shuffling in the background, with the occasional distant mumble of "Where the heck did I put that thing?" coupled with a lengthy string of colorful and creative curses. Eventually, the background noise subsides. There's a sound of a needle hitting a record and...]

[Music. Well, for a certain value of the term, anyhow. The audio quality's fairly subpar, like somebody dragged the record player out of the trash, and the recording pops and skips in places where it probably shouldn't. As the song ends and the music fades away, a voice- raspy and lightly accented- cuts in.]

Gooood afternoon, Ponyville, this is the one and only DJ Pon-3 comin' at ya loud and proud from our own little patch'a heaven, our home away from home! It's three to the PM at the top'a the hour, a let me tell ya it is a scorcher out there today. Looks like the Big C's got it out for us today, eh listeners? But, lucky for all of you, we here at the studio are dedicated to providing you with quality entertainment. We're gonna be bringin' you the hits, all day, everyday, whether you like it or not!

So, if y'all got any request, shout-outs, call-outs, knock-outs, drop-outs, smoke-outs, workouts, or you just plain wanna make yourself heard, you go ahead and give us a holler. Remember, Ponyville, we're here for you.

Now, without further adue, this next track's from the Pony of Pop herself, Sapphire Shores, and in this humble DJ's opinion, it definitely stands out against her more recent work. Enjoy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nah, if this was a prank, you'd know about it. Trust me.

No, you're on the air with DJ PON-3, right now, as we speak! You got anything to say, or are you just gonna give us some dead air here?

Um... hello?

[Boy howdy, somebody get this clown some coffee.]

Listen, okay, um. This is embarrassing on the world-level, but you're going to have to help me out. I've never heard... music... like that before at all.

[To be honest, Pierrot thought somebody was playing a particularly loud and convoluted alarm clock sound, but he'd never admit that.]

Well, guess there's a first time for everything, isn't there? And that, caller, is what we're here for.

Ya gotta broaden your musical horizons a little, y'know? Really get a grip on what's out there.

Forgive me my narrow musical experience, my dear D.J... My, ah, career leaves me little time to do much exploring of the world of melody.

But seriously, what was that? It sounded like... electronic club music? Maybe?

Closer, caller, real close, but no cigar!

Got two more guesses here, you're gonna wanna make 'em count.

Guesses, huh? Do I get anything if I get it right?

Alright, my next guess is... ehh... Techno-punk club music.

[In case he isn't making it clear, Pierrot knows nothing about musical genres.]

You get my appreciation and that, caller, is as good a gift as any.

Still a bit off the mark, but you're gettin' warmer. C'mon now, keep at it.

Appreciation is all well and good my dear DJ, but I'm starting to forget what it is I'm even guessing.

[Yeah, he really needs some coffee.]

For two guesses that have been surprisingly close for knowing nothing about the music scene, perhaps I have earned a hint or two?

Yeah, I think it's about time I put ya on the right track. So, here's a little tidbit, just between you an' me.

[She leans closer to the scroll, and her tone changes to a conspiratorial whisper.]

It rhymes with 'rubstep'.

.........

...'tubstep'?

[...Yeah, looks like that's the best he's got.]

[She makes a little 'eh eh' noise with her mouth, like a game show sound effect.]

Oooooh, sorry there hoss. Had it by this much.

[You can't see it but she's holding her hooves really close together now.]

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