[This holiday season, the scroll feed is proud to present... a bleary-eyed sky-blue pony with white bed hair that encompasses his entire head. Groggily, he pushes himself semi-upright and smacks his lips, blinking off his sleep.]

...hhh...where...where in the world am I, do you suppose?...Archimedes? Archimedes, are you about somewhe- oh.

[Enough cognisance has been regained that he suddenly notices his hoof, and he examines it for a moment.]

...mm. That's odd. I don't remember turning into a shetland pony. Let's see now...

[Finally getting up, the old equine trots around a bit, giving himself a once over.]

Beard's still here, unusual, that. The rest seems OH! Oh, that had better not be a tattoo down there. Ngh... won't rub off. No, that won't do, I'm not going through that nonsense again. Now, where I w...Hmm. Glasses still there, that's good. Pointy hat? Yes, yes, that seems to be in good nick. Bit crumpled, but nothing a goo- ...by george, is that a horn on my head?!

[A large orange Puma can be seen licking her paw, before speaking to address the masses.]

I am not the most talkative of individuals, nor am I the most social, but I suppose I should at the very least introduce myself to you lot as long as I'm going to be staying here until goddess only knows when. Some of you may have seen me before, some of you are likely familiar with Nephenee who is a friend of mine from my homeworld, and some of you may have no idea who or what I am.

My name is Lethe, and I am a Laguz warrior of Gallia. I have found myself trapped in my combat form for my entirety of my stay here it would seem, yet that is little concern to me. I am quite adept in this form, possibly even more so than my normal form, however I wanted to assure the populace that I am not hostile. While I may be a carnivore by nature, I am capable of eating other foods and I am certainly not a wild monster who will attack anything on sight.

[Lethe pauses, trying to think about whether or not she'd said enough.]

I'll be staying with Nephenee for the time being, if you have any comments or concerns feel free to voice them now.

[Everyone will see Strong Bad surrounded by a variety of props: a few trees, some scarecrows, a cart crudely dolled up to look like a futuristic car, a nunchuk-gun, a throne with thorns sticking out of it, and a black electric guitar with red streaks. His mane is tied back for once, and he's sporting a pair of bright orange shades. He's grinning, clearly excited about something.]

Listen up! I know y'all have been busy fluffing your fluff pieces, barbing your dark-umentaries, and punching out action scenes for your film projects, but if anybody's looking for an amazing last-minute career opportunity? I've got one with your name on it, in neon lights. Under my name, of course.

Back home, I'm something of an awesome director, writer, and actor. The triple threat. My crown jewel was the Dangeresque trilogy: the gripping tale of a top-notch secret agent and his team of varying levels of competence, solving mysteries and jumping off tall buildings. This'll be a total reboot of the concept: new characters, new dangers, more horses. That last one's made it kind of hard to hold a gun, but I'm finally getting to a point where I might be able to make this movie.
( opportunity of a lifetime right here )

Hey, everypony~

[Nephenee is smiling and...Neph, why are you covered in paint? Looks like she's working on a room of some sort.]

Pardon my bein' a mite messy, but Ah jus' wanted to let folks know 'bout a few things!

First off, the house has been goin' real well, an' we'll be doin' a housewarmin' of sorts Saturday, jus' to celebrate the house bein' done finally, an' everypony's invited! We'll have food an' such, an' just have a good time gettin' to know each other more an' enjoyin' the new place. We even got a backyard an' swings an' stuff for the kids to play in! [Granted, there aren't terribly many kids, but there's enough for her to want to let them know.]

Second, wanted to know if any gals wanted to come with me to Canterlot for a girls' day out soon, 'fore Thursday? Grab lunch, shop around, stuff like that.

Finally, Ah met a bunch of y'all 'round this time last year, an' wanted to celebrate that. Dad, Bertie, Dante, Gwenie, Minato, Yayoi...[She lists off several good friends she met in September through December last year], did we wanna do anything that day? Not all of us at once, necessarily, but maybe a few small get-togethers or somethin'? Ah wanna celebrate bein' friends for that long, since Ah've never had too many 'fore here, but not right sure what to do...

~~~~
( Private to Yukiko )

[Hello, ponies. Celestia is in her now-open sky bedroom, laying on her bed. Now that she's back to normal and there is no beehive hair to distract everyone, its pretty obvious that there are injuries on the princess, as well as weird burns on her, that she is healing up with a soft glow of her horn.]

My ponies. I told you after the battle, I would explain everything. That time is right now. I...had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but you deserve to know...

[There was a pause before she continued.]

( These fragments I have shored against my ruins )

[ At the very, very top of the building in the center of the town square, there is a railing around the top of the tower that no one should ever just hang out at. Pegasii could easily get up there, sure, but here was a Unicorn standing up there. At the very top of it, peering out over the railing. The very top of the building is visible before the scroll pans down to show Avispa's face. ]

[ Honestly, this entire situation feels a lot like deja vu and that's intentional. She remembers the last time she was here, almost like it was yesterday, and so she'd chosen to come to this exact spot to make her re-entrance. For now, she stares into the scroll silently, blinking once... twice... four times total before she speaks. ]

Oh, um, hello everyone! [ A glance up, then back down. ]

I'm Avispa, um, is this the same place? Is it still Equestria?

[ Whoops, seems like she's floating her scroll with awesome Unicorn powers, because she hops up onto the railing with startling ease and is definitely not holding the scroll herself. Very visible to others is her front left leg which is all metal, as is her face... which isn't looking at the scroll at all. She's looking off in the distance. ]

Maybe Sugarcube Corner still has cupcakes maybe, um...

[ Priorities. ]

[ Looks like she's not going to come back to finish this message she started. ]

Hey, guys! So, guess what - y'know the whole Night Market thing? [Look, she used the right - ] In Lunariffica? WELL!

It's basically just like another part of Ponyville, right? But I was talking to the Cakes, and we all totally agree - it's way way WAY too far away from Sugarcube Corner! The people who live there would have to go for ages to get their delicious pastries and baked goods! It'd be awful! So me and Hubert and Cammy are going and we're gonna open up a new Sugarcube Corner on that end of town!

I'm still gonna be living here, duh, and Hubert and Cammy are gonna help me work there, but we can't do everything, 'cause me and Hubie still have to sleep and eat, and Cammy doesn't but he also doesn't have any limbs or a mouth! So he's not very good at baking or taking orders yet.

So does anyone wanna come work for us?

[When the scroll flares to life, it reveals a dour-looking griffon with black feathers, green eyes, and a blue-gray body. He is pacing, looking up occasionally at the scroll. Even from the limited view, it's clear he has a limp. It becomes apparent why a moment later when he moves farther away, sits down on his haunches and glares at the scroll viewer. From just below his elbow down, his right foreleg is missing. In its place is an iron rod with spikes at the end.]

Good afternoon.

[The way he says this sounds more like an indictment of this particular afternoon and its quality rather than a greeting.]

My name is Detective Inspector Ironclaw. As has likely been made clear already, Cloudsdale is now over Ponyville. Myself and my contingent of griffons attempted to move it over the course of the night to neutral territory. We were waylaid by a rabble rouser.

[He glances off-screen for a moment, expression going somehow more stony.]

After extensive negotiations with the Pegasi Council and the Princesses Celestia and Luna this morning, we have agreed to release him as a show of good faith. In return, we are to have the full and unconditional cooperation of all Equestrian citizens in the search for our weather gem. It is a large, blue sapphire infused with our weather magic. It was stolen approximately nine months ago from our factory in Griffaltar. We have made due with the remaining one, but it is being over-taxed and the lands beyond Equestria's boarders have been experiencing severe drought as we have struggled to supply necessary weather.

We know the thief must have been a pegasus. No unicorn or Earth pony would even be able to reach the gem given our enchantments over the area. And no griffon would steal it. We intend to search Cloudsdale.

We also require the new pony known as Efraim Gatsby, Visitor 2-4-6-0-1 to the Griffaltar Weather Factory, to step forward for questioning in connection with the theft. If he will not come forward, we will use what force may be necessary to compel him.

We have no wish to remain here longer than we must. We ask for your cooperation and have been assured that measures will be taken by the Pegasi Council to ensure it.

[And sometime after Yayoi's warning, there's another post, this time showing an injured Cure Dream, trying to keep herself upright and conscious.]

Everyone, please... that creature. It's not what you think - it's one of us. It's Lyra. Something transformed her. She needs our help. H-Hold on...

[And she goes for Lyra's scroll and lets the unreleased visual play on from the scroll]

"It hurts so much... that fall... I need power to help them... can't let these things hurt my friends..." /the hoof comes up holding the Helheim fruit. "These things... they gave the Inves power... they gave those Armored Riders power... give me power, so I can help them...!" /the hoof comes close and the sound of messy chewing is heard, followed by choking and a scream that transcends into a roar

[And as the video ends, she pulls the scroll back.]

Don't hurt her, please. She needs our help. She... she...

[Taking that blast head on finally took its toll on Cure Dream, causing her to slump down again and finally cancel out her transformation, returning her back to Nozomi. So much for keeping her identity secret.]

[Pierrot appears on the scroll in full clown regalia. He clears his throat, then begins to speak. It isn't his usual high-pitched racetrack announcer fanfare; his voice is low and quiet and almost... normal.]

Good evening, fellow guests of Equestria.

My name is Pierrot Bolneze, and I fear I may have inadvertantly been the cause of quite a bit of panic some weeks ago. I'd like to unravel one of the mysteries behind that incident, to rid this town of one more ghost... Especially one that haunts my own self so closely.

You see, I am a clown by profession. In fact, I am quite famous as a circus performer back home, in high demand for performances with my troupe all year round. I have earned this fame through years of hard work and training and more than a little luck, and I am proud of where my career has taken me. I'm sure most of you remember the town-wide celebration back in early November, after all?

Now, in order to appeal to the widest possible audience, I trained myself in far more than the usual circus-derived skills. I can also be a diplomat, an interpreter, a political advisor, a nutritionist, a dispenser of trivia, or even master of ceremonies; always performing at the same level of skill demanded by internationally-renown masters of the same craft. I was the leader of my circus, and my audience were often the leaders of countries - I could not afford to disappoint on any point.

In the end though, while my troupe's would be on call to perform maybe twice a week (thrice during particularly lucrative tours), I find myself called upon to perform on a near nightly basis. I love my work, and I love my audience, but such a schedule can be exhausting; even more so when I alone must manage and prepare for performances.

It is inevitable then, that I began to take some shortcuts.

[The clown hesitates, and reaches to the side to grab something off-camera before pressing on.]

Ladies and gentlecolts, the visage you see before you right now is my "true face". It is not make-up, nor paint, nor cosmetic of any kind. During the peak of my career I had my face surgically altered to resemble my clown make-up - and it seems even as a pony, this remains true. I cannot ever stop wearing my performer's mask.

...That is, unless I wear another mask to cover it.

[With that, the off-screen object is rapidly slid over his head and adjusted over his features, accompanied by muffled sounds of rubber against fur. The maneuver is performed with a speed that could only be born from hours and hours of practice and in moments, Pierrot's face is transformed - he is now a perfectly ordinary pegasus with a slate gray coat and spiky white mane.

The clown smiles gamely at the scroll, but his ears twitch nervously anyways.]

If you have any questions, I'm more than happy to answer.

[There's a flash of pink on the video, and a hoof poking it, rather slowly.] Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? What in tarnation is going on here? You whipper snappers need to buck it together, and throw a party!

[There's a cracking noise like bones popping and the owner of the voice comes into view, griping as she tries to massage out a kink. It's Pinkie Pie, but she's OLD. Like Granny Smith old. She also seems to be as energetic as ever.]

What you young'uns need right now is a party! Let ol' Granny Pinkie Pie do ya good for it. I'll fetch my balloons and I'll be over for the lil' ones!

Anypony see my dentures?!

[Things sure have been crazy lately, haven't they? Know what this needs? New people. I mean, what else could you need? A solution? Get out of here, I don't even want to look at you.

No, the scroll begins with a nice shot of, well, erm... it's not exactly a nice shot at all. From the look of things, the scroll is on the ground and is currently being trampled on frantically by four little paws.

Ponyville's newest arrival appears to be a tiny blue cat, a very angry one for that matter. She spins around in place, taking in the new environment and trying her hardest to process what the heck just happened here. Her steps are less than graceful, Arcee didn't even have four wheels like most of the bots back home, what makes anyone think she can adjust to four legs quickly? Nope, she's a little ball of stumblely rage right now, hair standing on end with a face that reads "I'm gonna kill the first person who comes near me".

Don't even get her started on the whole suddenly organic thing. If one pays close attention, they can probably notice the odd way she's trying to breathe. You'll have to forgive her, breathing is normally not a thing.]

Swear on the Allspark, if I find whoever did this--

[She can't even finish a sentence without it turning into a weird ramble mixed with adorable growling. Maybe it's a good thing this bundle of outrage is quite small and therefore quite out of the way. It wouldn't be too hard to miss her and carry on with your probably-chaos-filled day. Well, minus the whole "this just got broadcasted from under her" thing.

Is she the master of first impressions or what?!]

[The feed opens up to show an old gray-maned orange pony looking rather energetic for his age.]

Alright, I don't know what villain is behind this mess, but I need everypony's assistance in helping me locate some missing individuals! I am currently looking for one Princess Celestia, who has been reported missing as of yesterday, one Mrs. Flash Sentry, who also goes by the name of Twilight and was also reported missing as of yesterday, and one pony named Honeycomb! I have reason to believe all of these disappearances may be related to the SAME DASTARDLY VILLAIN WHO WAS BEHIND ALL OF THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

In addition to this, I have recieved reports of a TERRIBLE FIRE from a young lady I met while on this search, and I am not at all sure that the fire I found was, in fact, the very fire she was speaking about! So I need to know if there are any fires in the area I need to take care of, too!

[Just another day in the life of a superhero who should probably retire like his wife keeps pestering him to, but, come on, where's the fun in that?]

I've arrived in Equestria, just as we planned. I've even taken a proper pony disguise...though it seems my wings are still visible. In fact, quite a few of my belongings are missing...but no matter; I wasn't expecting a smooth transition. I trust this scroll as the replacement for my phone, so I'll contact you again once I have a heading on this investigation.

...Oh, and Composer? I trust you've already realized it, but there's something...different about this shift. Something off. We'll have to discuss this later; time is short and we both know this week won't last very long.

[
( The trials of a country mouse are never easy. )

Ah apologize for being quiet the last few days, but Ah’ve been thinking after that Nightmare Moon thing…

Ah…Ah got caught in one of those nightmares. And if it weren’t for mah friends, Ah don’t know if I’d be here right now. And Ah want to get better at fightin’ so that Ah can help others too, and make it so they don’t have to rescue me, puttin’ themselves in danger.

Ah know we have fighters here, both physical and magical, so Ah have a request:

Ah would like to train with those who would have me as a student. Ah don’t think Ah can use magic a’tall, but at the very least, Ah want ta learn to dodge stuff, and Ah want to get ta be a better fighter overall, so that Ah can do better next time.

As you might can see, Ah’m a lance and shield user. Couple of my lances are suited for throwin’, but for the most part, Ah get up close and pummel the snot outta things, or at least try to. S-so, if you can help in any way, Ah’d be much obliged, and Ah’d pay ya any way Ah can.

[Okay she’s starting to get nervous…]

Um, also, Ah’ve been, uh, having bad dreams lately…anypony got a way ta get rid of those?

~~~~~

( Private action to Rainbow Dash )~~~~~

( Private visual to May!Twi )

Hiiiiiiiiii, everypony~! I want you to meet my newest friend!

[Pinkie turns the scroll and...oh lord. That is a statue pony. And Pinkie did her best, but this statue pony is still pretty clearly made out of pieces of several other statue ponies. It's even got a horn and wings - not to mention the pink plastic tiara on its head.]

This is Princess Pumice! She's been pretty quiet so far, but I've been taking her to meet everypony! Everypony in the bakery, anyway, she's pretty heavy! And I gave her a Welcome Cupcake, see? [It's just sitting on a little table in front of the statue. Pinkie bounces over, throwing her foreleg around Princess Pumice's shoulders.]

These are all my newpony friends, Princess Pumice! Say hi!

God you know what I miss the most? Not my fingers.

I miss wearing underwear. Seriously! I need myself a pair of pink panties and a bra stat or I think I'm going to go completely mad. I'm not even going to double-check pony anatomy either. Maybe I need a biology book.

I miss just hanging around in the house doing homework in my underwear.

Other than that, how's your day been?

HEY, EVERYPONY! [Pinkie leans over her scroll, clearly not in Sugarcube Corner or anywhere else she normally broadcasts from.] Guess what? I'm over at Don's, and he found out something really neat! Those statue-ponies are made out of gypsum alabaster! That's the stuff they use to make statues for tombs and things! Spooky, right?

Oh, and you can't get them wet, 'cause they'll fall apart! But hey, if they're alabaster, I guess we know why they weren't so...talc-ative!

[Hysterical giggling ensues before she snaps the scroll shut. Off to watch more experiments!]

[The scroll opens up to a familiar face. Except it doesn't really seem so familiar. It's different. It's Fluttershy... except for the fact that the entirety of her seems duller and darker. You may also notice that her eyes are sort of slitted like a dragon, or that she has some small fangs.]

Bucking higher-ups... Okay, everyone, listen up because we have some demands. The first one... Where the buck is Kreutzer? ...Or Asakura? We didn't wake up in a train, and our bucking phone isn't working.

[She pauses, bringing up a strange object some of you may recognize as a cell phone. She fiddles with it for a little bit, then grunts and puts it away.]

We're not getting any signal either... Did you buck up our phones!? Where the buck is Lovers!? You cancelled the game, and we demand answers! Now! Come on, you slimy pieces of dragon fewmet-eating-

[Just then, Fluttershy seems to cut herself off from saying anything else. Another strange thing happens. Fluttershy's mane and tail go back to a lighter, more vibrant shade, the fangs disappear and the eyes go back to normal.]

Um, I'm terribly sorry about her... But can you, um, please give us some answers, now that the game is over?