HOOVESWEEK 3

[ponymeisters]

[Morning, Equestrians! Because of the nature of news that has been happening, its that time again albeit a bit early for its quarterly-ish print runs, but news is news, right? and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!

Of course, some of them have little black sleeves stapled to the top of them in order to spare those with delicate stomachs the ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE CONTENT that is the newest Hoovesweek cover, depending on where it is bought. But, otherwise...]




Might this pony even be worse than Discord himself? A murder most foul, and yet where's the punishment for this heinous mad criminal?! Can a hoedown and "beerklava" really help the poor ponies move on...!???! This is, without a doubt, the most controversial cover story we have ever done - complete with the most controversial cover, showing what is believed to have happened that terrible night!

Other Top Stories Include:
Title: The Changeling Zetta
by Gelt Beck

Title: The Handiest Man In Everfree Forest
by Bertie Wooster (edited by Hoovesweek)

Title: Nightmare Night, What a Blight
by Timberwolf Blitzer


BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-Sources discussing the disappearance of Princess Luna - well, a Princess Luna, and why we should - and shouldn't - be too worried.
-An article discussing the attempted Marelyn Monriowche heist and speculation surrounding the mysterious but dashing masked mare who foiled the robbery.
-A photo gallery of the best of the best from Rarity of Ponyville, who also discusses her upcoming show and her relationship with the wannabe overlord, Zetta!
-In entertainment news, an exclusive interview with Tom Shanks about his top-secret biographical flick, in which he teases a few juicy hints as to its confidential subject.
-In foaleign news, congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridle to giving birth to a healthy baby colt! Now, surely, its finally time to look at possible marriage candidates for our ruler...?
-A short Daring Do story about the dungeon that apparently exists underneath the library - from the anonymous author of Daring Do themselves!


So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!

((OOC: As usual, feel free to react, or comment on those stories, or even make up seeing other stories in this issue!

And, original picture credit is...Ni! It probably shows, too.))

Comments

[bluesuit_hoofy]

Handy, for his part, hadn't read the magazine yet -- hadn't even realized it was out yet, and had forgotten about the article Bertie had decided to write about him back before things on the commune farm all went wrong. Today he was wandering about looking for trouble -- he couldn't deny even to himself that if something didn't present itself that needed fixing, he'd end up in the Everfree Forest sooner or later just to give himself a crisis to sort out. Building the artichoke harvester hadn't been such a great distraction as all that; now that it was finished he'd lost interest in doing anything with it or any other farm equipment.

He certainly wasn't looking for the Doctor, but when he came upon him, Handy was surprised to find that he didn't want to turn tail and slink away rather than talk to the Time Lord. He hung back a moment, not entirely sure he wanted to strike up a conversation, either, until his eye caught on the colorful back cover of Hoovesweek where it had landed face-down.

"Isn't it a bit early for this to be out?" he asked, stepping closer and pawing at it with a hoof to turn it over. That was a mistake -- when he saw the front cover, his heart plummeted, and he turned his face away. "...Oh. Right. Big story, should've guessed."

[trustme]

"It seems they decided to sensationalize it. Those buggers at the press- I'm starting to think the most unpleasant ponies around here are working at Hoovesweek," The Doctor grumbled, shaking his head. He looked at Handy. It would be best to give him a fair warning. "That's not the only ridiculous thing they did in this issue. It seems they edited an article that Bertie wrote about his adventures with you, distracting from the actual point of the article. I suggest saving your money and reading a copy of the original straight from Bertie himself. If you haven't already."

[bluesuit_hoofy]

"'s news, isn't it?" Handy sighed. "And I definitely have not. He wanted them to publish something to distract from the drivel they wrote about him the last time -- to be honest, I'm a little afraid to see what he came up with."

Little does he know that Bertie is actually a more than passable writer...or that he had quite a lot more to fear than Wooster getting overexcited or Hoovesweek cutting the article short. "I'm surprised they published it at all, to be honest. What did they do to it?"

[trustme]

The Doctor hesitated a moment, then after a sharp inhale spoke. "They have us mixed up with each other." The was the basic gist of it at least.

[bluesuit_hoofy]

Handy frowned. "Be sort of difficult, wouldn't it? Considering we don't look anything alike now." Sitting down, he used one forehoof to pull the magazine over to himself and clumsily got it flipped around and opened to the article. The title was just as ridiculous as he'd expected, and there -- yes, there, as he skimmed down the first couple paragraphs, was Bertie exaggerating Handy's every deed. To be expected, really.

[trustme]

"I don't think it's a problem with appearances... I think... It's the name that confuses them," The Doctor admitted. Handy certainly seemed attached to the name, even if there was some Donna in him or a chance Rose had helped give him a human name.

[bluesuit_hoofy]

"What, they've never heard of two ponies having the same name?" Handy snorted, but he was uneasy. It was more than that, he knew; he'd been going around saying he was the Doctor, albeit with at least a very brief (and often reluctant) explanation of how that worked. He skimmed on, half expecting the bit where they speculated he and the Doctor were somehow the same pony after all -- but it was another theory that made him suck in an angry breath.

"A changeling?!

[trustme]

This was why The Doctor didn't want for Handy to read it for both their sakes.

"Not completely unexpected from the paper that sensationalized Nemo's murder," he sighed. "I'm surprised the Princess has not had a word with the lead editor."

[bluesuit_hoofy]

"I'll have a word," said Handy tersely. He'd do rather more than that, he felt. The tabloid had already been an annoyance, but now he could truly focus his ire. Destroying a house of lies would be a productive thing to do with his time, wouldn't it?


[OOC: We could wrap this up with Handy going off to demand the Hoovesweek office's address from the salespony, as he's done elsewhere on the post.]